A Little Exciting News

So, in the midst of what feels like a continual life storm at this point... I have a few points of good news!

1) I fixed my dryer yesterday. All by myself! I woke up Friday, trying to throw my scrub pants into the dryer really quick because I had washed them for work. Well, the dryer was sounding like it was working, but it was not tumbling. Great. I proceeded to dry my pants, with a hair dryer, and went to work with wet pants. Have you ever done that? Oh my gosh, wet pants are AWFUL!!!

Oh well, I called my dad on Saturday, told him what was going on and that I thought the belt had broken. He agreed that's what it sounded like. So, I took my dryer apart Sunday in hopes that I would fix it and not make it worse. Turns out the belt had simply slipped off the tension spring instead of breaking completely. Praise the L-rd!

2) I took care of 2 babies successfully, mostly on my own, for two days now! I was really struggling because i had 2 days of feeling like I had just been put through the wringer and criticized for everything even though I had gotten no instruction on how to do things... That was frustrating. Well, whatever. I shook it off and went back for another day. Friday and today (Monday) ended up turning out really well! I know two babies don't sound like much, but I'm finally getting to the point where I forget less and less during my assessments and during the day. I'm beginning to remember the various nuances and strange rules that occur in the NICU. And I am starting to find my newbie groove while simultaneously keeping most poop and urine off of the baby's bedding. Yay! (Guys, I had an incident involving projectile shit in an isolette. Add in a flailing baby and you can just imagine the art work created. While walking away from that baby's room about 30 minutes after the incident, I found a lovely, long, brown streak going down the length of my forearm. *sigh* The struggle.

3) Last, but not least, I PASSED THE NCLEX!!! Do y'all know what that means? That means I am a Real/Registered/Redneck Nurse. In case you missed it, that is three was to define the term of R.N. and they ALL describe me! I'm now a Real Nurse (maybe a baby or adolescent nurse, but I'm a real nurse), I am a Registered Nurse (of course, that's what the hospital and Board of Nursing call me), and I'm also a Redneck Nurse (as described my my nursing class and those who know me best). Guys, I am so very glad and excited to be done!

As you may know, I've been working as a graduate nurse and have been signing my name at work (as necessary) as BedpanAlley, GN. Well, today I got to sign it BedpanAlley, RN! AND I got a new badge changing the GN to RN!!! So, so, so excited and relieved.



Well, seeing as I have to go to work again tomorrow, which means I get up at 0430 (unless I want to smell good which means I need to wake up at 0400...). Anyway, I better hit the hay. As it is, I'll be getting maybe 5 hours of sleep.

Goodnight y'all!
BedpanAlley, RN, BSN

Life Update

Man alive my life has been crazy busy lately! So, let's hit a few highlights.

