So, do y'all remember about a year ago when some strange, college aged guys came to my door and scammed me out of $20? Well, you can read that post again here. Today a different set of guys doing the same thing came to my door. Guys I did so well!!! They were flirting and I kept ignoring it. They asked for a decision to try to get money from me and I denied them at least 5 times. Dude, I'm getting smarter about people!!!
That was it.
The end.
Showing posts with label protected. Show all posts
Showing posts with label protected. Show all posts
Monday, September 22, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Heavy Heart and An Empty Room
Brother moved out yesterday after we got in a huge fight. I knew he was moving out, thus the reason for me packing the night before, but he came back yesterday to begin collecting all of his things and we just had it out. The yelling match only lasted for about 15 minutes until he concluded that he, "just couldn't handle this anymore." He proceeded to slam the door in my face and take a shower. At that point I hopped in my car and drove the hour and a half back to Home-base. I waited for my mom to get home from shul and we just talked for about 6 hours. Praise the L-rd that I live so close to home but not close enough to be there every night.
Guys, I cried that entire car ride. Let me tell you, when you are angry and bawling, it's really hard to see how fast you're going. Thankfully G-d was watching out for me and didn't let me get a ticket but I was going about 90 mph at one point in a 65-75 mph zone.
It feels like I lost my brother though. That is what hurts the most. When we were little kids, we fought, but it was just little things. You know, my brother would poke me so I would scream at him. He would like a girl so I would tease him until he punched me... Normal sibling stuff. Now, it takes nothing for us to be in a room and go from laughing to yelling. Just the most random little things set either of us off. He got really aggressive ever since his testosterone hit full gear and his voice dropped. I was informed by my mom that a few years ago I started to get weepy and I was able to be set off a lot easier. I'm thinking that's when all of my estrogen's decided to take over. Stupid hormones. I am praying that this is only a phase and that we can be pals again like we used to but right now I'm not seeing the light.
Tonight, my brother's room is completely empty and my heart is following with emptiness and this deep deep longing for him to come back. I fear for his safety living with boys who are drinking and partying almost every night. They skip class and think it's funny to fail classes. Some of them are sleeping around with random girls and doing "recreational" drugs. Depending on who you ask, cocaine could be a "recreational drug." I don't even know where he lives because I don't want to go meet his roommates and he doesn't even really want me to know where he lives.
Why does it feel like my life is falling apart? This blog was supposed to be about the funny things that happen or good-to-know tips about nursing school and college life. Instead, I just come here to complain and pour out my heart.
Guys, I cried that entire car ride. Let me tell you, when you are angry and bawling, it's really hard to see how fast you're going. Thankfully G-d was watching out for me and didn't let me get a ticket but I was going about 90 mph at one point in a 65-75 mph zone.
It feels like I lost my brother though. That is what hurts the most. When we were little kids, we fought, but it was just little things. You know, my brother would poke me so I would scream at him. He would like a girl so I would tease him until he punched me... Normal sibling stuff. Now, it takes nothing for us to be in a room and go from laughing to yelling. Just the most random little things set either of us off. He got really aggressive ever since his testosterone hit full gear and his voice dropped. I was informed by my mom that a few years ago I started to get weepy and I was able to be set off a lot easier. I'm thinking that's when all of my estrogen's decided to take over. Stupid hormones. I am praying that this is only a phase and that we can be pals again like we used to but right now I'm not seeing the light.
Tonight, my brother's room is completely empty and my heart is following with emptiness and this deep deep longing for him to come back. I fear for his safety living with boys who are drinking and partying almost every night. They skip class and think it's funny to fail classes. Some of them are sleeping around with random girls and doing "recreational" drugs. Depending on who you ask, cocaine could be a "recreational drug." I don't even know where he lives because I don't want to go meet his roommates and he doesn't even really want me to know where he lives.
Why does it feel like my life is falling apart? This blog was supposed to be about the funny things that happen or good-to-know tips about nursing school and college life. Instead, I just come here to complain and pour out my heart.
