I went to Cabela's last night with my mom. In the whole 30 minutes that we walked around that store, we must have had 7 guys (employees) come up and ask us if we needed help. Great customer service! I hate when you have to go seek out help and the employees don't want to talk to you and they seem rude. So, I was becoming more and more pleased with the store because they have cool stuff, great customer service, Duck Dynasty stuff is everywhere (and in pink versions too!!!), and the guys selling guns took me seriously when I talked about getting a gun. That never happens to me. Also, I had just gotten my hair done and my makeup was done, so I was looking fairly decent. That has not happened in several weeks (unless I'm going out). So, it was a great night.
As we were walking back to the car my mom says, "That guy was flirting with you."
Me: "No he wasn't, he was selling me on a gun."
Mom: "That's probably why we keep getting asked if we need help so often tonight. You are so cute!"
Me: "..."
Folks, hopefully you know me by now, but I am kind of good at school but my people skills are lacking. I don't even know what flirting is!
So, I asked my mom what flirting is, when we got back in the car. She didn't answer me. That gave me no choice. I needed an answer and decided to consult my favorite source: Google.
After several hours of research, I still have no idea what flirting is. There is no formula, there is no absolute sign, there is no light that says that someone is flirting or that they are just being helpful. Therefore my understanding of dating fundamentals is still -8239885628473204873. Yes, I made it a quantitative amount on a scale from 1-10. I am in the negatives and a pretty deep negative, if you ask me but I was being conservative.
I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT FLIRTING IS!!!
This sucks. People have been leaning over to me saying, "Oh, he's flirting with you!" or something to that effect. I blush because 1) it sounds dirty to me and 2) I am embarrassed that I don't know what it is and 3) I'm embarrassed that it is happening to me and they called me out on it.
What is flirting? How do guys do it? More importantly, how do I avoid doing it? Do you have any ways of knowing that it's happening? Is it more of a guesstimating thing to be able to "read" into what is flirtatious and what is just genuine kindness? Is it inconvenient/embarrassing/unnecessary for anyone else?
Am I the only one that has no idea of what's going on?
Showing posts with label uncomfortable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label uncomfortable. Show all posts
Friday, November 8, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Worst Friend Ever
Folks, I'm talking about me. In the last week, I have made a friend cry and ruined another friendship. I don't know why I suck at life, but I do. I'm terrible with people! What was I thinking making friends and talking? Dumbest decision I've had in a long time, and maybe ever in my life. Man alive! What is wrong with me? I never used to make people cry, never. And friends have been mad at me before, but this one hurts more than it did before. So far they are both still talking to me, but I still failed them.
I have a confession, I wanted to learn how to speak my mind so that people don't keep walking all over me, but if this is what results, I don't want any part of it! It's not even like I have a thick skin either, but I didn't think I was mean. Now, I'm thinking I am so very mean and I'm seriously considering why people even befriend me in the first place.
Then, I start thinking about why I befriend others. I make friends because I know what it is to be uncomfortable on the sidelines watching everyone else socialize and have fun. So, I rope other people in a help them to make connections until they don't need me anymore. Then, the connections that we had slowly fade into nothing more than a smile in the halls. Fortunately for me, I am now comfortable on the sidelines with no one else to sit with or talk to, but if there is someone, I will interact with them.
Subsequently, I started thinking about my friends. I do have friends, and they are often very kind to hang out with me because I am crazy. Y'all know, you read my thoughts in this blog. Anyway, I have never really felt connected to anyone. Even when I have a bunch of friends, and loads of stuff to do with them, I always feel lonely. So, what's wrong with me? We weren't made to be of the world, we are merely in it to fulfill G-d's plans, but I feel all alone when surrounded by seas of people. Even when I let someone know my secrets and my deeper, crazier thoughts, I never really feel connected or close to anyone. Now, the bonds I used to have with my parents and brother are even dwindling. Is it just part of growing up? If it is, then why have I always been so lonely, all my life. I know G-d is always with me, but I've been screwing up with Him and I haven't been working on that relationship and everything is falling apart!!!