1. Boyfriend finally signed on his house after having to be postponed weekly for about 2-3 months. So I went out to help him clean and paint but I didn't really help him, I just talked while he worked.
2. My med/surg clinicals are going okay. I failed a careplan because I didn't do my care map... ugh! That clinical day was ridiculous. I made careplans for 2 patients and I lost both by 1100 that day. So ridiculous! I lost one because the primary RN for that patient was being a preceptor for a new nurse and couldn't handle 2 students on top of that, which I understand. Then I lost the other one because he got discharged. So then I get to do two extra care maps on two brand new patients and I get to pass meds that I have no idea what they do because I didn't do a full caremap/medication chart for them. There were more frustrating things and I went through the entire day fully flustered, but I can't remember them right now because I have tried to block that day from my memory.
3. Roommate may/may not be upset with me. Between my long day of classes (8-4:30) on Tuesday, my late nights at the hospital doing careplans on Wednesdays (noon-6ish and then up until midnight to finish them), and my clinicals Thursday/Friday, I hardly see her anymore! Then she goes to her mom's on the weekends and I hang out with Boyfriend when she's gone. I sure hope I didn't upset her, and I try to invite her to stuff when Boyfriend and I do stuff or sometimes I invite her to stuff with her and I and maybe some other buddies of ours (without Boyfriend) but our friendship just feels a little on the rocks. I've asked her if it makes her uncomfortable when he's here but she says it's okay. I don't know, I miss her though!
4. Brother got a new job!... at a hookah place. Mom knows about it, dad doesn't know where he works, he just knows that Brother got a new job. So that might be a fun conversation to watch! Knowing Brother though, it probably won't be much of show because Mom didn't get upset with him when he told her he was smoking pot and none of his big news that it supposed to produce entertainment for me does! It's a real bummer!
5. Dad also got a new job! He had been self-employed for 20-25 years and he's been struggling with that for a very long time. He showed up at his buddy's place of employment one day to talk to the boss and he was hired right away! His buddy had been talking him up for months and the boss believed him so much that he didn't even require training for Dad, he just put him in a truck and let him go! Dad is so excited and happy all the time, I don't know that I've ever seen him so excited for anything. Plus, all of the ladies in the office and his fellow employees love him and think he is just the coolest thing since sliced bread and he has exceeded their expectations from what his buddy told them. That is hard to do ever, but especially in trucking! He now gets benefits, over-time, a regular paycheck that he doesn't have to track people down to get paid, and he's not so hard on his body as he was when he was a welder/fabricator/mechanic. I'm just as happy as a pig in mud about that! And he is too!
6. Dad gets two bullet points because G-d has answered so many prayers about him for me. It's taken years of praying, like, since I was a little kid and learned to pray. He's quit smoking, started working on his marriage with my mom, he got a job, he's happier, and he's understanding the beauty of Sabbath. My heart is just so full it could burst!
7. Mom called me and told me dad was acting weird. He had gone out to a fast food place and had to go in because they don't have a drive-through. Dad doesn't go to fast food without a drive through because he does not like talking to people and he feels like he's being stared at and judged (which I fully understand), because it's part of social phobia (which I have, which is why I understand). Anyway, he went in and called Mom to see if she wanted anything. That doesn't happen either! They've both been in a marriage but acting independently for several years. They were married at the end of the month that I was born, about three weeks after I entered the world, and they did the whole co-dependent marriage relationship thing for awhile. Then, slowly, they started doing their own laundry, sometimes making their own supper at night, etc. They are still married, still live together, still share the same bed, but they were not fully a team. So the fact that dad asked if he could bring her something home was a big deal because that had not been done in several years. So she explained all this to me and then said he had done dishes for her (also not done in a long time) and he was calling just to see how she was doing, etc. I laughed because to me, it sounded like he was doing the Love Dare from the movie Fireproof. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that he may be doing it or at least just trying to be sweeter to her. She told me she had been a little ornery to him and I told her to be nice because I thought he was doing the Love Dare and that I had prayed for them to get closer in their marriage for a long time. I think she may have started crying because her voice changed like it does when she cries (she cries when she's happy, sad, confused, at dog commercials, EVERYTHING!). That was all a few weeks ago. As far as I know, their communication is increasing/improving and they are both being nicer to each other and hopefully getting closer with each other. Another reason my heart is getting fuller and fixin' to burst!
8. All the nursing stuff I though I lost through my semester of Mental Health is not lost at all! I am really loving med/surg because I am understanding things that were difficult before and I feel like an actual nurse! I keep impressing my clinical instructor, when she least expects it, and I'm able to shout out answers in lab that nobody else knows because I seem to be decent at this nursing thing! Even nursing for adults!!!

Big News!

So, New Fella has a new name... Boyfriend. Yep, he went and met my parents and we made it official. He was fan-girling the whole first 45 minutes on our ride home from the Parent's and could not stop talking about my dad! Seriously, I am quite convinced that if I weren't here he would have been asking my dad out instead of me. Haha, I told my dad about that and his first response was "well, I just got a hair cut so I'm pertier than I was when I med him (previous day)!"

Then I kissed him Saturday...

