Gross Obsession

I was put into a group with 7 other of my fellow nursing students to do a case study. We finished the project in 5 minutes (of the 30+ minutes allotted) and spent the rest of the time watching a chest tube insertion, thoracentesis, stitches, and the like on YouTube. I no longer feel like such an oddball for watching these disgusting but totally fascinating procedures!!! There are other weird people like me that can watch all the different types of fluid extracted from the lungs and be able to eat in the process. I can watch the strangest, most graphic procedures and think nothing of it. It's just how I'm wired. Anyway, I made friends by bonding over crazy cool procedures that most people can't handle.

If you can watch invasive videos and keep your lunch down (you don't even have to snack while watching the video!) I recommend you search for a thoracentesis procedure because it is so cool!

*Disclaimer: I don't take any responsibility for any lost meals, nightmares, or gagging. Viewing this video is at your own discretion. It can be considered gross and very graphic. Do not watch if you are squeamish about blood and other bodily fluids.*

You may have to go to YouTube to see it better, but man, it is worth it! I linked it here in case you can't see it well in the embedded video. Enjoy!

The Return of Cynicism

Y'all, I don't know if it is a mineral imbalance, or a hormonal imbalance, or just general mental problems but my cynicism is returning with a vengeance! For a few months I have been more hopeful than normal, I have tolerated romantic movies and country music fairly well, but not any longer. Maybe it is because I quit watching and listening to all of those things cold-turkey, or maybe my depression is returning. So many things could be causing this, but it is quite unfortunate and quite annoying that I cannot control my own thinking.

For those of you that do not know what cynicism (because I did not know until a few weeks ago, even though several people have told me I am cynical), here is the definition according to www.thefreedictionary.com: " An attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others."

What caused me to be this way in the first place? I am not sure. Maybe it was all of the people whom I trusted as friends that turned out to not be my friend. It could be from me learning that I cannot trust people for anything, no matter the circumstance. Perhaps I am just paranoid, though it seems there should be a cause... I am just not sure. So, in the meantime, I am working on it. Does anyone else struggle with general distrust of EVERYONE? Do you have any tips for me?

Moving on: I went to an RA meeting/group observance thing today. It was kind of strange because they split us up into big groups of 16 or so, then observe us as we work together in a group to accomplish tasks. This requires a significant amount of ability to be heard and to speak up. Haha, I do not necessarily have these qualities. I do have good ideas, I am just not so good at knowing when others will stop talking so I can share them because I was taught to not talk over people because it is rude. L-rd willing, my proper manners will not get in the way of an RA job. But, again, that depends on whether G-d wants me to be an RA or not.

Daily Thanksgiving: The RA meeting thing ended 3 hours early, just like I had prayed for it to end! It's crazy the ways G-d answers prayers! Absolutely amazing. I got to spend time with my friends just being able to do nothing but talk and watch silly YouTube videos. I love Shabbat. Than reminds me... Shabbat Shalom!

Men In Labor

I thought this was funny, seeing as I would like to ultimately be a midwife. I think it's neat that the guys at least tried it. Someday, this would be a great Chanukah present for me if I get my own practice! Somehow, I believe it would help the husbands/significant others of the laboring women to understand what helped them during contractions, that way they would know how to better assist during the woman's labor.