Am I Back In Middle School?

Last night a couple of my friends and I went to a karaoke place. There were lots of college students and I've been planning events for weeks but nobody ever ends up actually going with me so all of the activities end up getting cancelled at the last minute because everyone back out. Well, okay guys. Whatever.

Just remember, Jersey bitched at me for hours about feeling like she always tried to organize fun activities and then she feels like everyone backs out. Guess who went to most of her activities except for 2-3. That's right... IT WAS ME!!! Also guess who tends to back out of events that I planned about 20 before or after she was already supposed to be meeting me/us somewhere. That's right... HER!!! Y'all are such good guessers!

Regardless, we had people who tried to guilt us into paying for them, but we didn't take the bait. Others had dates and other plans. That's totally okay and I'm glad that they are having fun. We made plans last minute because nobody goes to anything when I try to plan for the future so why put energy into planning? Anyway, out of about a dozen people invited, it ended up still being Roomie and Millie (from a post a few months ago). We had a blast! Well, I did and I think they had fun because we laughed for most of the night.

Over the course of the night, we started comparing notes about some strange events that have been occurring with a few of our friends. It turns out that I'm not the only one having the troubles I am having with the people I am frustrated with. I'm not as crazy as I thought I was!!!

Lots of exclamation points in this post, guys. These things are exciting for me.

Anyway, Roomie, knows the story of my fight with Jersey because she helped me with wording of texts when Jersey was "confronting" me about my "short" responses. She suggested that I ask Jersey to coffee to work things out in person instead of 1) ignoring it (as I tend to do often) or 2) try to work it out over emails or texts because there is such a high chance of having miscommunications and we cannot hear the inflections in each others voices.

I thought about this coffee idea because I am sick of class being uncomfortable and feeling like I am in middle school. However, after thinking it over and talking to Counselor about it, I've come to the conclusion that it would likely not help the situation. Jersey is a person who turns stories to make her seem like the victim. Then, she tells everyone she knows, so that she can get sympathy and hopefully get validated in her frustrations. Yes, I could have handled this whole situation differently. No, I am not upset that I stood up for myself. I'm not even upset I lost a "friend". I am upset, however, that class is uncomfortable and Beauty feels like she is stuck in the middle. I am losing Beauty because Jersey takes every moment of free time Beauty has because she is the only lifeline of a friend that Jersey has at this point.

Long story short, I am not going to go to coffee or reach out to Jersey. I was encouraged to be the "bigger person" but I don't feel like any of these things are going to enhance my quality of life at all.

Jersey has recently had problems with another one of our friends. Now, this friend is one I've had problems with for awhile because I am the first one she calls when she needs help, but I am the last one she talks to if I can do nothing for her. Let's name her... Lady. Now, Lady has been giving many of us snarky comments for awhile. It is difficult to determine if these comments are meant as sarcastic jokes or if she is really trying to be a bitch. Or, maybe she's not trying to be a bitch but it's just happening because nobody calls her out on anything. I don't know, whatever.

Jersey and Lady are in clinicals together and Lady got upset with Jersey because they were waiting in line for supplies and it wasn't moving fast enough. Jersey was behind another student with Lady at the end of the 3 person line. Lady started getting upset that the line was not moving fast enough. Jersey told her that it wouldn't take long and that it'll be okay. Apparently, Lady got more agitated and the two of them ended up exchanging words because Lady wanted to go home and was impatient with anyone standing in the way of that. Why did she need to be home? I have no idea.

Jersey ended up going to Millie at the end of the day and complaining that she was having the same problem with Lady as she was having with me. Millie told her that they were nothing alike because Millie knows the story behind Jersey and I.

Reason #9375 why I know that Jersey believes nothing is her fault and she is the victim of all of life's happenings. It doesn't matter if she goes off on someone first. If someone stands up for themselves against her, then it's an unwarranted attack on her and she deserves none of it.

I didn't go off on Jersey, I simply told her she hurt my feelings, she needs to go talk to Beauty if she is having problems with her instead of taking them out on me, and that I needed space to heal because she really hurt me. That is obviously an unwarranted attack on her and I had no right nor any trigger that could have possibly caused this "attack".

So, as I was sitting with Millie and Roomie last night talking about the shit that keeps happening in our group, and I suddenly felt lighter. I am not the only one having problems. Both of them and Jersey are having problems with Lady. Most people have problems with Jersey and that is why she has no friends and is clinging to Beauty. And I am not the only one who sees these problems!!! Praise the L-rd!



