I have been struggling with life. You guys know that... You read all of my mind's workings and tribulations. You sneak peaks into the difficulties I, unfortunately, continue to survive...
Well, this blog has gone from being about nursing school and nursing life, to one about my general life.
As such, and seeing as I don't deal with bedpans so much anymore, I have decided to rename the blog. I will now be Beauty from Ashes. [still BA, so that helps ;)]
Until next time, ladies and gents... I'll be online shopping for the foreseeable future.
***P.S.
I have attempted to change my address, but it seems to have already been taken and then also requested by another family. Long story, my address will continue to be bedpanalley.blogspot.com
Love,
BA
Showing posts with label BedpanAlley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BedpanAlley. Show all posts
Saturday, November 25, 2017
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Random Thoughts
It's 0230 and I'm home, but not able to sleep. This, combined with odd life circumstances and a naturally analytical mind, leave me with strange thoughts on a regular basis.
- The extent of which the domestic violence I survived is beginning to hit me from a more logical frame of reference instead of solely from the emotional garbage it laid on me.
- The mice that have taken up residence under my kitchen sink are fixin' to meet the Good L-rd if they don't take the bait in the live traps I set out so that I can transport them to another location still breathing...
- The screen name BedpanAlley doesn't really suit me anymore, seeing as I no longer deal with bedpans... so I need a new name.
- I want to change the way NICU and L&D cares work in the United States, but that's an awful big dream for one tiny little gal. Especially if said gal hopes to someday get married and potentially have children (though that seems improbable and dangerous).
- I need to find a church, but that leads me to try to find a church with a single's group. However, my motives for finding a single's group is less honorable than they should be, because I want a fella. Several problems with this: 1) church should be to learn about G-d, not to find some boy 2) I just tried to "talk" with a boy in hopes of eventually dating and learned I am so far from being ready to date that it's not even funny 3) I still have to wrestle with some shit before dating is even on my radar.
- I need friends to hang out with. While Dog is digging the amount of time I spend at home, she is less thrilled with the fact that I sleep about 18 hours a day. Before you say anything, yes, I know this is unhealthy and I'm working on changing it. She and I went for a "run" today and I made it out of the house before noon!
- My last shift of orientation is tonight. Just let that sink in.
- I wonder how my folks are really doing. I've called them nearly 4 times each this week, but they always make it sound as if they are fine.
- I miss Brother, but he won't talk to me.
- My week is fixin' to become overloaded with extra days they will ask me to work. Knowing me, and how much I would love the overtime pay, I will likely work a bunch of the extra shifts. I'm saving for a car, massage, mani/pedi, trip to a fancy resort in Home State with mom, general savings account, and student loan repayment
- I have mice living in my house. They didn't ask permission and they sure as hell aren't paying rent! Maybe I should get a cat? But Dog tries to eat cats because they look and move like squirrels... Plus I'm allergic to cats and they pee everywhere. *sigh*
- ... Oh, and I think my washing machine broke.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
It's that time of year again
Do y'all know what I'm talking about? Tomorrows my birthday. In fact, it's my 21st birthday. Which, in the United States, means I will be legal to drink!
21 seems silly. When my parents were growing up, they could go to the bar at 18. They were in high school! Plus, it's not like alcohol isn't available before then...
Anywho, I have clinicals tomorrow (Thursday) and Friday so my friends and I are making work arounds and making my birthDAY more of a birthWEEK/birthMONTH because Passover also starts on Friday. That means I am going to have a frickin' crazy weekend. Let me just paint you a picture, shall I?
Wednesday: Stay up and go out at midnight? We'll see because I still have to go write careplans and get a little sleep before clinicals and I worked last night.
Thursday: Clinicals, more careplans, go help Boyfriend feed cows (yay!), and then birthday dinner with darn near everyone of my friends, my boyfriend, and possibly my brother/his friends. Good heavens!
Friday: Clinicals, shower/nap?, then go out to a local country bar with everyone I can talk into coming with us.
Saturday: Sleep in... a little, go to Parent's house with Brother for family Seder for Passover and come back home. That's a solid hour/hour and a half both ways. Oh but I love Passover and this year, I get to bring the wine!!!
Sunday: Easter brunch with Boyfriend and his huge family. A couple hours rest, then he and I are going back up to Parent's city to go to mom's congregation's seder with hundreds of people so that Boyfriend can see my culture.
That's a 4-5 day set of crazy and no rest before school starts again crazy on Monday. Oh, and I got a billion assignments assigned yesterday. So, I'm back on my meds...
Breathe BedpanAlley, just breathe.