I told him I was going to wait until my wedding day. He was concerned about that but he agreed to wait. Then we were on our "Valentine's Day" date a week early this past Saturday and I don't know how it happened but I kissed him. You guys know how gung-ho I was about waiting until marriage for kissing, but I already messed it up. The sex thing will definitely be waiting for marriage and he absolutely agreed to that, but I did tell him I was thinking about changing my kissing policy so he was better okay with that. I had a couple shots the night before and told him that if he was there I would have probably kissed him then but he told me he wouldn't have let me because he wanted me sober for my very first kiss. So, it is what it is and I'm hoping that if current Boyfriend is not my future husband that my future husband won't be too disappointed because I already feel a little guilty. But I also feel bad for not being completely upset about already kissing Boyfriend... It's quite a conundrum.

Sweeter than Sweet Tea

I finally made it through my first real date! We were going to go bowling but we ended up doing that a few days early when he ended up being in town with his buddies and we made an impromptu trip because I was too young to be in the pool hall they were in when I showed up to hang out with him...

Instead, we decided to go hit up the local antique store. He is in the process of buying a house and he loves antique stuff because he really enjoys history. So fun! It took us about 2 hours to walk through the store. Then we decided we were hungry and he tried to take me out for a steak. Ha! I shot that idea down real quick and then he suggested Chick-fil-a. How did he know that was my favorite fast food place? I have no clue because I never told him! Anyway, we went there and then went to walk around a really fancy hotel nearby. That probably took another hour and a half/two hours. We talked about all the hard, scary stuff as we walked around outside with the lights still up on the trees from the holidays. He grabbed my hand and I felt really comfortable around him. He was really sweet when I told him no kisses. He told me he respected that and kind of dug into my reasoning behind it but respected my choice and still wants to hang out with me! Who knew?

I told my parents about the date and then they started probing about him. When I told them he was buying a house they both said that it sounded like he "has his sh*t together." Haha, both of them said that and I talked to them separately on the phone and they didn't hear each other's conversations with me. (Please forgive the language but I was trying to convey the full weight of my patent's approval and could find no other way than to just quote them and try to make it a little safer.)

This guy is really sweet though and he even asked if he needed my dad's permission before we start the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. YES!!! That's what I was going for with Best Friend but he didn't understand what old school actually means, this new guy does. I still don't know what to call him but hopefully I'll find a name soon!

I just got a cold a couple of days ago so I'm going to go back to resting. Thank you for celebrating this exciting new phase in my life with me!

Joys of Night Shift

As I've recently mentioned, I am now working in the hospital! Actually, I'm in a float pool between a few hospitals and I work primarily as a patient sitter.

I like this new job. Actually, I was scared about it because when I first got my CNA job in the long term are facility, life SUCKED! Oh man, they hazed me and I had to get used to patients with sun-downers and dementia and all sorts of other nuances that come with elderly care. This new job, however, allows me to typically focus on just one patient. Occasionally, I have multiple patients, but still it is never really more than 4-5.

Last night I was in charge of two patients. Both were conked out pretty hard because they had busy days and a few nights of hardly any sleep preceeding that. Yay! That means loads of time to read. Seriously, have I mentioned how much I love this job? On top of all that I get a differential for being float pool, a differential for working over night, and holiday pay of time and a half. Dude, is this for real?!

Anywho, last night was fine. I had to sit in the hall between both patient's rooms and there was another cluster of three patients requiring another sitter directly next to mine. Super! I got to have company all night long. We were talking most of the night when we started to hear some odd noises in one of the patient rooms. Neither of us were assigned to that particular room, but it just happened to be in our territory. We ignored the sounds because it didn't sound like the pt was in pain or scared or needed anything. As time went on, however, we started hearing grunts. They got louder and some groans were mixed in. Sheets were heard rustling and the patient got louder and louder. My CNA buddy and I peeked in and the patient was (in her words) "jerking off"!!! Oh my goodness! He knew we were outside the door because he called to us periodically throughout our shift for water or help going to the bathroom or what-have-you.

I wish I could un-hear that whole thing. My innocence is being stolen from me and I can't do anything to prevent it. I can't get it back and I seriously think I'm scarred from this whole experience.

