Break-Up?

I broke up with a guy that I didn't know I was dating... I think that maybe both parties should be notified if a friendship suddenly moves into the dating phase... Maybe that's just me?

 At least he took it well. He told me that we couldn't get dinner together or hang out without other friends around anymore. He also told me that "since we're not dating, we can't hold hands and no more forehead kisses anymore." He said it in such a way, that he seemed to be making that a punishment. All I could think was: Bro, you're the one who did those things. I did not instigate such gestures. But hey, at least he had good boundaries in "dating" and he's willing to enforce different, more strict ones after a break-up.

When I originally broke the news to him that I couldn't handle the dating and girlfriend labels because I'm just not ready, he told me that nobody is ready because dating and marriage are all about being self-less and learning to serve another. Well no shit, but it's also about communication so that THE OTHER PERSON KNOWS THEY ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP!!! I'm not being selfish by refusing to "date" you and I'm not changing my decision. He was nice, but I got frustrated that he went on his little tangent. Seriously dude, just don't even go there with me. You don't know my life, you don't know what I've been through. You don't even know me! So don't start.


The next day I sent a text to Best Friend asking: "Am I a heartless bitch for not being sad after 'breaking up' with a kid I didn't know I was dating?" Oh to have heard the laughter in person!  He told me I wasn't and proceeded to laugh, as only he can at my strange life circumstances and told me that I am very serious about being clear of what my relationship status is. I asked if he was being sarcastic, as he normally is with me, but he told me he was not. Apparently he recalls the slow, painful road he and I took towards that front a few years ago. Oh that poor child, at least he knew where we stood at all points in our relationship, from acquaintance to friendship to "trial run" of potentially dating.

I'm so glad somebody gets me and finds humor in the things I find funny. After the "break-up" call with the recent fella, I was too baffled by what he was saying and his little rant to be able to say anything more than "okay" repeatedly. I feel a little bit bad that he's now worried about me being super sad, even though I wasn't because I was unaware I was supposed to be emotionally invested. However, am I supposed to stop him and say that I'm not actually sad in the least? Nah, that would just be mean. This kid is a believer and he goes to church. I don't need to add on extra issues to the stresses he's facing in his life at the moment.