My only final was completed last Monday. I'm so sorry I did not update you guys, life has been all sorts of crazy busy lately. So, I will take it one bit at a time.
Grades: 2 A's and 1 B for this last semester which is pretty good! The final in my class ended up being a test that nobody did well on so the teacher made it only 1% of our entire grade so I got to keep my A in the class. Oh my goodness, praise the L-rd! I had gone out dancing the night before instead of studying and I actually met a guy.
On the subject of that guy, he asked me to dance. I agreed. He asked for my number. I gave it to him. He proceeded to text me after the stupid, customary 2-day waiting period and we've kinda hit it off. So, after spending most of the last week with him, he's my boyfriend. Super early and I'm not sure how compatible we are together, but he got the sexual assault/rape information out of me and he's been really supportive and sweet. Thus far we've been going full-throttle, and I told him that, and he's agreed to slow it down a bit. Right now he's in another state because he travels with his job for 2 months and then he comes back for breaks of 2-3 weeks. In that time we'll be able to talk and see if this is something that will work out or not. It's concerning that we met each other at a bar... and I don't trust anyone, especially not now... but there's something about him and I don't know what it is. I guess we will see. His name is Redneck BF (R BF for short).
Counseling went okay. We talked a little bit about coping strategies for me but the best one so far is distraction. As long as I stay really busy and go out a lot, I don't seem to have issues. However, when I sit still for too long or stay up too late, that's when I start having troubles. I feel like I'm going crazy though, I had to learn mindfulness exercises and they help when I'm in the office but not so much in the real world.
I worked last night for the first time since the incident. I had a 2 hour long anxiety attack and could only rock myself back and forth while telling myself that "I am okay". It seemed like I was doing better, but the night shift and the vast amounts of dark space with near silence is not conducive to avoiding the thought of what happened and what I wish could have happened. Alas, work + minimal sleep today after work = a very tired girl who believes she may be able to have a decent night's rest tonight. Well, L-rd willing, of course.
I hope all y'all are doing well in your respective places in the world.
Hey girl, I'm glad that things are starting to normalize a bit - I'm sure that with time that things will continue to get better. That being said, be real careful - I'm sure that you're particularly vulnerable right now and I don't want any further damage done to you because of stupid men. Remember, we can't control other's choices, only our own. When you're around this new guy, have someone with you - then you know that HIS choices will have someone else to ensure that they remain pure! I hope only blessed things for you!
ReplyDeleteYaaay about your marks! I've just finished my courses - doesn't it feel WONDERFUL?! I just started my new course, wish me luck! R U taking a course(s) over the summer? What do you have planned for this summer?
Hey sweet lady! It feels absolutely wonderful to be done. I am taking nothing over the summer because summer courses only stress me out extra and my brain is already fried. I am just working this summer and then going on a lot of trips in July. I have a camping trip, a road trip, and a trip to the local hot springs all on the books and all lasting about a week! So between that and work, I don't have much time for anything else. Do you have any excitement planned for the summer?
ReplyDeleteGood ideas about the boyfriend thing, I'm definitely going to try to keep our hanging out limited to public places and try to have some of our friends around just to keep the accountability, like you said.
Thank you, dear friend for your kind comments, they mean so much to me, truly!