Princesses and Superheros

I recently discovered the world of Marvel movies. They are full of adventure, superpowers, flirting, showing off, and humor. Of course guys (and gals) like these movies! The characters, especially the superheroes, are witty, confident, and seem to always show up at the right time with the ability to save the day. Then, in the end, they get the really cool girl that they've been flirting with for a good majority of the movie. Sometimes they meet this girl and begin to "fight", showing that she is independent and strong. But, she eventually sees his  side and begins to follow his lead.

Contrast that to Disney princess movies that are now being made with live action technology where these princesses are portraying the stories many already know: Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Snow White, and all the rest. The princess plays this strong, independent lady who is being oppressed by the world around her. She overcomes many obstacles, shows herself to be strong and lovely. Then she is transformed into this person that everyone wants to know and she ends up with the guy of her dreams who adores her with all he is and he treats her like the princess/queen she is.

Now, look at these types of movies next to the data that has been collected and analyzed by Shaunti Feldhahn (For Women Only/For Men Only), Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs (Love and Respect), Chad Eastham (Guys Are Waffles, Girls Are Spaghetti/Guys Like Girls Who...), and countless others. I don't know about you, but I see the common pattern pointed out in the books being played out in the movies. Guys watch movies about guys who are strong, leaders, respected, fighting against the evil in the world (and winning). Inevitably, there is a girl there who adores him and respects his role in everything. Looking, then, at princess and romance movies, we see strong girls who are adored by guys for her independence and strength. She finds a source of stability, protection, and love. She proves herself throughout the movie and he, the prince, falls madly in love with her, treats her with respect and absolute adoration, and they proceed to live happily ever after.

Friends, these probably aren't huge revelations to you, but the connect between movie audiences and Disney/Marvel was a new one for me. I watch the cartoon Disney movies because they are usually "wholesome", not trigger happy movies, and they have fund songs. I discovered Marvel movies because we talked about Thor at church last week and I've seen little things about Groot. I wanted to see why everyone adored him so much. So, in the spirit of research, I got part way through Thor before the scary lava guy made me too nervous. So I tried Guardians of the Galaxy and in the second one, little Groot is dancing all around as everyone of his friends is fighting for their lives! I laid in bed, falling asleep, but laughed because some days I feel like the fighters and some days I feel like little, baby Groot with chaos all around and I'm just in my own world, dancing to the happy music.

I think these connections are important, especially when talking about marriage. Obviously, that is why Shaunti, Dr. Eggerichs (and his wife and daughter! [she worked on Love and Respect (Now) and she's hilarious!]), Chad, and so many other talk about these things in relation to marriage/dating. These wonderful people use data, based on thousands of surveys, to help women and men understand each other and how to relate to the opposite sex better. Directors and authors (even fiction) have been focusing on these differences for centuries, but I am so grateful for the people who have worked so hard to bring us the data along with whys and how to help us relate to each other. I've learned so much.

If you guys get a chance, visit the websites of the authors above and read their books. I think it'll bring some light to the mysteries between genders.

Love Stories and Princess Movies

Growing up I was never really shown the princess movies or love story movies. I was not read those types of books and I was mostly unaware of what normal girls are raised with as far as the fairy tale ending of life is concerned.








Instead, I grew up with toy trucks, remote control cars, guns, Bible stories, Lincoln Logs, and dirt bikes. I was raised by a tom boy and my dad to be a very independent, strong-willed, surprisingly quiet-spirited tom boy.

Since I did not have a whole lot of exposure to these girly things, they hit me like a ton of bricks when I was about ten and I got a friend who was all sorts of girly. Goodness me!

At first it didn't seem to be a big deal. We had sleepovers just about every weekend. We watched movies, talked about boys, did our nails, and sometimes we fought. I was so unused to all of those things but they seemed normal because that's what I had seen on t.v.

As time has gone on, I have noticed a pattern within myself after watching/reading these girly happily ever after stories. When I first begin watching them or reading the books, I will be happy. They make me feel good. Somehow, they give me "hope" that I will have a future filled with love and some sweet guy that sweeps me off my feet and life goes about merrily and everyone lives "happily ever after". Give me 2 weeks max of being okay with these types of books and movies and then cynicism hits hard. I start picking out the flaws in their plots. My eyes roll uncontrollably when the guy does something sweet or when life ends up just perfect for those stupid fictional characters while my friend's husband dies a week after their 2nd wedding anniversary or I get mad because nobody hit on me at a dance after I had worked so hard to look as pretty as I will ever get. About a week of that and I become flat out angry. 2-7 days after the angry phase and depression hits. Whether this is from the stories or from me now having to be in school and the sun staying in the sky for much shorter periods of time, I don't know. I just know that signs of the beginning of my depression spells are coming and they are hitting really hard and really fast.

Most of all, I think I did this to myself. I know I should not watch these movies and read these stories because I get like this every time. I figured I would "treat" myself over the summer so that I could read instead of sit on the couch and run out of Netflix binge opportunities because I have seen them all already... But I know how I get every time.

I always think, "maybe this will be the year that I can just leave the fiction in the fictional world and be able to separate if from my real-life." Every year I prove myself wrong. I start dreaming of guys and making my Pinterest boards of my fantasy wedding and dates that I would like to go on, but they don't come.

I did however start to develop my first crush since Country Boy died and I broke up with Best Friend (although that still doesn't seem totally real to me). This crush can't last though. I'm too old for him and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a ditz. Mostly because I am... But I'm really smart! I promise!!! My brain just completely shuts off when I don't have to be constantly thinking and then my brain doesn't shut my mouth off so I just say the dumbest things and can't stop. It's really embarrassing, especially in front of country boys because I'm not some city girl but I wasn't raised in the country either. I say I was raised country in the city, but that just means I don't belong in either place. Like the not Jewish but not really Christian thing because I'm Messianic. Or the not fully girl because I act like a boy but I have those two darn X chromosomes instead of an X and a Y.

I think I'm having a mild identity crisis along with my worsening depression symptoms... Good news I am doing my mental health rotation this semester. Also, I have learned that I should have been hospitalized several times due to my symptoms and behaviors but I'm super good at hiding stuff so nobody was able to do anything to help me. Praise the L-rd for allowing me to live through what legitimately should have killed me. I'm finding my way back to him but life is getting even harder and I didn't think that would be possible after losing my brother (to him being stupid and moving out), me breaking my best friend, and then my friend killing himself. So, I keep saying the same things over and over here but nothing changes. I keep telling people I'm "good" or "fine" but that's because I don't want to burden them or make them worry. I lie but I got myself into this hole.

Saw this video on Facebook the other day and it's actually a really decent depiction of some of the struggles depression causes. So, if you have a spare moment, go ahead and watch this: Depression Video.