I've been laughing all afternoon...

My brother is moving out tomorrow... well, he moves out officially tomorrow, he's already staying there tonight. Not really a huge deal, he warned me a number of months ago. He is breaking our agreement for the lease but that's another story.

So, he brought a buddy over to help him load his mattress today. We sat around talking for a little bit, loaded the mattress, not a big deal. At the end of their visit, our conversation stumbles across a path I did not know existed. My brother mentioned that he was moving out because I kicked him out. I did not recall ever doing such a thing which made him really defensive. "You kicked me out!" I asked him what I said and when. He was unable to answer that question and just kept replying that I kicked him out. He didn't say how or when or anything else besides he is moving out because I forced him to leave. I am thinking that he told that story to all of his friends and got mad because I called him out on it in front of another friend. They both proceeded to leave and left me all alone.

I was super mad. Like, super beyond angry. I don't know that I've ever been so mad at him or at a certain set of circumstances. So, I decided to be "productive." I pulled a Miranda Lambert (reference "Baggage Claim" and "Gunpowder and Lead" and really many of her songs to get an idea of what I was acting like). I started packing all of his stuff. Sure, he'll probably be mad and shocked tomorrow but hey, you want to tell people I'm kicking you out? Then fine! I will make sure that your belongings are ready to go first thing in the morning and you can leave me behind in a cloud of dust to figure out this mess you have now left me in. Now I have to find a roommate and pay YOUR rent that you agreed to pay when I signed the lease (because you were a minor at the time) but are now skipping out on. He said he would help with his part of the rent until the lease is up but I don't see that happening.

Needless to say, I went a little nuts. However, I finally understand why women (people) throw all of the boyfriend's/husband's things on the front lawn when they do something soooooooo stupid that it warrants them getting kicked out of their own house. I came pretty close to that myself but G-d didn't let me remember that people do that while I still had the energy to do anything. So, it's all just piled up in the living room.

I didn't even need a gun because sometimes that isn't as effective as going insane on someone and letting them sort through their own feelings. Just don't do us wrong though because we love with all that we are but when you cross us... Boy howdy you better be getting ready for WAR. I love him but this just took it too far. I feel like I have turned 73 cheeks to him to keep getting slapped. I think I have forgiven him and helped him even when he has done me wrong (thought I probably haven't done it right). But I am not going to be a doormat that he can use as the butt of every joke with his friends. I won't take his rumors quietly.What's more is that he wants me to meet his friends. That was before he informed me that he has been spreading rumors so that I now seem like some terrible, awful, evil, mean sister. I ain't meeting his friends just so that they can have dinner conversation about how I seem compared with Brother's account of me. That just ain't gonna happen!

The struggles of college and siblings...

More on the roommate front later. Actually, I hope to inform y'all about it tomorrow.

Wide Open Spaces

Have you ever listened to Wide Open Spaces by the Dixie Chicks? I love that song. Have not listened to it in years but it's somehow as clear as day in my head right now. This song gets me!

If you have not heard it before, or perhaps you forget how it goes, I recommend listening to it on YouTube. These ladies understand me, it's beautiful really. (Haha, I don't really talk like that normally.)

You know who else gets me? Miranda Lambert. Her song Gunpowder & Lead suites me quite well. I probably wouldn't be smoking or shooting at an ex, even if he did beat me up. But the song represents the freedom us ladies have to stand up for ourselves - with a catchy tune.

These songs bring up the fact that I have been told I am too independent. Just as these ladies are very strong and independent. Plus, I am a bit of a feminist, if you haven't noticed. Not a bra-burning one, (though I have considered it before). I just believe in equality. G-d did make distinctions, and not everything a man can do a woman can do or vice versa. However, females and males are created to compliment each other. This doesn't mean the woman has to stay home or the man has to bring home the turkey bacon (keepin' it kosher guys). To me, this simply means that we work together in our careers to best mirror Yeshua (Jesus') image and G-d's image. We are created in His image. So show grace, extend mercy, forgive, love and live a life worthy of G-d's approval.

...It just occurred to me that was one of the most random sets of transitioning I have read in a blog, but it effectively explains my thought process. This is also why I do not talk much, my thoughts go EVERYWHERE!