Well guys, I just finished my last final of nursing school. You wanna know something? I passed! That means I graduate on Friday and I have the opportunity to sit for the NCLEX to see if I get to be a registered nurse or not.
I thought it would be different. I thought I would be so excited, celebrating with my many friends, and I figured I would have a better plan. I thought this was supposed to be a happy affair.
Right now, I'm sitting in a coffee shop frustrated with my lack of support, my family split, my dreams of a family crushed, regret over my past (guys and friends) encompassing me, stress over legal matters drowning me, and I'm living in an RV with my mom because my roomie "kicked" me out a week and a half early. I'm overwhelmed at the amount of seemingly bad circumstances I have been faced with, still knowing that other people face worse lives than mine.
I "graduated" counseling yesterday. We call it that because I used to tell my counselor that I was graduating a bunch of things all at the same time so we might as well call it graduating from counseling too. She approved and thought it was cute. Well, I fell like after yesterday, I hit new rough waters and now I need her back. Finishing counseling is supposed to be a good thing, but now it left me feeling like I'm not actually ready to face life on my own again just yet. I guess I'll try it for a couple weeks/months and then decide if I need to find another counselor once I move.
Graduation is supposed to be a happy time, but you know what? It's okay if it's a little sad or frustrating for you. It's sad and frustrating for me too.
It's sad when you know it's probably one or two ppl who screw things up for you too. When your excitement could have been real if they would have just stayed out of your life! Ugh! I feel for you. Hang in there. Try not to cut, try to live, try to find thing to live for, remember the list of things you made before that you put on the blog - perhaps one of those is in order? I hope you turn the corner. I hope several good things fall in your lap before graduation so that it's not such a bummers. I hope it's a happy time for you. Hugs from all the way over here.
ReplyDeleteThank you Nurse Dee. Life is a struggle, but my coping is getting stronger by the day. You're a great encouragement to me and I so appreciate that!
ReplyDelete-BedpanAlley