Have I mentioned I hate birthdays? Oh, it's a passion of mine. This birthday will make it easier to go out with friends but I just don't like getting older and not feeling like I've accomplished anything in the last year of my life besides minor survival, and not good survival at that. It's more of a barely made it through to this anniversary of the evacuation of my mother's uterus instead of thriving like I should be in my 20's, especially the first year of my 20's.
I'm working on being positive. Well, some days I am. Today is not one of those days.
Meanwhile, I survived March and Country Boy's suicide anniversary and the following day with minimal tears. April 11 would have been his 21st birthday. I'm not looking forward to that day. It's on a Saturday and I'm almost certain I may be drinking alone that night or trying to go out to get my mind off of it. We'll see.
I better get going to write my careplans so I can get this "weekend" started! Goodbye for now dear readers.
21 seems silly. When my parents were growing up, they could go to the bar at 18. They were in high school! Plus, it's not like alcohol isn't available before then...
Anywho, I have clinicals tomorrow (Thursday) and Friday so my friends and I are making work arounds and making my birthDAY more of a birthWEEK/birthMONTH because Passover also starts on Friday. That means I am going to have a frickin' crazy weekend. Let me just paint you a picture, shall I?
Wednesday: Stay up and go out at midnight? We'll see because I still have to go write careplans and get a little sleep before clinicals and I worked last night.
Thursday: Clinicals, more careplans, go help Boyfriend feed cows (yay!), and then birthday dinner with darn near everyone of my friends, my boyfriend, and possibly my brother/his friends. Good heavens!
Friday: Clinicals, shower/nap?, then go out to a local country bar with everyone I can talk into coming with us.
Saturday: Sleep in... a little, go to Parent's house with Brother for family Seder for Passover and come back home. That's a solid hour/hour and a half both ways. Oh but I love Passover and this year, I get to bring the wine!!!
Sunday: Easter brunch with Boyfriend and his huge family. A couple hours rest, then he and I are going back up to Parent's city to go to mom's congregation's seder with hundreds of people so that Boyfriend can see my culture.
That's a 4-5 day set of crazy and no rest before school starts again crazy on Monday. Oh, and I got a billion assignments assigned yesterday. So, I'm back on my meds...
Breathe BedpanAlley, just breathe.
Have I mentioned I hate birthdays? Oh, it's a passion of mine. This birthday will make it easier to go out with friends but I just don't like getting older and not feeling like I've accomplished anything in the last year of my life besides minor survival, and not good survival at that. It's more of a barely made it through to this anniversary of the evacuation of my mother's uterus instead of thriving like I should be in my 20's, especially the first year of my 20's.
I'm working on being positive. Well, some days I am. Today is not one of those days.
Meanwhile, I survived March and Country Boy's suicide anniversary and the following day with minimal tears. April 11 would have been his 21st birthday. I'm not looking forward to that day. It's on a Saturday and I'm almost certain I may be drinking alone that night or trying to go out to get my mind off of it. We'll see.
I better get going to write my careplans so I can get this "weekend" started! Goodbye for now dear readers.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Flat Tire Services
New announcement y'all: BedpanAlley is starting a tire changing business!!!
It turns out that I am super great at changing flat tires. I've done it TWICE this week alone! What is up with all my friends getting flat tires? I love changing them and I really love being the one that is called in cases of "emergency" regardless of how bad it may actually be but dang. Are people dropping mass amounts of nails out of the backs of semi's? Are there tack strips being laid out? What's the deal?
Anyway, I feel super cool that I know how to do it and guys stop by to ask if I need help but I get to tell them I've got it. I'm sort of a feminist if you haven't caught that yet, so being able to be independent in every possible way is important to me. Well, if they were my age then I may just let them take over, but they're usually my dad's age.
Service list with prices to come soon...
It turns out that I am super great at changing flat tires. I've done it TWICE this week alone! What is up with all my friends getting flat tires? I love changing them and I really love being the one that is called in cases of "emergency" regardless of how bad it may actually be but dang. Are people dropping mass amounts of nails out of the backs of semi's? Are there tack strips being laid out? What's the deal?
Anyway, I feel super cool that I know how to do it and guys stop by to ask if I need help but I get to tell them I've got it. I'm sort of a feminist if you haven't caught that yet, so being able to be independent in every possible way is important to me. Well, if they were my age then I may just let them take over, but they're usually my dad's age.
Service list with prices to come soon...
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Tech Support, this is BedpanAlley...