So, my conclusion is: I suck at life.
I have a confession, I wanted to learn how to speak my mind so that people don't keep walking all over me, but if this is what results, I don't want any part of it! It's not even like I have a thick skin either, but I didn't think I was mean. Now, I'm thinking I am so very mean and I'm seriously considering why people even befriend me in the first place.
Then, I start thinking about why I befriend others. I make friends because I know what it is to be uncomfortable on the sidelines watching everyone else socialize and have fun. So, I rope other people in a help them to make connections until they don't need me anymore. Then, the connections that we had slowly fade into nothing more than a smile in the halls. Fortunately for me, I am now comfortable on the sidelines with no one else to sit with or talk to, but if there is someone, I will interact with them.
Subsequently, I started thinking about my friends. I do have friends, and they are often very kind to hang out with me because I am crazy. Y'all know, you read my thoughts in this blog. Anyway, I have never really felt connected to anyone. Even when I have a bunch of friends, and loads of stuff to do with them, I always feel lonely. So, what's wrong with me? We weren't made to be of the world, we are merely in it to fulfill G-d's plans, but I feel all alone when surrounded by seas of people. Even when I let someone know my secrets and my deeper, crazier thoughts, I never really feel connected or close to anyone. Now, the bonds I used to have with my parents and brother are even dwindling. Is it just part of growing up? If it is, then why have I always been so lonely, all my life. I know G-d is always with me, but I've been screwing up with Him and I haven't been working on that relationship and everything is falling apart!!!
So, my conclusion is: I suck at life.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Awkward Encounter
In life, there are glorious moments when you put your foot right in you mouth and say something ridiculously foolish. I tend to have those moment several times a day...
This morning on my way to breakfast, I went by to pick up my friend because her dorm room is on the way to the cafeteria. We were talking about another friend, because I was asking for advice, and guess who comes around the corner? Yes, it was the friend we were talking about. The friend I was with just so happened to use the other friends name in a question that can be greatly misconstrued for taking place in a very nasty, gossipy conversation. I assure you, it was not, but I do believe she heard the question and her name because the friend we had mentioned was within ear shot and she was not her usual perky self at breakfast. Why am I so terrible at life? I don't want to bring it up with her on the off-chance that she did not hear anything, but I also do not want it to eat at her.
So, here I am not knowing what to do, yet again.
Folks, this is why I don't talk. Even when I don't talk much and I explain problems to a friend, somehow that information gets out to the world, causing me a lot of problems because I opened my mouth in the first place. I should take a vow of silence, move to the forest and not come into contact with anyone ever again, because I just end up making a fool of myself and hurting everyone.
G-d told us that the things we do in secret will be exposed, right? (Obviously that was paraphrased, but please correct be if I'm wrong.)
This morning on my way to breakfast, I went by to pick up my friend because her dorm room is on the way to the cafeteria. We were talking about another friend, because I was asking for advice, and guess who comes around the corner? Yes, it was the friend we were talking about. The friend I was with just so happened to use the other friends name in a question that can be greatly misconstrued for taking place in a very nasty, gossipy conversation. I assure you, it was not, but I do believe she heard the question and her name because the friend we had mentioned was within ear shot and she was not her usual perky self at breakfast. Why am I so terrible at life? I don't want to bring it up with her on the off-chance that she did not hear anything, but I also do not want it to eat at her.
So, here I am not knowing what to do, yet again.
Folks, this is why I don't talk. Even when I don't talk much and I explain problems to a friend, somehow that information gets out to the world, causing me a lot of problems because I opened my mouth in the first place. I should take a vow of silence, move to the forest and not come into contact with anyone ever again, because I just end up making a fool of myself and hurting everyone.
G-d told us that the things we do in secret will be exposed, right? (Obviously that was paraphrased, but please correct be if I'm wrong.)
