School Tomorrow

Hey y'all, I'm having o go back to school tomorrow. Goodness, I had so many plans for my very last Spring Break, but none of those occurred.

Why? You may ask... We've had 3, count them one, two, THREE snowstorms! What is that?!? It's Spring frickin' Break!!!

Good grief! I was supposed to have a massage with my mom Wednesday but we got a couple feet of snow... I wanted to go out Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights (moving the night as the snow ruined each night) and I ended up cancelling all of them because of the weather and ice.

Most of the snow is gone now because it's spring. Oy vey! Spring snow storms are rough because the snow is really wet and heavy, but there is a lot of it. Then, it's all gone by that evening or the following day. I don't understand. Oh well.

So, school starts back tomorrow. I get no break all day because I have skills lab in the hour break that I normally get between my morning nursing class and my afternoon main campus class. Getting the professor to help me by doing the skills lab in this time was a huge struggle because she scheduled it for all of the other clinical groups during my afternoon class. She told me I needed to "prioritize" which class I was going to go to, but that her skills lab was mandatory. She gave me a "hint" that I needed to go to her lab because the other class was not what my degree was going to be in... Yes, she actually said that to me!

Tomorrow, along with no break, I get to wear my whites on main campus and I will get to be late to my afternoon class. Great! Thanks nursing school.

First Clinical Lab - With Pictures!

Sorry, not real pictures from clinicals because that would likely be illegal...



Guys I got so caught up in my life troubles to tell you about the first day of clinicals lab!!! It was even better than I thought despite having 158374953945749 layers of clothes to put on at 6 in the morning.

Yes, my "whites" (our scrubs uniform for clinicals) consists of compression tight, compression socks to the knees, Dansko shoes (my mom spoils me and I love them!), tan undies, white see-through pants (reason for the other layers beneath),  tan bra, white/tan undershirt, white see-through scrub top, and, finally, a navy blue sweater. Goodness! Did you catch all that? I can hardly move, much less breath in this disastrous outfit, but it's required so I can roll with it 1-2 days a week. For future reference, remember that I am highly clumsy and typically wear mostly black with dark blue jeans for a reason. I grew up with a dad constantly working on cars and I have become accustomed to getting my hands dirty. Car grease is my favorite thing to have on my hands, no joke. So, wearing ALL white freaks me out to no end. Anyway, let's get on with this story!


So lab started at 0730 sharp. We went into the Simulation lab to meet our clinical instructor who I'm super excited to have teaching us. He informed us that our first ever clinical semester will be spent on the renal floor. Doesn't seem like a big deal right? That's what I thought. After further explaining our unfortunate placement, I learned that in the short time my instructor was at the hospital orienting on the floor he had several codes and I guess the patients and nurses don't take too kindly to nursing students... or anyone for that matter. Super. I don't know what G-d is going to teach me, but I have a feeling it will be profound because I internalize people yelling at me and insulting me to the point of severe, severe depression or even near suicide. I'm not exaggerating, it's happened before (getting that bad, not suicide). I know that this is something that I really need to not do and I plan on visiting the counseling center on campus regularly because this is going to be a rough few months.

Then, we had the pleasure of trying out a simulation. There were two of us students in the room with the talking, barfing, crazy manikin so it wasn't so bad, but I was completely unprepared. We had to pretend to call the doctor and had to put out a million fires with the super demanding manikin and it was just insane! What am I getting myself into? I thought I could do this but I'm starting to have doubts...

After that awful experience, we had wound lab. So much fun! We learned how to make a sterile field (which is simpler and harder than I expected, all at the same time). Then we drained a few wound drainage systems and practiced a sterile dressing change with pudding as purulent drainage. Yum. They have now successfully ruined at least two flavors of pudding for the majority of the class because of these labs. It's just the fun of nursing school.

Well, that's all that happened. Now you might have some kind of idea of what to expect! Let me know if any of y'all have questions because I would be delighted to answer any/all questions that I possibly can.