Yikes. Well, at least I have not yet encountered patients any more physically intimate than just making out (they were dementia patients). Good news, though, I had some serious comic relief last night after I got over the initial shock and laughed so ridiculously hard for about 10 minutes I was crying.  Plus, I now have all sorts of fun stories and memories to make me laugh for a lifetime and I've only been a CNA for a year and a half. Just wait until I've been a nurse for my whole life!

Millions of Applications

Guys, I got a new job!!! It has been a crazy day. Let's start the story with last Wednesday.

Last Wednesday I decided to check my CNA email after not having checked it for a couple of weeks and I haven't worked there in almost a month. Turns out I got an email asking me to come in for an interview. No big deal, because I have filled out an application for literally hundreds of CNA positions in the past year and a half in an attempt to get into the hospital. So I replied and got a spot for Monday (today).

I go in today, the interview is going well. Turns out that one of the interviewers started out as a CNA at a dementia care facility while she was attending nursing school, just like me! At the end of the interview she said that she couldn't think of any reason why I wouldn't get the job. "I mean, you pretty much have the job." What!?! I have never had an interview end with a job offer!

A couple of hours later HR contacted me and emailed me the new hire paperwork and that's it. That's the whole story. I got an interview and a new job all in one day. I never thought much of the request for an interview but oh man, I'm just floored. One of the interviewer (the lady that was a CNA with dementia pts) even gave me a hug at the end! Ya, it was amazing.

I will be a patient sitter in the floar pool between a couple of hospitals. This is a CNA job and they will also be training me to be a CNA on the floor too, just in case they need CNA's instead of just sitters. I will be able to go onto just about any floor besides peds, Mother/Baby, and NICU but that's okay. I will also be working nights which I'm slightly concerned about with school and my school scheduling... but maybe they will let me move to days soon.

The only thing that could make this day better would be to hear from my NICU interview and have them offer me a summer job in the NICU... Miracles happen daily for me and for everyone, you just have to be looking.

Praise the L-rd! He got me a job I didn't even expect and I am so excited for the many opportunities I will be given with this job and being able to go to almost every floor in the hospital.

Maybe you're just confused...

Full moon = craziness at work for the entire week! It was made worse by the fact that I worked 3 scheduled doubles and another single shift. Then they called me in for another single shift (bringing the total up to a whopping 8 shifts in 1 week) but I was the only CNA when there are usually 3... Needless to say I was livid, grouchy, and I am currently burnt out at this job.

Good news, though, there is an opening for the mother baby floor at a local hospital (the one that hired me the same time I got hired at this old folks' home) and it's PRN too! The only down side is that their orientation is a week long and I have school that I cannot miss. So, I will call them about it and apply in November so that I can hopefully do the orientation over winter break and get set up in the hospital!

A thing that I have recently noticed about nurses, however, is that many of them (us) have diarrhea of the mouth. This means that we say really stupid things and have to remove our foot from our oral orifices on numerous occasions each day. I have also recently discovered that I have a relatively thin skin and can get easily offended when someone questions my intelligence. What brought about this discovery? Oh, years of being questioned and targeted as people's mission in churches when I discussed my questions concerning doctrines of the church that I do not see as being congruent or found in the Bible. What brought it up recently? My charge nurse telling me that I'm confused about my belief system because I believe in Jesus but don't celebrate the Jesus holidays (Christian holidays). I made the mistake of telling people at work (only when they ask) that I celebrate the "Jewish" holidays that Yeshua (Jesus) celebrated instead of celebrating the Christian holidays like Easter and Christmas.

My little spiel begins with asking all of you to please not assume that I took the change lightly. Going from celebrating Christian holidays all my life to doing the Biblical ("Jewish") holidays was not a change that occurred spontaneously. I don't do anything spontaneously, at all! I resist change, I research all areas of life that I don't understand, and I am too scared of life and possible consequences of any action to even leave my house most days or have any human interaction. (I believe that may have been a run-on... I am very sorry. I tend to have run-on's in my rants.) So, for someone to tell me that I am confused and laugh in my face in front of fellow employees/friends when that person is the one asking me questions about what I believe is unacceptable. Don't tell me what I know and what I don't. Don't tell me that I don't know something that I have actually researched for years on end. Oh man, you can tell me a lot of stuff, but don't tell me what to do with my life and don't tell me that I don't know my own beliefs.

