Shock of the Week

For my last week of clinicals, the census was ridiculously low on my clinical floor. I'm talking 11 patients between two nurses and many of those patients were going to get discharged throughout the day. Crazy low! So, my clinical group, all three of us, were placed on a different floor.

The day was going really well. I got to hang a bunch of IV stuff, give some shots, see chest tubes, and do all sorts of fun stuff with an excellent nurse. I made it to the end of the day and walked to the other end of the extremely large unit. Guess who I run into! EXboyfriend's mom... She was super sweet and I asked what she was doing there. We chatted for a little bit and I asked if EXboyfriend had told her we had broken up. She said that he had and that when I get a job opportunity, I just have to take it. She said he was bummed about it but she encouraged me to go where work was. I was so confused! After she left, I texted him to let him know I had seen her and to ask him what he was telling people as far as the reason we had broken up. He blamed it on my decision to move to another state after graduation because I already have a job pretty much lined up at Mema's hospital. He asked if I was ma about the story. I told him that I'm not upset with the story because it keeps it simple and I can roll with that, even though it is an absolute lie.

Meanwhile, it is killing me that he doesn't even know the hoops I have had to jump through, the no eating, the nausea, the ER visit, the ER bill, the contraception pill, the nightmares, and everything else that I am having to go through. Yes, I have support from friends, Mom, and my brother ended up guessing what EXbf had done because I sorta let a little something slip when I had been drinking a little bit and he was my designated driver... I am also signed up for counseling... Anyway, EXbf knows nothing of my misery because he couldn't keep it in his pants and keep his promise to me. I just want to tell him, I just want him to hear the pain in my voice, the anger that he stole my future, me crying on the other end of the phone. Even all of this would do the whole process of my grief and pain no justice, but then he would know and I wouldn't be bearing this burden in complete secret while he is simply upset that I broke up with him. I'm not only going through a breakup, I'm dealing with the aftermath of sexual assault and I will be stuck with that for the rest of my life.

I had been doing okay, and then I saw his mom.