Does anyone else suffer from foot-in-mouth disease? It's a chronic condition that I have developed and I have many, many acute exacerbations. If only there was a treatment for it... medication... a padded room... a handler... complete solitude... SOMETHING!
Let's just start with today's incident.
At 0700 I arrive at my nursing school in order to finish my 10 page paper and print off a few articles before class at 0830. The way that my university is set up, the nursing school is set way at the edge of campus, away from the rest of the normal class buildings. Why? I don't know. We should be close to the cute mechanical engineering guys. That's a story for another day though.
My paper got turned in and class went fine. After class, I get a short break for lunch and then I go to my IT job. Upon walking into my IT job desk, I start up a conversation with the gentleman that worked the shift before mine. I mentioned that there is a student IT down in the nursing school computer lab that was not there before. A few more things are said and just as my IT boss (the real boss) walked in I ask, "how can I get that job." A chuckle behind me that can only come from him brings on an extreme heat in my face and I'm sure I turned bright red. He explained that they aren't really IT advisers. Instead, they are employed by the nursing school department. He mentioned that the job is probably easier and the student adviser down there doesn't stay there for the whole time that the computer lab is open, yada, yada, yada. After his whole explanation (said all while slightly giggling to himself) of the job, he just looked at me with a smile on his face. More heat and more red on me. Stupid blood vessel dilation in response to embarrassment. They say blushing is supposed to be an endearing trait because it suggests that the person is honest and innocent.
Let's just talk about this for a second. I am in no mood to be messed with, belittled, or otherwise made uncomfortable. There is very little that I can handle in addition to the other tragedies that have occured in the two weeks since I've turned 20. I told y'all bad things happen on birthdays. Unfortunately, my birthdays have gone from specialty of the day being forgotten about when I was in elementary school, to being called into the principal's office (middle school), and now to a friend committing suicide (college). There were other scarring events mixed throughout, but these gems are the special few examples I can share today.
Yes, this whole foot-in-mouth awkwardness was brought on by me. One precipitating factor of this condition is having a big, fat pie-hole. It is ever present and always in overdrive for me. This is so beyond frustrating. No matter how many conversations I have with my IT boss, or how much I try to avoid talking, I always end up saying stupid things around him. Sometimes it is because I don't know what I am doing because I had no training for this job. Occasionally it is because words escape me on most days and so I cannot describe what I need to have happen with the computer or whatever is happening at that particular point. On most other occasions, it is just because I say stupid things at an above average rate for someone of my age, stature, and developmental stage.
So, for now, I have to figure out a way to get out of my head and keep my sanity for the next few weeks until school is done. Maybe then I can focus on grieving for my dead friend and perhaps get some much needed rest. I haven't had a full-on summer break without any schooling for about 1.75 years and I am extremely overdue.
Does anyone else feel any little bit of my pain? No, just me? That's cool. If y'all find a nice little rock for me to climb under, give me the coordinates because I am so over this season of my life. IT'S ONLY BEEN 2 STINKIN' WEEKS SINCE I TURNED 20!!!
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