Now I am working on forgiveness... I think this came about from asking G-d to teach me to forgive and to be more compassionate and patient. If you ask for these things, which you should because it's good to be working on these things with G-d, but be ready for a rough life for the next few weeks/months. Man alive! This simple little request has made my summer very trying indeed!

In completely unrelated news, I went to church today. It was really short, only an hour and a half! I am used to being at congregation for 5-7 hours because I get there way early to help set-up, then leave really late after everything is cleaned and put away. I don't know if I will continue to go there because I was actually meaning to go to another church but got confused so I improvised and tried a different one. Long story short, it was an okay service, but I am going to go the the one I originally was going to go to because my mentor recommended it and it is supposed to have a pretty good worship service Friday nights. 

School starts Monday and I already have homework due the first day of class. 'Nough said.

Overstretched?

So, I applied for a work-study job because I was awarded a work-study scholarship. I don't really need the job because I was just going to take out loans so that I would not be over stretched. I don't even know why I applied. I don't know why I interviewed. I really don't know why I accepted...

It will only be 10-15 hours a week. Probably usually at night and Thursday I have the whole day off, so maybe I can fit a big shift in on Thursday. Was this a huge mistake though? I will still be working my other job. I was going to work doubles on Sundays, but I think I am going to go down to working nights because that way the work is easier and I have a few hours to study while I'm still getting paid. It seems to be slightly less stress for me than the mornings are. Plus, I think better in the morning so I can study and do homework in the morning and then continue to study once everyone is in bed at night.

Am I nuts for doing this? I wish my brother would have gotten the position. It's an IT job. I am decent at technology, but technology hates me. It's a "joke" with my friends and I, but I'm pretty sure all technology is out to get me... I guess I can try it for a semester and then let it go or continue it next semester. We'll see. I'm excited to have a job that does not include wiping butts. I'm also really glad that they chose me because I thought I did terribly in the interview! Plus, the last 3-4 interviews I went on, I didn't get the job or I got the job and then they took it back (that was super downer because it was a hospital job).

School is going well this week. We were so early today that the professor dismissed us almost 4 hours early! I don't know how we went so fast because it seemed like a million people asked questions. Now, I am all for learning and better understanding, but some questions can be written down and asked after class. This is especially the case when they involve a 15 minute story about your great-great-grandpa's nieces, best friend's health condition in order to get to the question that has nothing to do with the story, nor does it have anything to do with our current subject.

I love people, I really do... sometimes.

Daily Thanksgiving: I'm half way done with the semester's work and we got out super early today. I didn't fall asleep in class (though I was nodding off for about an hour and a half during lecture).  I got a job that I'm pretty excited about and I don't have to work with people very much because I'm just an IT person, not customer service! Plus, I don't have to feed, dress, shower, or wipe poop during the whole shift when I work there. It's also on campus and they start off with a base pay of at least $9.21 or something (base pay for me as a CNA is $10, that's ridiculous!)

I'm still thinking about boys and craving a boyfriend for no reason. Why is it that I want to be attached to a guy when they usually end up driving me absolutely nuts? I'm insane for wanting this, especially now that I will have 2 jobs and nursing school to keep up with. I tried to not mention this, and technically I could still delete this, but it's eating me alive. I want a friend, a true friend. Why am I not able to rely on G-d to fill that void the way I used to be able to? A guy is not supposed to take G-d's role. I am getting so lonely. I need to find a church/congregation so that I can go worship and learn about G-d. I so miss getting "fed" at church. Time to man up and find a place. No more procrastinating! I need this loneliness to go away and it won't go away with the company of a boy and I probably won't find a boy with the minimal time I spend outside of class, school, and in my apartment (completely unattractive, might I add because I love staying in pajamas and I don't have cute clothing style anyway). I need G-d to be back in His rightful place first on that list again because life without Him is not working.