Search for a Greater Meaning

When I look around, I see a lot of people going about with their daily life. They get a few years down the road, and look around realizing that they spent a good chunk of their life in a haze. They were so busy, so caught up, and so exhausted that they just survived in their day-to-day life.

Meanwhile, I look at dolphins swimming in their little herds (I don't know the fancy name for their groups... school? pack? family? whatever) and they seem so content and engaged in their play. They're just playing! They swim together, swimming with waves and jumping over the waves, and going about their business.

Dogs live to have their people come home (if their people are nice or at least not beating them.) Even still, they remain joyful, excited, loving, engaged, and wholly pure. Even after a dog has been abused it's entire life, there is hope that, with the right person to love on them unconditionally, their broken hearts can be mended. Or there are those strays who wander around small towns making friends with all of the locals and find joy in running their rounds each day and then napping in the shade of a tree.

These creatures are so sure and positive of their life. They are engaged and don't watch time go by. Yet, they seem to know they have a higher purpose. Maybe I'm just reading too much into this and I'm over thinking everything. Actually, there's a good chance that is happening. However, from what I observe, they have a higher purpose in the simple daily life they live. They have found purpose in the hundreds of small things they do in a day.

I told my counselor (a few months ago when I was in counseling) that one of my goals (in a little exercise we did) was to find purpose and meaning for my life. She told me to focus on the "here and now" because I was still in crisis mode. She also mentioned that many times people don't necessarily discover the higher purpose of their life, while here on earth because it's something people have been thinking about and searching for over thousands, millions?, of years.

Still, there is some pull to discover why it is that I'm here. I'm so sick of the day-to-day nonsense of adulthood. The business and technology that takes over each day. The fickle emotions that cause me to ride this awful roller coaster (I'm pretty certain I'm out of my little manic season and headed back down). There's got to be more. More than graduating college, working, finding a nice companion to hopefully not beat me the rest of my days, having children, and finding myself suddenly on my death bed with a whole life full of memories that nobody will get to inherit. Those memories will end with me. There has to be some reason that I was kept alive through the various things that should have killed me.

Perhaps someday some light will be shed on this for me. If not, I guess it's a noble quest to figure it out.