Monday, September 16, 2013
I'm a Traitor
I got a flu shot. I know, I'm disappointed in me too. After fighting so hard to get a CNA job that allowed the exemption, I buckled so that I wouldn't have to fight so hard through nursing school. I'm praying that nothing bad happens to me because I know that statistically, nothing bad should happen. Still, I worry about that small little list of people that are poorly affected by this stupid waste of money will have my name under it. Yes, I did say that the shot is stupid and I am very upset that I got it. Please forgive me for stepping on toes and for being ignorant, but I do not believe that this vaccine should be mandatory. I have a million reasons as to why I believe we should not be pinned down and forced to take this shot, but it won't do any good. Everyone already has their sides and I just happen to be on the side that scientists call ignorance. I accept this title, in this case, because it means that I am actually thinking for myself instead of just trusting what all the "experts" say about it. I am "ignorant" because I refuse to accept all of the biased information that they put out.
When getting the vaccine, however, I started talking to the lady that was doing all my paperwork, and she happened to be in the nursing program at another nearby college. She was asking me why I don't get it normally and I beat around the bush because I didn't know her stance. It turns out, she is against it too! Unfortunately for me, she has a medical excuse because she has someone in her house that is often hospitalized when they get any kind of infection, so she doesn't have to get the flu shot. The nurse practitioner I talked to is also against it and his wife just happens to teach at a nearby nursing school. Funny huh? I just don't understand why we let hospitals push us around. If all of the people that are against the vaccines would just stand up for what they believe in, together we could reform the healthcare system to actually help us instead of allowing them to bully us around every corner. People, why will you not just stand with me and be radical? Look who's talking though... the girl who was too lazy to fight with each of her clinical sites to be flu vaccine free. I understand vaccines save lives, they are typically safe, they have eradicated many diseases, blah, blah, blah. I am just not okay with their vaccine happy, shove it down your throat or you can't function in America as a normal part of society deal they have goin' on. I especially don't like having to get a flu shot that protects against 3-4 strains of the flu when there are hundreds or thousands constantly mutating. I know it is designed to protect against the "worst" ones predicted to hit the U.S. in any given flu season, but what is a measly 3-4 strain vaccine really going to protect you from?
Whatever, the NP was cool and the PCT (patient care tech) was cool about it. I wish I could have gotten a medical exemption signed by him, but he doesn't want to lie and I don't either. So, now I am trusting the L-rd to keep me protected from whatever toxins they had loaded up into that evil syringe, and I pray for peace because right now I am switching from pure anger to near tears every 5 minutes or so. Also (though this likely won't help much, if at all), I loaded up on vitamins, colloidal silver, and EmergenC. Yes, I am slightly scared of the symptoms that may come about. This happened with my Tdap vaccine the other day too but my mom was here so I couldn't even keep my tears at bay for very long. Why do I regress into childhood when my mom's around? I fought so hard to be an adult when I lived at home but now I get around my parents and it's like I'm 3 again. I lay with my head in her lap and I am constantly giving my parents hugs, kisses (on the cheek, of course), and acting like a little child. I need to work on that...
In the mean time, I wish I were 21 because I need a beer. I know! How dare I condone alcohol!?! Well, I don't drink underage (except for about an ounce for religious ceremonies and my parents are always there for that 1 sip), Yeshua drank wine, and I'm not planning on ever getting plastered. For some reason, however, I've been craving a beer. Why? I have no clue. I'm probably not even really craving a beer, I likely just need a stress outlet because I am way worked up. I just need G-d. He's the only One that can take away my stress, my anxiety, my unrighteous anger, my fear of life, and my worries about the future. He is the only One who holds my heart, knows all my thoughts, and can calm me down. Let me tell you, I'm struggling right now, and not even just with the flu vaccine. Life kinda is kickin' me lately and I feel very alone.