I got to work in one of our academic buildings today after my shift in the library because someone was sick. Guys, I LOVED it! Let's start off by mentioning that I opened as IT support in the library this morning. We had a power surge a few hours after opening and that causes a surprising amount of problems for computers and technology campus-wide. In the library I had a lot of trouble shooting and I thought I broke one of the printers that cost a billion dollars (I'm exaggerating here). It turns out that I didn't, it just needed to be shown who is boss. Well, I just restarted it... After that shift, I went over to our main IT help desk in one of the nearby academic buildings. They were still fixing a lot of problems by the time I left at 4:30 p.m. However, I learned a ton and I got a walkie talkie over there. I missed having a radio from my cashiering job, they really are fun and convenient.
So, my day went really well and I like my boss even more because every time I would ask a question over the radio, he would meet me there without even asking for his help just to make sure that I had help should I need it. He is super nice, nicer than any of my bosses from any previous job. Well, that's not counting the lady I babysit for, or any of the families I have babysat for really because I love them all like they were my own family. I hope I get more training in that IT position so that I can be there next semester. That's how they usually do it, but I just get so excited for it to actually come and I get so excited to learn all this new, great stuff. After days like today, I feel so much smarter but I also realize how much I didn't know and how much there still is to learn. Perhaps someday I can be one of the student managers. Until then, I am content working in the slow-paced library and learning little baby bits over time because if I had many more days like today, my brain may explode from the huge increase in knowledge from class and from work!
That brings me to something I discovered today: I am really strange to those just getting to know me. I had heard it before but never understood the magnitude of my strangeness before today. My boss' wife is a NICU nurse at a local hospital that I had a CNA position offer for so he knows some of the nursing stuff, not much, but a little I think. He asked me how classes were and, being the crazy person that I am, I started telling him about how much fun I had reconstituting the fake powdered medicine in one of my classes and also went on about how I love playing with needles and vials of "medicine." My coworker was also in on the conversation and those two guys just smiled and looked at me like I needed to be locked up and given huge amounts of crazy pills. Maybe it's because my face lights up and I start talking really fast because I'm excited about it, or maybe it's the fact that I told them I love playing with needles. I don't know. I do know, however, that I get this look a lot. I can't help it that I share stuff that excited me about school and I want people to share what they are excited about too. I love when things finally pertain to my career choice and I think it's neat that I can love going to class because of the little things like this that make my week. Perhaps I do need to keep the fact that I love needles on the DL, but for right now, I just can't manage keeping that inside. I bet telling them that I get my blood drawn just to watch the needle go into my arm and to see the blood that used to be inside of me was most likely a tad much. But hey, at least I'm genuine, honest, and excited to be going into nursing. I don't want to be a nurse for the money, 3 work days a week, or for the ability to travel the country for a huge increase in pay. No, I want to be a nurse to care for the sick, injured, and dying in order to help them through this stage in their life with as much dignity and comfort as possible. I want to be a way for G-d's healing and love to reach those who are hurting and in need.
Daily Thanksgiving: I got training for one of the higher IT level positions. I learned a ton and had really nice teachers that called me for help and were patient when I didn't know what to do. I was paired with an amazing student manager who is a great teacher and explained everything with great amounts of grace and patience. (Are you noticing a pattern with the patience?) G-d revealed to me that I am crazy, but it's a good kind of crazy that will give me the purpose I need to continue on as a nurse. I have amazing bosses at my new IT job! That's a big one with me. My mom is also coming down tomorrow for a quick little visit before I go to my doctor's appointment tomorrow (more on that later.) We are getting so much rain here it's not even funny. I love the rain though! However, we had several fires this year and a few last year which is causing a lot of problems now that it is raining. So, if we could get prayer that no more people be killed and that no damage is done to the houses in the burn scars, that would be great!
BTW, the title is how we answer the phone. I know I wouldn't have known that so I'm just trying to help you guys out. :)
So, my day went really well and I like my boss even more because every time I would ask a question over the radio, he would meet me there without even asking for his help just to make sure that I had help should I need it. He is super nice, nicer than any of my bosses from any previous job. Well, that's not counting the lady I babysit for, or any of the families I have babysat for really because I love them all like they were my own family. I hope I get more training in that IT position so that I can be there next semester. That's how they usually do it, but I just get so excited for it to actually come and I get so excited to learn all this new, great stuff. After days like today, I feel so much smarter but I also realize how much I didn't know and how much there still is to learn. Perhaps someday I can be one of the student managers. Until then, I am content working in the slow-paced library and learning little baby bits over time because if I had many more days like today, my brain may explode from the huge increase in knowledge from class and from work!