Frustrations of Rooming with Your Brother

This year, while at college, my brother and I decided to live in an apartment together. Wise idea? It seemed like it at the time, but it's turning out to be more difficult than I expected. We are constantly "stepping on each other's toes" because he is trying to figure out how to be an adult living on his own (away from parents) while I am further maturing from my year alone last year. Needless to say, he thinks I'm bossy and I find him to be showing signs of a VERY immature prefrontal cortex. He thinks he needs a motorcycle, he assumes that I don't need to be picked up at a certain time, he makes me late for class, he wouldn't listen to me about getting a schedule that is more condusive to my schedule because we are sharing a parking pass, and he is quite certain that he is right about everything and calls me condescending a lot. Yes, I have days where I think I'm right all the time, but it's because I am right. ;) If I'm wrong then I admit to it.

What brought this rage on today? I got to wait outside for him for over an hour even though I only have an hour to go home, eat a little something, then come back to school for BHA lab after grabbing my equipment and changing. What did he decide to do today? Go to the mall. He works there, so he went to go talk to his manager, but it's 20 minutes away (when there is no traffic). He texted me, during class, asking when I get out. I told him 12.

At 12:07, I get a text asking, "So you're going to the library to study right?" Where did he ever get that from?! I never told him that and he admitted  that I never told him that. I told him I needed to be picked up and he said he would be right there.

At 12:31 he texts me saying that he is just now leaving. Ya, I thought he already had. Remaining calm, I text him "ok." 12:56 he pulls up. I jump in and he says a quick, insincere sorry, and we rush off towards home.

1:07 I get into class. I'm late but today the instructor wasn't in lab because we were doing our midterms so she was in the sim lab with students. I was livid and flustered all during lab because of that nonsense. I didn't yell at him, though I wanted to. He asked if I was mad because I'm hardly ever stone-cold quiet, especially when I'm mad, but I just said, "Let's talk about it after I get home from class." That scared him. He said that made him nervous and it made the whole situation worse, I'm assuming it made him just feel worse because it didn't make him angry. Goal accomplished with that!

I think doing this quiet thing when I'm mad is going to be my new thing. I don't smile at jokes, I use short and bland responses, and I make the other person wait several hours for me to "cool off" before we discuss what happened and how to fix it. Sometimes it's just nice to scare someone so that they think twice before doing stupid things again. Yep, this will be my new thing.

Also, I got 100% on my midterm for BHA! Unfortunately, it only goes into the gradebook as a pass/fail... But it's nice to finally get a good grade (my first and likely last) in nursing school. I was so happy I almost hugged my professor. She probably would have been alright with that, but we stuck with a high-five instead. I think I'll frame it and possibly post a pic later.

While I was in the sim lab doing my midterm, my classmates took a hilarious photo of one of them giving birth!!! Gosh, I'm so sad I missed it because 1) it's hilarious, 2) I want a picture in my whites because I think they are adorable, 3) I just want to have fun but I always seem to miss it! Oh well, maybe another time?

Daily Thanksgiving: I didn't yell at my brother and I discovered a more effective way to scare him and get my point across. I got to wear my whites! I got 100% on something in nursing school. I made it through another day which is all I can hope for anymore. I got to go to the mall with my friend.

In other news, I don't think the St. John's Wort is helping or working. My overwhelming feelings of dread, anxiety, helplessness, and desire to quit everything and climb into a hole are slightly better, but it's still a battle every day. Maybe I'm getting burnt out? I don't know.

I went to the mall with my friend over the weekend to get our make-up done and to spend some time with her. It was nice to finally be able to talk to someone and tell them this new thing with me actually finding guys attractive and to be able to vent about how inconvenient it is. That didn't seem to help because then we just started talking about dream dates, what we think we need/want in guys, and how our past crushes didn't fit that. Also, I talked her through a friend break up. This is a bit of a long story, but this girl friend is the one who I was super close with last year. She and I were really close with the two guy friends (one of them liked me and she was crushing on the other one pretty hard.) So, she and the guy that liked me would talk about me and the guy she liked. Does this make sense so far? Anyway, the guys decided that they didn't want to hang out with her anymore recently, because they are being silly. So, she was trying to get to the bottom of it. They were being frightfully rude and hurtful, and the two guys "friend broke-up" with my girl friend. I am still friends with all three. Still, friend drama stresses me out like nobody's business!!!

I decided retail therapy would help me so I went and dropped $100 at Target getting things I "needed" and then buyer's remorse hit me like a semi when I walked in my door. Typical me. I need a stress outlet because I keep making foolish decisions and I'm constantly overwhelmed...

C'est la vie, non?