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Back At School
I can't believe spring break is over already! It seems like I was just packing up my car to head home, now I'm back again with no recollection of what I did last week. That was an exageration, I relaxed and watched t.v. when I was not hanging out with my kids or my friends. No matter how unproductive my break was, I am glad that I was able to relax and veg, hopefully my brain was able to recoup so I can get done with the last 6 weeks of my freshman year.
Yesterday, before I left home, my parents threw me a mini birthday party. How sweet is that! They were bummed that my birthday is during the school week so they got a couple pies and gave me a card with some money in it. I love that it didn't turn into a whole week ordeal or even an entire day dedicated to me. Those things make me uncomfortable because everything is because the "birthday girl" wants to do something. Never have I had to make more decisions than on my birthday. So, to have a tiny little celebration that lasted a maximum of 30 minutes was perfect. Plus, I am having a hard time getting older. I can't even imagine how bummed I will be when I turn 50 if I am having these sad feelings just turning 19.
Daily Thanksgiving: I am thankful that I got here last night so I can miss the Easter traffic. I also got all of my shopping done this morning and I got an excellent parking spot! Over spring break I didn't even have to work which was nice too because I get so stressed out at work. I am also thankful that G-d has preserved me these last 19 years and he brought me back to college safely.
Anyway, enough about me. How have you been?
Yesterday, before I left home, my parents threw me a mini birthday party. How sweet is that! They were bummed that my birthday is during the school week so they got a couple pies and gave me a card with some money in it. I love that it didn't turn into a whole week ordeal or even an entire day dedicated to me. Those things make me uncomfortable because everything is because the "birthday girl" wants to do something. Never have I had to make more decisions than on my birthday. So, to have a tiny little celebration that lasted a maximum of 30 minutes was perfect. Plus, I am having a hard time getting older. I can't even imagine how bummed I will be when I turn 50 if I am having these sad feelings just turning 19.
Daily Thanksgiving: I am thankful that I got here last night so I can miss the Easter traffic. I also got all of my shopping done this morning and I got an excellent parking spot! Over spring break I didn't even have to work which was nice too because I get so stressed out at work. I am also thankful that G-d has preserved me these last 19 years and he brought me back to college safely.
Anyway, enough about me. How have you been?
Friday, March 22, 2013
Spring Break!
I should have updated you all yesterday once I got out of lab that I was now on my spring break, but I was hanging out with my friends. So, I am now officially on spring break! To start off the festivities, I stayed up until 1:30 last night watching t.v., but I also did my laundry and hung out with my friend until about 10:30.
I am so excited to go home today, unfortunately I have to stay until at least 2 or so because of my RA interview. I do not like interviews, they make me uncomfortable and stress me out. If I do interviews, I would want it to be at a coffee shop, where we can get a coffee and sit and get to know each other because it seems that people are more themselves when they are not sitting in a chair alone being questioned by a panel of strangers. Anyway, after my interview, I have to wait for my friend to get off work, then we are going to his new house until the traffic subsides a bit. Fridays are awful for traffic from my campus to the city I live in. A typical hour drive turns into a 2-3 hour drive because people won't get out of the fast lane and were not taught how to properly utilize highways. Plus, the highway is mostly a two lane highway (in each direction), when it really needs to be closer to three or four because of the large influx in population. But, it is what it is, and I really enjoy cranking up my radio and jamming out for an 1+ hours.
Not having homework (except for editing and submitting a paper) is so nice! I miss high school because homework had an end to it after just a couple of hours. In college, not so much. No matter how long or how hard you work, there is always more that can be done. Whether it is reading for the next class period, or studying, or writing your papers, or even actual homework, there is never an end.
Daily Thanksgiving: It's spring break and life is nice right now. I loved hanging out with my friend last night and I finally made the move to delete my Facebook account to avoid the awkwardness from my ex-roommates. This is gonna be a good week... once I can get through my interview.