That brings me to something I discovered today: I am really strange to those just getting to know me. I had heard it before but never understood the magnitude of my strangeness before today. My boss' wife is a NICU nurse at a local hospital that I had a CNA position offer for so he knows some of the nursing stuff, not much, but a little I think. He asked me how classes were and, being the crazy person that I am, I started telling him about how much fun I had reconstituting the fake powdered medicine in one of my classes and also went on about how I love playing with needles and vials of "medicine." My coworker was also in on the conversation and those two guys just smiled and looked at me like I needed to be locked up and given huge amounts of crazy pills. Maybe it's because my face lights up and I start talking really fast because I'm excited about it, or maybe it's the fact that I told them I love playing with needles. I don't know. I do know, however, that I get this look a lot. I can't help it that I share stuff that excited me about school and I want people to share what they are excited about too. I love when things finally pertain to my career choice and I think it's neat that I can love going to class because of the little things like this that make my week. Perhaps I do need to keep the fact that I love needles on the DL, but for right now, I just can't manage keeping that inside. I bet telling them that I get my blood drawn just to watch the needle go into my arm and to see the blood that used to be inside of me was most likely a tad much. But hey, at least I'm genuine, honest, and excited to be going into nursing. I don't want to be a nurse for the money, 3 work days a week, or for the ability to travel the country for a huge increase in pay. No, I want to be a nurse to care for the sick, injured, and dying in order to help them through this stage in their life with as much dignity and comfort as possible. I want to be a way for G-d's healing and love to reach those who are hurting and in need.
Daily Thanksgiving: I got training for one of the higher IT level positions. I learned a ton and had really nice teachers that called me for help and were patient when I didn't know what to do. I was paired with an amazing student manager who is a great teacher and explained everything with great amounts of grace and patience. (Are you noticing a pattern with the patience?) G-d revealed to me that I am crazy, but it's a good kind of crazy that will give me the purpose I need to continue on as a nurse. I have amazing bosses at my new IT job! That's a big one with me. My mom is also coming down tomorrow for a quick little visit before I go to my doctor's appointment tomorrow (more on that later.) We are getting so much rain here it's not even funny. I love the rain though! However, we had several fires this year and a few last year which is causing a lot of problems now that it is raining. So, if we could get prayer that no more people be killed and that no damage is done to the houses in the burn scars, that would be great!
BTW, the title is how we answer the phone. I know I wouldn't have known that so I'm just trying to help you guys out. :)
Monday, May 13, 2013
800 Pageviews!
Thanks guys for 800!!! Shout out to the UK; Germany; Denver, Colorado; Los Angeles California; Colorado Springs, Colorado; and my biggest viewing country... RUSSIA! I hope everyone is doing well. I appreciate you guys logging in an reading, really I do.
Love,
BedpanAlley
P.S.
Feel free to comment and talk with me. I would love to get to know y'all!
P.P.S.
I'll probably stop announcing every 100 views once it reaches 1,000. But it still makes me really happy to see y'all making the number grow so fast.
Love,
BedpanAlley
P.S.
Feel free to comment and talk with me. I would love to get to know y'all!
P.P.S.
I'll probably stop announcing every 100 views once it reaches 1,000. But it still makes me really happy to see y'all making the number grow so fast.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Y'all Made My Day!
Wow, 700 views!!! Thank you guys for reading, it makes me happy to know someone is out there.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Dear Weather...
Dear weather,
I know you don't control yourself, G-d controls you, but let's just have a tiny little chat. I love snow, don't get me wrong, but it's May... So if we could just go back the the gorgeous weather we had a few days ago, that'd be great! I'm thinkin' some sun, maybe 70-75 degrees (Fahrenheit), and no wind but just the slightest breeze so it doesn't get too hot. Also, if it seems like some kind of precipitation has to happen, let's go for a 4 p.m. rainstorm that lasts a maximum of twenty minutes, then clears up to the sunny, warm summer nights I love so much.
You're a doll!
Sincerely,
BedpanAlley
I know you don't control yourself, G-d controls you, but let's just have a tiny little chat. I love snow, don't get me wrong, but it's May... So if we could just go back the the gorgeous weather we had a few days ago, that'd be great! I'm thinkin' some sun, maybe 70-75 degrees (Fahrenheit), and no wind but just the slightest breeze so it doesn't get too hot. Also, if it seems like some kind of precipitation has to happen, let's go for a 4 p.m. rainstorm that lasts a maximum of twenty minutes, then clears up to the sunny, warm summer nights I love so much.
You're a doll!
Sincerely,
BedpanAlley
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Hey everyone! I made a Twitter. I have a feeling it will be dangerous for me to have such a thing, but I need some kind of outlet for the random stuff I am thinking all day. Follow me @BedpanAlley if you are on Twitter too!!!
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