Y'all remember the date I was going to go on? It ended up getting cancelled because of weather. The guy lives about an hour outside of town and his town was getting hammered with snow and the roads were really icy so we decided to postpone. My heart sunk a little when he texted me that but we ended up talking anyways, well, texting. I am really looking forward to going out with him and I hope he really is too. Besides the panic attacks and bad nervousness that is typically accompanying me, I am not normally one to get worked up or excited about boys. This guy, though. Let's just go over my schedule from the time he asked for my number until now.
We danced. He asked for my number. We danced again. We went to a party and DOMINATED beer pong (remember, I was cheating a little bit by not drinking...). I wait two painful days for him to text me and I worried the whole time that he didn't really think I would be worth the time or that he had forgotten me entirely. He finally texts. He asks me out for the next night. I clean house all day, scrubbing almost every inch of our apartment to keep my nerves at bay and to hopefully get it all ready for him to see it. Date got cancelled and my heart sunk. We texted back and forth for hours anyways and found a lot of common interests. He texted me again this morning and we talked for a solid three or four hours before I decided I needed to take a nap before work tonight. Now I'm waiting to get called into work and updating you on my life which was a lot more interesting from my vantage point before blogging it... I need to learn how to tell stories better.
This guy has me staying up for hours at night because I can't stop thinking about him and I keep waking up early. He's in my dreams and I keep replaying the times we danced and hung out even though it was super short-lived. Am I blowing this all out of proportion? Is he going to regret going out with me if/when he discovers he's not going to get a kiss from me unless we get hitched? Roommate's mom was talking him up the whole time I was at her house and I've heard so much about him. I distinctly remember he telling me that she approves of us dating (which is big because she's like family now) and that he would "treat me like a queen." He's pretty much the most wanted eligible bachelor in the three-town area he hangs out in. He's not scared of marriage and he was engaged for a while but they broke up this summer though I haven't heard why. He's giving me butterflies and I'm dreaming about him but can't decide if it's the idea of a sweet country boy liking me or if there is really something here. He's got a great job, he's fixin' to buy a house (in the town I have been dreaming of living in since I was little), and he seems really smart. He likes going to museums which I'm hoping means he likes learning. He likes going to antique stores and is planning on decorating his house with antiques which I think will require tremendous amounts of patience. He can fix a lot, from what I've gathered about his job as a mechanic/everything man. He grew up in the country, on a farm, and knows how to handle animals and crops. Plus, on top of everything else, I think he's pretty stinkin' cute.
This whole thing also brings up a lot of insecurities. Will he decide I'm not worth his time or money? Why did the engagement get broken? Will this make going to the town dances awkward if it doesn't work out? Will he pressure me to break my boundaries? Does he go to church? I know I can ask him that, but I just haven't yet because I'm scared of the answer.
Will I be enough?
I know you have read all this in a lot of my posts and I keep hoping and working to make these fears subside, even if just by a little bit. Will they ever even go away?
Showing posts with label weather. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weather. Show all posts
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Homecoming Weekend
This is my second post of the day because I had quite a busy weekend.
It started off freezing cold because apparently the place I live can't smoothly transition between seasons, it just kind of kicks in and out for awhile until people get used to it and then it starts changing again. So, we were supposed to go ride horses but ended up calling that off to stay home and bake some delicious zucchini bread and brownies. Dude, my roommate can bake and cook like a pro! Maybe I could learn how to cook well for my future husband (hopefully a cowboy but we'll see...)
Then we watched a movie. By we I mean her while I fell asleep on the couch because I had worked the night before. I got about 30 minutes in before my 12-year-old cousin came home from school. He lives across the street from her, but really he kinda lives at her house too because that kid is so social! My dad and his two brothers all got that social gene and passed it to their sons, but I got none of it. Seriously, I am about as social as a cactus.
Then it was time for the high school volleyball game! I miss playing volleyball even though I wasn't super great at it. This high school was the one my dad and his brothers went to. Well, technically, they tore his down a couple of years ago and built a new one, but some of his teachers still work there. It's weird going places that my dad and grandparents used to go and feeling that sense of past, but not actually being able to have that as my past too. Since I can't go back in time, I figure I will just live vicariously through my cousins and Roommate's cousins as they go through high school there. I can't experience everything, but I'm starting to get a taste of what my dad got to do.
Later we went to a bonfire and the football game was the next day. It was so fun! The more I go out there, the more jealous I get that I wasn't able to grow up out there where my cousins get to live and experience because they get the life that my grandparents and uncles got and especially what my dad got.
On the plus side, I got to chill with my two uncles a whole bunch this weekend and even got to drive on of my uncle's trucks in the town parade! Ya, it was pretty cool.
