So, country summer boy has not texted me again since the other night. I feel like a booty call but we haven't ever actually done anything other than text and 1 coffee meeting.
That wasn't even the mistake.
I made the fool move to share the fact that I wanted a boyfriend for about a month (a couple months ago) with my nursing school friend. Also included in this silly confession was the fact that I didn't think guys were cute until sometime this summer. Since revealing this little shameful tidbit about myself, I have come to the realization that I am developmentally delayed in the social/emotional/people/life arena. These realizations keep happening to me as I spout out random information to my friends. THIS IS AN ISSUE!!!
I learned that I have major trust issues at dinner with my friend. I have discovered that I have delayed attraction understandings. Not to mention all of my other spontaneous revelations that have occurred throughout my life.
I've also learned that G-d protects me and my heart. He also allows me to get over my silly desires to have a boyfriend when I don't need a boyfriend right now. Then I ruin it, by thinking about it again, but then He fixes my mind again. Somewhere this cycle ends, right? Preferably sometime during my single life and not just when I finally do meet a guy and get married.
Life is so frustrating right now and I can't even explain these thoughts that are in my head and that makes me even more frustrated. I think I'm going to burst into flame because I am frustrated and can't figure out how to express myself. Oh, life. Why must it be so confusing and messy and hard?
There is still more that I want to say... but I still cannot put it into words. Therefore, this post ends here...
No comments:
Post a Comment