As I've recently mentioned, I am now working in the hospital! Actually, I'm in a float pool between a few hospitals and I work primarily as a patient sitter.
I like this new job. Actually, I was scared about it because when I first got my CNA job in the long term are facility, life SUCKED! Oh man, they hazed me and I had to get used to patients with sun-downers and dementia and all sorts of other nuances that come with elderly care. This new job, however, allows me to typically focus on just one patient. Occasionally, I have multiple patients, but still it is never really more than 4-5.
Last night I was in charge of two patients. Both were conked out pretty hard because they had busy days and a few nights of hardly any sleep preceeding that. Yay! That means loads of time to read. Seriously, have I mentioned how much I love this job? On top of all that I get a differential for being float pool, a differential for working over night, and holiday pay of time and a half. Dude, is this for real?!
Anywho, last night was fine. I had to sit in the hall between both patient's rooms and there was another cluster of three patients requiring another sitter directly next to mine. Super! I got to have company all night long. We were talking most of the night when we started to hear some odd noises in one of the patient rooms. Neither of us were assigned to that particular room, but it just happened to be in our territory. We ignored the sounds because it didn't sound like the pt was in pain or scared or needed anything. As time went on, however, we started hearing grunts. They got louder and some groans were mixed in. Sheets were heard rustling and the patient got louder and louder. My CNA buddy and I peeked in and the patient was (in her words) "jerking off"!!! Oh my goodness! He knew we were outside the door because he called to us periodically throughout our shift for water or help going to the bathroom or what-have-you.
I wish I could un-hear that whole thing. My innocence is being stolen from me and I can't do anything to prevent it. I can't get it back and I seriously think I'm scarred from this whole experience.
Yikes. Well, at least I have not yet encountered patients any more physically intimate than just making out (they were dementia patients). Good news, though, I had some serious comic relief last night after I got over the initial shock and laughed so ridiculously hard for about 10 minutes I was crying. Plus, I now have all sorts of fun stories and memories to make me laugh for a lifetime and I've only been a CNA for a year and a half. Just wait until I've been a nurse for my whole life!
Showing posts with label yikes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yikes. Show all posts
Friday, July 4, 2014
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Loose Interpretations
I've been looking on Craigslist for potential roommates because that seemed like a good idea and I have noticed that people have different interpretations of just about everything.
"Huge room with view!" Translation: the bedroom is about 2 inches squared using a generous measuring system and it overlooks the neighbors window.
"Nice house with BRAND NEW appliances." Translation: nothing has been changed since the 1800's and the house could collapse on top of you while you're sleeping.
"Nice neighborhood." Translation: it's in a part of town that even cops refuse to visit.
No, it was not my idea to look for a roomie on CL. I know that it is all sorts of bad ideas because there is no real way to know them and there are murderers and other people waiting to do unsavory things to the poor people that fall into their traps. My friend talked me into it. Let's call her Big Red because she is the tiniest petite little lady I've ever met, but she has red hair. Anyway, that's what she and I did during class this week when my teacher decided to call on me TWICE during the class time. I had no idea what she was asking or what we were doing but I survived. I'm getting better at pretending that I know what I'm doing even though I hardly ever have a clue.
I turned in my letter stating I will be leaving my apartment when my lease is up. That's pretty scary because I have nowhere that I am planning to go, yet... Oh L-rd, I trust You and I REALLY need a place to live with good roommates that won't make life miserable and preferably a lot of space. It would be fantastic if they decided that they liked me and we could be buddies. That would be a miracle. I believe miracles happen and I desperately need several of them... simultaneously... pronto.
G-d doesn't move on our time frames. He's not our genie or Santa Clause or our servant. It's a good thing He isn't because life would be awful and the World would be a huge mess with everyone getting everything they ever wanted whenever they wanted it. Can you imagine? Yikes.
"Huge room with view!" Translation: the bedroom is about 2 inches squared using a generous measuring system and it overlooks the neighbors window.
"Nice house with BRAND NEW appliances." Translation: nothing has been changed since the 1800's and the house could collapse on top of you while you're sleeping.
"Nice neighborhood." Translation: it's in a part of town that even cops refuse to visit.
No, it was not my idea to look for a roomie on CL. I know that it is all sorts of bad ideas because there is no real way to know them and there are murderers and other people waiting to do unsavory things to the poor people that fall into their traps. My friend talked me into it. Let's call her Big Red because she is the tiniest petite little lady I've ever met, but she has red hair. Anyway, that's what she and I did during class this week when my teacher decided to call on me TWICE during the class time. I had no idea what she was asking or what we were doing but I survived. I'm getting better at pretending that I know what I'm doing even though I hardly ever have a clue.
I turned in my letter stating I will be leaving my apartment when my lease is up. That's pretty scary because I have nowhere that I am planning to go, yet... Oh L-rd, I trust You and I REALLY need a place to live with good roommates that won't make life miserable and preferably a lot of space. It would be fantastic if they decided that they liked me and we could be buddies. That would be a miracle. I believe miracles happen and I desperately need several of them... simultaneously... pronto.
G-d doesn't move on our time frames. He's not our genie or Santa Clause or our servant. It's a good thing He isn't because life would be awful and the World would be a huge mess with everyone getting everything they ever wanted whenever they wanted it. Can you imagine? Yikes.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Are you kidding me?
I was having a great day... then decided to see what my Bikini Body Mommy is for the day. Hahahahahahahahah seriously!?! It's copied below. I'm thinking that I will struggle to get through one rep and she wants me to do 3? I seriously bust out into hearty laughter once I read this. Awww man.
"On to DAY 2: Today’s Workout is a DOOZY!
"There are 8 exercises and we will do 3 sets of them!
Here they are:
1. Speed Squats – 20 reps, then 20 sec rest
2. Elbow Plank – 30 sec hold, then 10 sec rest
3. Push ups – 20 reps, then 10 sec rest
4. Burpees – 10 reps, then 10 sec rest
5. Alternating Lunges – 20 reps (10 per side), then 10 sec rest
6. Elbow Plank – 30 sec hold, then 10 sec rest
7. Tricep Dips – 20 reps, then 10 sec rest
8. Squat Jumps – 20 reps, then 2 MINUTE REST
REPEAT the above series for a total of 3 sets."
"On to DAY 2: Today’s Workout is a DOOZY!
"There are 8 exercises and we will do 3 sets of them!
Here they are:
1. Speed Squats – 20 reps, then 20 sec rest
2. Elbow Plank – 30 sec hold, then 10 sec rest
3. Push ups – 20 reps, then 10 sec rest
4. Burpees – 10 reps, then 10 sec rest
5. Alternating Lunges – 20 reps (10 per side), then 10 sec rest
6. Elbow Plank – 30 sec hold, then 10 sec rest
7. Tricep Dips – 20 reps, then 10 sec rest
8. Squat Jumps – 20 reps, then 2 MINUTE REST
REPEAT the above series for a total of 3 sets."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)