#3: Flirting

I went to Cabela's last night with my mom. In the whole 30 minutes that we walked around that store, we must have had 7 guys (employees) come up and ask us if we needed help. Great customer service! I hate when you have to go seek out help and the employees don't want to talk to you and they seem rude. So, I was becoming more and more pleased with the store because they have cool stuff, great customer service, Duck Dynasty stuff is everywhere (and in pink versions too!!!), and the guys selling guns took me seriously when I talked about getting a gun. That never happens to me. Also, I had just gotten my hair done and my makeup was done, so I was looking fairly decent. That has not happened in several weeks (unless I'm going out). So, it was a great night.

As we were walking back to the car my mom says, "That guy was flirting with you."

Me: "No he wasn't, he was selling me on a gun."

Mom: "That's probably why we keep getting asked if we need help so often tonight. You are so cute!"

Me: "..."


Folks, hopefully you know me by now, but I am kind of good at school but my people skills are lacking. I don't even know what flirting is!

So, I asked my mom what flirting is, when we got back in the car. She didn't answer me. That gave me no choice. I needed an answer and decided to consult my favorite source: Google.

After several hours of research, I still have no idea what flirting is. There is no formula, there is no absolute sign, there is no light that says that someone is flirting or that they are just being helpful. Therefore my understanding of dating fundamentals is still -8239885628473204873. Yes, I made it a quantitative amount on a scale from 1-10. I am in the negatives and a pretty deep negative, if you ask me but I was being conservative.

I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT FLIRTING IS!!!

This sucks. People have been leaning over to me saying, "Oh, he's flirting with you!" or something to that effect. I blush because 1) it sounds dirty to me and 2) I am embarrassed that I don't know what it is and 3) I'm embarrassed that it is happening to me and they called me out on it.

What is flirting? How do guys do it? More importantly, how do I avoid doing it? Do you have any ways of knowing that it's happening? Is it more of a guesstimating thing to be able to "read" into what is flirtatious and what is just genuine kindness? Is it inconvenient/embarrassing/unnecessary for anyone else?

Am I the only one that has no idea of what's going on?