Just before coming back home to the city we had to go round up a steer that had gotten loose. He managed to get into a field with a a whole bunch of other cows and a bull. Dude, I tore my jeans-my only pair of jeans and they were actually really cute and sparkly on the pockets-climbing over the barbed wire, electric fence. Then we had to walk around the whole herd to get them into a smaller pen in order to then trailer the single steer because he was a little crazy and doesn't like doing anything alone. The bull I mentioned before was staring me down the whole time. My Roommate and her cousin warned me to try to run if he started charging at me, but that did little to calm my nerves at being sized up by a huge animal with loads of testosterone and a couple of horns! Due to the way guys work, we ended up working harder than we should have because they refused to listen to us girls and also did not fully think the whole plan through before implementing it. Needless to say, we finally got the steer separated and life went on.
Now I really want cattle. I wanted cattle before, but now I need them just like I now need horses and goats and sheep and chickens and every other type of animal I can get my hands on. Hopefully someday I can get some land, critters, and a cowboy who actually can teach me how to care for such animals. Until then, I will take all the exposure I can get with them. I pray I do not find myself on the business end of a bulls horns though, I don't need that much experience.
It started off freezing cold because apparently the place I live can't smoothly transition between seasons, it just kind of kicks in and out for awhile until people get used to it and then it starts changing again. So, we were supposed to go ride horses but ended up calling that off to stay home and bake some delicious zucchini bread and brownies. Dude, my roommate can bake and cook like a pro! Maybe I could learn how to cook well for my future husband (hopefully a cowboy but we'll see...)
Then we watched a movie. By we I mean her while I fell asleep on the couch because I had worked the night before. I got about 30 minutes in before my 12-year-old cousin came home from school. He lives across the street from her, but really he kinda lives at her house too because that kid is so social! My dad and his two brothers all got that social gene and passed it to their sons, but I got none of it. Seriously, I am about as social as a cactus.
Then it was time for the high school volleyball game! I miss playing volleyball even though I wasn't super great at it. This high school was the one my dad and his brothers went to. Well, technically, they tore his down a couple of years ago and built a new one, but some of his teachers still work there. It's weird going places that my dad and grandparents used to go and feeling that sense of past, but not actually being able to have that as my past too. Since I can't go back in time, I figure I will just live vicariously through my cousins and Roommate's cousins as they go through high school there. I can't experience everything, but I'm starting to get a taste of what my dad got to do.
Later we went to a bonfire and the football game was the next day. It was so fun! The more I go out there, the more jealous I get that I wasn't able to grow up out there where my cousins get to live and experience because they get the life that my grandparents and uncles got and especially what my dad got.
On the plus side, I got to chill with my two uncles a whole bunch this weekend and even got to drive on of my uncle's trucks in the town parade! Ya, it was pretty cool.
Just before coming back home to the city we had to go round up a steer that had gotten loose. He managed to get into a field with a a whole bunch of other cows and a bull. Dude, I tore my jeans-my only pair of jeans and they were actually really cute and sparkly on the pockets-climbing over the barbed wire, electric fence. Then we had to walk around the whole herd to get them into a smaller pen in order to then trailer the single steer because he was a little crazy and doesn't like doing anything alone. The bull I mentioned before was staring me down the whole time. My Roommate and her cousin warned me to try to run if he started charging at me, but that did little to calm my nerves at being sized up by a huge animal with loads of testosterone and a couple of horns! Due to the way guys work, we ended up working harder than we should have because they refused to listen to us girls and also did not fully think the whole plan through before implementing it. Needless to say, we finally got the steer separated and life went on.
Now I really want cattle. I wanted cattle before, but now I need them just like I now need horses and goats and sheep and chickens and every other type of animal I can get my hands on. Hopefully someday I can get some land, critters, and a cowboy who actually can teach me how to care for such animals. Until then, I will take all the exposure I can get with them. I pray I do not find myself on the business end of a bulls horns though, I don't need that much experience.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Dear Weather...
Dear weather,
I know you don't control yourself, G-d controls you, but let's just have a tiny little chat. I love snow, don't get me wrong, but it's May... So if we could just go back the the gorgeous weather we had a few days ago, that'd be great! I'm thinkin' some sun, maybe 70-75 degrees (Fahrenheit), and no wind but just the slightest breeze so it doesn't get too hot. Also, if it seems like some kind of precipitation has to happen, let's go for a 4 p.m. rainstorm that lasts a maximum of twenty minutes, then clears up to the sunny, warm summer nights I love so much.
You're a doll!
Sincerely,
BedpanAlley
I know you don't control yourself, G-d controls you, but let's just have a tiny little chat. I love snow, don't get me wrong, but it's May... So if we could just go back the the gorgeous weather we had a few days ago, that'd be great! I'm thinkin' some sun, maybe 70-75 degrees (Fahrenheit), and no wind but just the slightest breeze so it doesn't get too hot. Also, if it seems like some kind of precipitation has to happen, let's go for a 4 p.m. rainstorm that lasts a maximum of twenty minutes, then clears up to the sunny, warm summer nights I love so much.
You're a doll!
Sincerely,
BedpanAlley
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