Healing at Random

Months after Country Boy's death and my subsequent daily breakdowns for a couple of months, G-d has been showing me how far the grieving has come in the most random ways. Yes, I am still heart-broken that it happened and I am selfishly mad that he left, but I've come a long way.

Today while catching up on some of my favorite blogs, I came across this article by Shepherd of the Gurneys. He then added a link to Eat, Think, and Be Merry's article, "A Perspective on Suicide." Needless to say, it brought tears to my eyes and my heart is currently feeling a bit bruised, but I'm reminded that G-d has brought me so very far. He also has the mercy to give me a heart that still cares and can still be broken, though. Even though it sucks right now, I'm glad that I can feel sad and be able to mourn the death of a young man I had just barely met.

I encourage you to read the article linked above. One quote says, "Suicide was not a choice he made, but rather a choice he happened onto when his pain was greater than his ability to cope." How fitting for CB. Unfortunately, I am still under the impression that I may have been a slight adage to the pain, but I don't think it was my fault.

I'm gonna go grab some tissues...