Don't go down that road...

Going into college, I did not drink coffee regularly. It used to give me heart palpitations, even in the smallest amounts. Even if I ate too much chocolate, I would start getting funky heart feelings that are highly unpleasant.

Last week began my slow decent into what will likely end in a caffeine addiction. It's surprising that with my crazy schedule, it has taken me this long to come around to drinking coffee, so I suppose that's good. But man, clinicals are getting rougher. We start getting two patients soon which means... drumroll please... TWO careplans. There will be one long and one short. Regardless, it has been taking me until 0100-0200 to finish just a long one so I'm not certain how I will get an additional one and still get sleep before having to get up at 0430. Praise the L-rd there are only 4 weeks left of this for this semester!

My plans have been growing and growing for this summer. I have two trips planned already and both of them involve spending at least a week at a time with my Mema. In talking with her to make plans for these vacations, we started talking about nursing. She is a recently retired NICU nurse who is so very excited that I am following in her footsteps. Funny thing is, I wanted to be a nurse before I realized that is what she did. I also wanted to work with babies. Naturally, when I found out about the NICU, I was drawn to the idea of helping these sweet little infants. As we were discussing this, she informed me that her great-grandma was a doctor, midwife, and something else that I can't remember right now. But this lady saved almost all of the children in the town she lived in from a disease outbreak that was killing most children in the surrounding towns. Ever since her, most women in our family become nurses or have something to do with the medical field. Even the women that marry into the family tend to be nurses. I didn't find that little gem out until I went to our family reunion two summers ago. Most of the guys tend to be mechanics or some type of engineer (typically mechanical engineers.) This pattern is intriguing to me, but I suppose it makes sense because most guys marry ladies like their moms and girls marry guys like their dads. Still, it's an interesting pattern that I wish I knew how to further investigate.

Well, I'm heading off to work. Y'all have a great day and I'll let you know how clinicals go with two patients and TWO careplans.

Even I Forgot!

I'm 20 today. It's that odd year in between legally being able to drown your troubles in ETOH (alcohol) and your teenage years. This is going to be a struggle.

During clinicals today, I kept forgetting that it was my birthday until a family member would text me here, or I would get a Facebook message there. I was successful in keeping it a secret from all but my family and Best Friend. Yes, even he texted me Happy Birthday. How sweet is that?! G-d sure blessed me with an amazing ex even though I don't think I deserve someone being so kind as he is after I agreed to and then took back my proposal to "try this" (aka, begin going out.)

Maybe I forgot because I was up until 0200 finishing my care plan for today. Perhaps I forgot because I then woke up at 0430 to prepare for clinicals. Then I was rushed all day. I didn't remember again until one of my patients told me it was his birthday today too. He reminded me of my dad... I have got to stop relating my pt's to my family and friends because it makes the care so much harder. I love my dad. In fact, I'm a daddy's girl. However, the last pt I had that reminded me of him passed away unexpectedly. My heart broke and I grew a scar. Then the two ladies that reminded me of my Mema passed unexpectedly and that probably could have been avoided. Again, my heart ripped right in two, and then crumbled into a million little pieces. I picked up what I could, slapped it together with some glue and now my heart is more of a sagging, scarred, mangled mess of flesh more than anything else. I can't even find it some days because I give it to G-d, then foolishly take it back and proceed to lose it. He finds it and I make the same mistakes to repeat the vicious cycle again.

Today was so busy I just don't even know where to start. I got to D/C (discontinue) a foley! That was super exciting because I have only inserted/taken catheters out of manikins and they don't behave like real people and I feel so silly talking to them because I know they are a doll and they cannot respond. I despise make-believe games because I don't understand them and I can hardly think for myself let alone having to create whole other people/situations/conversations/etc for another person or people.

Also, in lab it took about 10 minutes to D/C a catheter. Well, not really, but it seemed like it would take a long time when going through the whole process. I did it in about a minute and I'm sure the nurse could have done it in about 4 seconds. You just deflate the balloon and pull out the tubing while coiling it around your hands so that it doesn't whip out and share the special surprises that are inevitably waiting at the end with everyone present.

I also got to give meds for the first time. That was actually more nerve wracking that the foley thing because they stress the importance of the 6 rights, double and triple checking your meds, and the dangers of getting into too much of a pattern. In lab, that skill took us about 30 minutes to pull approximately 15 meds from one med cart at the bedside, check them the 84720583 times that you have to check them, put them in a cup, and assist your patient with the administration of the meds. In real life, it took me maybe 5 minutes total to pull 8 meds from the med room down the hall from the pt, verify them, and assist the pt with taking them. I felt like I was doing it wrong all day. Thank the L-rd I got to give meds 3 separate times so I got lots of practice. But dang! All day I felt like I was doing everything wrong from passing meds, to helping the pt, to my assessment, to walking down the hall. At one point I questioned my heart's ability to pump simply because it is inside of me, the screw-up.

I survived. It was nuts. Even still, I am more comfortable learning how to be a nurse than I have ever been anywhere where I knew what I was doing. This profession makes me make sense. I'm super cheesy today. You're welcome.

First Patient

If you have someone in your life who has, is going, or will go to nursing school, you have likely heard about care plans. These are the bane of nursing student's existence. It is essentially an 8-12 hour assignment with less than 24 hours to complete it. There is very little you can work on before getting your patient and it requires a lot of research on one particular person which means you have to be at the hospital for a very long time the night before your clinical rotation.

My first care plan was 18 pages. It took me about 12 hours to complete. I finished most of it at 1:30 a.m. the night before clinicals only to wake up at 4:30 that same day in order to be to clinicals on time. Furthermore, just the med list took me 3.5 HOURS!!! There were close to 30 meds and I had half of them on the pre-made med list given to me by an upperclassman. These things SUCK.

By the time I got to clinicals the next morning, my patient had already been discharged...

I got a new patient (that I absolutely adore). This patient had 1, count 'em... 1 drug. That was insulin.

Dude, seriously?!

Whatever. It was great experience, clinicals were amazing. I had a fantastic nurse again and G-d continues to watch out for me and bless me in the most unexpected ways. He teaches me so much all the time and protects me in the greatest ways.