I am so excited to go home today, unfortunately I have to stay until at least 2 or so because of my RA interview. I do not like interviews, they make me uncomfortable and stress me out. If I do interviews, I would want it to be at a coffee shop, where we can get a coffee and sit and get to know each other because it seems that people are more themselves when they are not sitting in a chair alone being questioned by a panel of strangers. Anyway, after my interview, I have to wait for my friend to get off work, then we are going to his new house until the traffic subsides a bit. Fridays are awful for traffic from my campus to the city I live in. A typical hour drive turns into a 2-3 hour drive because people won't get out of the fast lane and were not taught how to properly utilize highways. Plus, the highway is mostly a two lane highway (in each direction), when it really needs to be closer to three or four because of the large influx in population. But, it is what it is, and I really enjoy cranking up my radio and jamming out for an 1+ hours.
Not having homework (except for editing and submitting a paper) is so nice! I miss high school because homework had an end to it after just a couple of hours. In college, not so much. No matter how long or how hard you work, there is always more that can be done. Whether it is reading for the next class period, or studying, or writing your papers, or even actual homework, there is never an end.
Daily Thanksgiving: It's spring break and life is nice right now. I loved hanging out with my friend last night and I finally made the move to delete my Facebook account to avoid the awkwardness from my ex-roommates. This is gonna be a good week... once I can get through my interview.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Eye Contact
I have written twice already today, with this being my third post, but I just keep thinking about stuff. Maybe this is making up for all the days I missed over my extended weekend.
Any-who, I have thinking about eye contact more and more because of interviews, friendships and so on. Why is eye contact so uncomfortable? The other person cannot really see deep into your soul. Emotions are played out on the face and through body language, not just through eyes. Eyes, are simple really, just a cornea, lens, retina and some goo in-between layers. That's it! Not much to eyes.
Why is it, then, that it is foreign to make eye contact for so many? I am first on the list, by the way, of people who despise it. For some reason, eye contact usually makes me blush. Even with my parents, brother, close friends, anyone really. I get squirmy and self conscious. Lately, however, I have become more comfortable with a few people and can actually look into their eyes and perceive an unspoken understanding. Not with very many people, mind you, but there are one or two who I actually find comfort in locking gazes with. The weirdest thing, though, is they actually know more of my story, my full story. I would have thought that with them knowing my shady past, the most intimate details of my life, I would be more self-conscious around them. Therefore, I would likely shy away from their glance. Quite the opposite is happening, however, and I am pleasantly surprised! I do not plan on sharing my story with many others, but just a few close friends can know (plus you guys, but I'm anonymous).
Do you have a theory as to why eye contact is so unnerving? Why is it easier to look into someone's eyes when they know more about you than most of your closest friends?
Any-who, I have thinking about eye contact more and more because of interviews, friendships and so on. Why is eye contact so uncomfortable? The other person cannot really see deep into your soul. Emotions are played out on the face and through body language, not just through eyes. Eyes, are simple really, just a cornea, lens, retina and some goo in-between layers. That's it! Not much to eyes.
Why is it, then, that it is foreign to make eye contact for so many? I am first on the list, by the way, of people who despise it. For some reason, eye contact usually makes me blush. Even with my parents, brother, close friends, anyone really. I get squirmy and self conscious. Lately, however, I have become more comfortable with a few people and can actually look into their eyes and perceive an unspoken understanding. Not with very many people, mind you, but there are one or two who I actually find comfort in locking gazes with. The weirdest thing, though, is they actually know more of my story, my full story. I would have thought that with them knowing my shady past, the most intimate details of my life, I would be more self-conscious around them. Therefore, I would likely shy away from their glance. Quite the opposite is happening, however, and I am pleasantly surprised! I do not plan on sharing my story with many others, but just a few close friends can know (plus you guys, but I'm anonymous).
Do you have a theory as to why eye contact is so unnerving? Why is it easier to look into someone's eyes when they know more about you than most of your closest friends?
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