My Session of Healing Prayer

As mentioned, my counselor lead me through a session of Healing Prayer. At first, it was really difficult. I felt my mind go blank and I couldn't go anywhere.

Eventually, though, G-d brought me to my NICU in Small Town. The NICU where I find such comfort, such joy, such realization of my dream to care for babies coming true. I absolutely loved this NICU when I was there and I miss it so much!

Anyway, I was there, standing at the entrance to one of the NICU bays. I didn't go in, there was no baby there, but I was comfortable.

Then He then brought me to a dark place. There were no walls, it wasn't pitch black, and I was not scared. I was just there sitting with my eyes closed, still not scared. When my vision came back a little, I could see myself sitting there, in Yeshua's lap as a little child, and he was simply rocking me. My eyes were closed, I was comfortable. His eyes were closed, and His face was so serene and peaceful.

I remembered my time spent in the nursery at church, with the little 1-2 years olds, and little 3 year olds that experienced so much separation anxiety. I remember helping to start with a church startup. I worked the childcare, of course, as my whole life had prepared me for. I worked with the nursery of children up to 1 year old, and then the next class of children going up to about 3 years old. With each week, I learned the children's personalities, and how to help them the best. I remember this one little boy who rarely stayed in the class, because he would cry so hard that we would have to call his mom back most weeks within 10-15 minutes of him being dropped off. Week after week, I tried my best to pull out all of my tricks to comfort him, and then some. I wrote little sheets to help other volunteers know what tricks worked best with each child. Thinking back, I was writing up careplans at the age of 16, before I ever knew what a careplan was. Now it just seems to make sense to me, having been through nursing school and working as a nurse for the last couple of years.

This particular little boy finally settled down one day, in my arms. I sat with him, on my lap, with my hand bringing his head to my chest. I "shhhhhhh" over and over, while my hand supported the area around his sweet little ear. Eventually, he calmed down. I released my grip and he brought my hand back to the side of his face, to resume the comforting pressure.

When I saw myself sitting in Yeshua's lap, He was supporting my little face against His chest in this fashion. Finally, after being the comforter for so many babies, children, friends, and others, I was finally being comforted by The Comforter. I was supported, protected, cherished, and a source of joy for the One who loves me, made me, and has walked with me my whole life.

Shortly after, I saw myself with Him in an open field. I was a child, in a white dress, dancing and enjoying my time in a field of little white flowers. I spent time dancing around with Him and other time laying in the soft grass enjoying the warmth and peace of His presence. Everything was bright and beautiful and clean. I was white and pure and innocent. I was loved and secure in my knowledge that I am loved. I was joyful and able to enjoy time being carefree without a care in the world.

I thanked Him for my time with Him, for Him showing up to be with me, and for what He's shown me. I thanked Him for all of the healing He brought about in such a short period of time and for the joy He's reinstated in my life so quickly.

I still tear up at the memories of the White Robe and what He did for me in the Healing Prayer session. I had never experienced visions before, and I truly believe that is what I experienced in these moments.

Checkin' In

Wow, it has been awhile since my last post! Spring break is going really well. I have not done much but watch movies and Netflix, but I'm kinda diggin' that. Yesterday was Passover so the night before that my family and I had a sedar. Passover is a really powerful time because it causes you to re-examine your life and your actions. Also, I broke Shabbat yesterday :( Passover and the last day (at least those two days) are supposed to be Sabbath's to the L-rd, but I broke it and I hate that I broke it. All I did was go to Ikea with my friends because we had been planning it for awhile and I did not even realize we had planned to go on Pesach (Hebrew word for Passover).

Today I get to go see my kids! Now, they aren't my real kids. I'm only 18 - almost 19, but that's beside the point - and there are 4 of them. I'm pretty sure it is impossible for me to have had 4 kids... Just sayin'. Anyway, they are kids that I used to babysit and I love them so much. I just love kids. Any child that has ever come through my nursery or that I have babysit pretty much turns into my kid because they make my heart happy, even when throwing tantrums and being ornery. I really miss church nursery because that was my niche when I didn't have friends to turn to. It was my sense of accomplishment because I was/am very good at dealing with the youngins, primarily newborn to 3 years old. Adults used to ask for my advice when they were volunteering in the nursery at our last church because it was brand new and I had been with the kids from the very beginning. I was almost put as a teacher but I was only 16 and needed to be at least 18, so they had me train the teachers and aides instead. Man, too bad that couldn't be my job! Just working in a nursery...

Daily Thanksgiving: I get to see my kids!!! Also, I got to hang out with my friends yesterday and I am so very thankful that Pesach was over break and I did not have to go to classes or work.