A few nights ago Millie, Lady, and Korie (another one of our friends who is very sweet), were all at my house studying for our test. Roomie has not seen the girls in months because she is in med/surg 4 while we are in Peds/OB, so we are on opposite semesters. That is why we planned to study at our apartment so that all of the girls could see Roomie and Roomie could help us study because she already had the classes we are taking.

Just as I had gotten home and I was waiting for everyone else to show up, I get a text from Lady saying her tire was flat. I called her and asked if she had anyone to help her with it. She said no and that she texted me because I was the only person she knew that knows how to change a flat. She was on campus and I'm certain she could have found someone to help her, but I was tired and my logical reasoning did not want to function. Therefore, I hopped in my car and made the 20 minute drive back to campus to help her. She called me about 5 minutes after I had left my apartment (for the 3rd time that day) and asked where I was. She knows full-well that I live 20 minutes away because she asked how long I thought I would be when I asked if she needed help!

I showed up and her tire wasn't even really flat. To make matters even better, as I got there it started snowing, the sun was gone, and I was grumpy. So, I checked to make sure she had at least some air and she did. I told her to just drive to a gas station and fill it up.

As I was getting back in my car after "discussing" the problem for about 15 minutes because she didn't believe that I didn't need to change her tire, two guys walked by her car, talked to her using her name, and told her she had a flat. For the love of Pete! Her rim was off the ground by a solid 2 inches. It definitely lost air, but it was by no means flat and losing air at the moment. Which means it is not a flat. Also, these guys could have helped her change the stupid thing and they were already on campus!

Whatever. I followed her to the gas station, as she requested, and I taught her how to fill up her tire with air. It was cold, windy, and beginning to snow. I was pissed that I made a useless trip. She continued to argue with me that she didn't have time to go get her tire fixed and she kept questioning if I knew it would be okay. Oh my gosh. If you don't believe what I'm telling you, then don't ask for my help for my advice. It's that simple. You are asking because you don't know the fucking answer. Take my answer or leave it, I don't care. But don't argue with me.

We ended up getting back to my place and everyone else had had to wait for us because they showed up right after I left, but Roomie wasn't home yet to be able to let them in. Everyone was frustrated with me because they had to wait, but they were understanding. I suggested we get something to eat. This was echoed and encouraged by Lady. Everyone, starting with Lady, proceeded to tell me they had no cash but that they would pay for me later. Okay, I can do that. Thinking back, Lady has told me this several times and I have yet to be paid back for a single time she asks for financial help. The other girls typically cover my next meal with them or buy me a drink. Lady does not pay any of us back.

When the rest of the girls had to go, Lady stayed behind for about a half an hour. I thought it was weird, I was still pissed but slightly buzzed from my study drink, and I wanted to go to bed. She kept sticking around, following me, and making small talk. I despise small talk. She ended up asking me a whole bunch of questions to try to get in my business, ending with "what happened between you and exfiance?"

Oh no you didn't! You did not just ask me for personal questions about my past that you have no need to actually know. Everyone knows you are a major gossip mill for the class and you twist stories the second you get a whiff of anything being potentially interesting. Between you and Jersey, we have about 93648549574839375 stories about everyone in the class being started at any one time. Y'all need to stop.

I ended up telling her that we just had a rough break up and that I didn't want to talk about it. She kept trying to pry and I refused to give her anything so she left after about 15 more minutes of trying to pry.

A couple days later, all of us girls were planning to go out. They chose a bar that exfiance loves to go to and I'm sure he goes there frequently just to see if I show up one night. I told them I would go, but if I saw his truck or saw him, that I would leave.

Millie was with Lady and Lady flipped out. She started saying that I was being unreasonable, dramatic, and that I'm ridiculous.

Millie told her that it's totally reasonable for me to warn them about this and that Lady doesn't know my story. Keep in mind, Millie doesn't know my story either, but Millie stands up for me without me even knowing about it. I didn't learn about this little exchange until last night.

Lady continued on that Millie should share my story and Lady said that whe can't help me or understand me if I don't share my story with her.

Millie replied that it was none of their business to know my story and that they need to respect that.

Lady flipped out again!

I am flabbergasted at the strength, kindness, and support that Millie, Beauty, and Roomie show for me that they don't even tell me about. I learned last night that both Millie and Roomie get frustrated when our other friends get frustrated with my weird behaviors since exboyfriend and exfiance. Apparently they've been sticking up for me and telling people off when they start rumors, or begin speaking poorly of me. These girls don't try to pry and they let me come to them with my story and burdens. Then, when I do tell them, THEY KEEP IT A SECRET!!! Because it is not their information to share and they understand how hard it is for me to live with it and also to share it.




So, am I back in middle school or what?