Daily Thanksgiving: Now I am able to be hired by the hospital that hired me the first time because I'm now a sell-out and caved into getting the dumb flu vaccine. I have a G-d who is bigger than the American health system, bigger than vaccines, and He created me so I know that He can protect me from anything. Today is done and tomorrow is a new day. One of the little girls that I babysit emailed me today asking when they would get to see me again. That lifted my spirit. The L-rd truly knows how to make me feel just a little bit grounded just in the nick of time.
These are my real-life, totally legit, and completely real struggles of life. This is what goes on in my brain constantly.
When getting the vaccine, however, I started talking to the lady that was doing all my paperwork, and she happened to be in the nursing program at another nearby college. She was asking me why I don't get it normally and I beat around the bush because I didn't know her stance. It turns out, she is against it too! Unfortunately for me, she has a medical excuse because she has someone in her house that is often hospitalized when they get any kind of infection, so she doesn't have to get the flu shot. The nurse practitioner I talked to is also against it and his wife just happens to teach at a nearby nursing school. Funny huh? I just don't understand why we let hospitals push us around. If all of the people that are against the vaccines would just stand up for what they believe in, together we could reform the healthcare system to actually help us instead of allowing them to bully us around every corner. People, why will you not just stand with me and be radical? Look who's talking though... the girl who was too lazy to fight with each of her clinical sites to be flu vaccine free. I understand vaccines save lives, they are typically safe, they have eradicated many diseases, blah, blah, blah. I am just not okay with their vaccine happy, shove it down your throat or you can't function in America as a normal part of society deal they have goin' on. I especially don't like having to get a flu shot that protects against 3-4 strains of the flu when there are hundreds or thousands constantly mutating. I know it is designed to protect against the "worst" ones predicted to hit the U.S. in any given flu season, but what is a measly 3-4 strain vaccine really going to protect you from?
Whatever, the NP was cool and the PCT (patient care tech) was cool about it. I wish I could have gotten a medical exemption signed by him, but he doesn't want to lie and I don't either. So, now I am trusting the L-rd to keep me protected from whatever toxins they had loaded up into that evil syringe, and I pray for peace because right now I am switching from pure anger to near tears every 5 minutes or so. Also (though this likely won't help much, if at all), I loaded up on vitamins, colloidal silver, and EmergenC. Yes, I am slightly scared of the symptoms that may come about. This happened with my Tdap vaccine the other day too but my mom was here so I couldn't even keep my tears at bay for very long. Why do I regress into childhood when my mom's around? I fought so hard to be an adult when I lived at home but now I get around my parents and it's like I'm 3 again. I lay with my head in her lap and I am constantly giving my parents hugs, kisses (on the cheek, of course), and acting like a little child. I need to work on that...
In the mean time, I wish I were 21 because I need a beer. I know! How dare I condone alcohol!?! Well, I don't drink underage (except for about an ounce for religious ceremonies and my parents are always there for that 1 sip), Yeshua drank wine, and I'm not planning on ever getting plastered. For some reason, however, I've been craving a beer. Why? I have no clue. I'm probably not even really craving a beer, I likely just need a stress outlet because I am way worked up. I just need G-d. He's the only One that can take away my stress, my anxiety, my unrighteous anger, my fear of life, and my worries about the future. He is the only One who holds my heart, knows all my thoughts, and can calm me down. Let me tell you, I'm struggling right now, and not even just with the flu vaccine. Life kinda is kickin' me lately and I feel very alone.
Daily Thanksgiving: Now I am able to be hired by the hospital that hired me the first time because I'm now a sell-out and caved into getting the dumb flu vaccine. I have a G-d who is bigger than the American health system, bigger than vaccines, and He created me so I know that He can protect me from anything. Today is done and tomorrow is a new day. One of the little girls that I babysit emailed me today asking when they would get to see me again. That lifted my spirit. The L-rd truly knows how to make me feel just a little bit grounded just in the nick of time.
These are my real-life, totally legit, and completely real struggles of life. This is what goes on in my brain constantly.
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