My Week of Weird Texts

So, you know country boy texted me yesterday out of the blue. Guess who texted me today? I bet you would never guess ever... It was one of my old roommates. This particular former roommate was not one who I had huge problems with, but we are not on friend terms any longer. Today, however, she texted me randomly asking me how summer was, what I was up to, if I would be moving in with my brother, what he was going to me majoring in, and (this was the real reason for texting) if I had gotten into nursing school. I answered all of them saying that my brother and I would probably move in together (we already have) and I skipped the nursing school question. So she asked me if I had gotten into nursing school again. I didn't respond to that one and it's been like 2 hours so far...

I think people are convinced I am stupid. A girl who doesn't talk to me for months texts me to see if I got into the nursing program because I blocked her on Facebook. The boy who is talking about getting back with his girlfriend on Facebook is trying to get me to date him.

I promise, I am far from stupid. I may have my foolish moments, but those are few and far between. G-d gave me brains, He gave me wisdom, and He gave me strength. No body is going to be messing with me any longer. They may have gotten away with it in the past, but I'm through letting people dump their bad days and anger on me, especially when I haven't done anything! I am not blaming myself for every bad thing that happens in my life because I don't cause all of the problems. In fact, I fix a lot of them and I take responsibility when I do cause them. I am drawing my boundaries here and I am not being a doormat any longer.

Successful Day

After receiving the call from work at about 3 this morning, I slept in nice and late (for me). I studied a bit, spent some time with my brother, watched another episode of my favorite show and then went to work. Now, work was good and bad. The good part was that I only had to work 5 1/2 hours. The bad part was that everyone was so uncooperative! Goodness, it took me 30-45 minutes to help change one lady into her pajamas and she only let me change her pants. Plus, she asks "huh?" after everything that you say even though she can hear just fine. It's like an automated response to everything. Man, I was getting so frustrated having to repeat everything and having the most nonsensical conversation I think I have ever had in my life. Guys, I don't know how much longer I can stay at this job. For my first CNA job I think it's gone pretty well but I am so burnt out at this place. They pay way less than hospitals or even other facilities but they are having us work with one of the most difficult populations (in my opinion). I have had so many days pleading with G-d to let me have a unit secretary job in the hospital or just any CNA job in the hospital. I would love to work in labor and delivery or in the NICU. I have even applied to tons of those positions because they are open in the hospitals right now but no one is calling me back. Oh well, G-d knows where I am supposed to be and for how long. If I knew how long I would be here I would either crawl into a hole and wait for death (not really, I'm being way overly dramatic) or I would cease productivity for my remaining days at work. I guess that's why G-d doesn't tell us His time frame for things, huh?

I was thinking about that on my way to work today. He allowed me to get into nursing school. Just a couple months ago I was asking for Him to tell me if I would get in or not. If He would have told me He would get me in, I probably wouldn't have worked so hard to pass the HESI with such a good score and I probably wouldn't have tried for all A's this last year. So, if He were to tell me when I would meet my husband and where, I would stop living and trusting Him to bring my husband and I together. Likewise, if I knew any of His future plans for me, and the time that He would fulfill those plans, I would stop doing anything because I know that His plans would be carried out. This is frustrating for me because I am nosy and like to have everything planned and understood. However, this is also very good because G-d is teaching me faith, trust, hope (which I really struggle with), patience, thanksgiving, and so many other lessons. For now, I will just have to let go of my frustration and learn to go with His flow. Someday I will be able to look back glad that life had all of the surprises He meant for me to experience.

Daily Thanksgiving: I do not have to work again until Sunday and work was not so bad that I outright quit... not yet. G-d keeps surprises for us so that we can learn a whole plethora of lessons with each of His provisions and blessings. Today I set up an interview for a job on campus for my work-study program. I interview on Friday and we will see if G-d wants me to work 2 jobs this next year. G-d is in control of life, which I am so grateful for because I mess mine up all the time and I'm not even the boss!