Frustrations of Rooming with Your Brother

This year, while at college, my brother and I decided to live in an apartment together. Wise idea? It seemed like it at the time, but it's turning out to be more difficult than I expected. We are constantly "stepping on each other's toes" because he is trying to figure out how to be an adult living on his own (away from parents) while I am further maturing from my year alone last year. Needless to say, he thinks I'm bossy and I find him to be showing signs of a VERY immature prefrontal cortex. He thinks he needs a motorcycle, he assumes that I don't need to be picked up at a certain time, he makes me late for class, he wouldn't listen to me about getting a schedule that is more condusive to my schedule because we are sharing a parking pass, and he is quite certain that he is right about everything and calls me condescending a lot. Yes, I have days where I think I'm right all the time, but it's because I am right. ;) If I'm wrong then I admit to it.

What brought this rage on today? I got to wait outside for him for over an hour even though I only have an hour to go home, eat a little something, then come back to school for BHA lab after grabbing my equipment and changing. What did he decide to do today? Go to the mall. He works there, so he went to go talk to his manager, but it's 20 minutes away (when there is no traffic). He texted me, during class, asking when I get out. I told him 12.

At 12:07, I get a text asking, "So you're going to the library to study right?" Where did he ever get that from?! I never told him that and he admitted  that I never told him that. I told him I needed to be picked up and he said he would be right there.

At 12:31 he texts me saying that he is just now leaving. Ya, I thought he already had. Remaining calm, I text him "ok." 12:56 he pulls up. I jump in and he says a quick, insincere sorry, and we rush off towards home.

1:07 I get into class. I'm late but today the instructor wasn't in lab because we were doing our midterms so she was in the sim lab with students. I was livid and flustered all during lab because of that nonsense. I didn't yell at him, though I wanted to. He asked if I was mad because I'm hardly ever stone-cold quiet, especially when I'm mad, but I just said, "Let's talk about it after I get home from class." That scared him. He said that made him nervous and it made the whole situation worse, I'm assuming it made him just feel worse because it didn't make him angry. Goal accomplished with that!

I think doing this quiet thing when I'm mad is going to be my new thing. I don't smile at jokes, I use short and bland responses, and I make the other person wait several hours for me to "cool off" before we discuss what happened and how to fix it. Sometimes it's just nice to scare someone so that they think twice before doing stupid things again. Yep, this will be my new thing.

Also, I got 100% on my midterm for BHA! Unfortunately, it only goes into the gradebook as a pass/fail... But it's nice to finally get a good grade (my first and likely last) in nursing school. I was so happy I almost hugged my professor. She probably would have been alright with that, but we stuck with a high-five instead. I think I'll frame it and possibly post a pic later.

While I was in the sim lab doing my midterm, my classmates took a hilarious photo of one of them giving birth!!! Gosh, I'm so sad I missed it because 1) it's hilarious, 2) I want a picture in my whites because I think they are adorable, 3) I just want to have fun but I always seem to miss it! Oh well, maybe another time?

Daily Thanksgiving: I didn't yell at my brother and I discovered a more effective way to scare him and get my point across. I got to wear my whites! I got 100% on something in nursing school. I made it through another day which is all I can hope for anymore. I got to go to the mall with my friend.

In other news, I don't think the St. John's Wort is helping or working. My overwhelming feelings of dread, anxiety, helplessness, and desire to quit everything and climb into a hole are slightly better, but it's still a battle every day. Maybe I'm getting burnt out? I don't know.

I went to the mall with my friend over the weekend to get our make-up done and to spend some time with her. It was nice to finally be able to talk to someone and tell them this new thing with me actually finding guys attractive and to be able to vent about how inconvenient it is. That didn't seem to help because then we just started talking about dream dates, what we think we need/want in guys, and how our past crushes didn't fit that. Also, I talked her through a friend break up. This is a bit of a long story, but this girl friend is the one who I was super close with last year. She and I were really close with the two guy friends (one of them liked me and she was crushing on the other one pretty hard.) So, she and the guy that liked me would talk about me and the guy she liked. Does this make sense so far? Anyway, the guys decided that they didn't want to hang out with her anymore recently, because they are being silly. So, she was trying to get to the bottom of it. They were being frightfully rude and hurtful, and the two guys "friend broke-up" with my girl friend. I am still friends with all three. Still, friend drama stresses me out like nobody's business!!!

I decided retail therapy would help me so I went and dropped $100 at Target getting things I "needed" and then buyer's remorse hit me like a semi when I walked in my door. Typical me. I need a stress outlet because I keep making foolish decisions and I'm constantly overwhelmed...

C'est la vie, non?

Popcorn?

I just got invited to go to the movies... by a boy... I have to pick the movie, but this is proving to be a slight dilemma.

Tomorrow I work with my girls so I will talk it over with them a bit.

I'll let you guys know what happens.

Still feel free to give some input. Please, feel free.

Strange Turn of Events

So, country boy told me he was waiting for a text from me these past few weeks, so I decided to text him first tonight. We had a really odd conversation at first, not much was said. Then, by the end of the whole thing he was asking if we could hang out again. If we do, we are going to be hanging out as pals, but I have to figure out what we are going to do. What should we do? Remember, I am BROKE beyond belief. Good news: we are in an area where fishing is a definite possibility, we have rivers to play in, we could go muddin' if it rains that day, or we could find something else to do... Bad news: it against my rules to be alone with a guy (I have been down that road and it is a bad decision every time), I don't have a fishing pole, I don't hang out outside of my house and I have no idea what I even like to do let alone what there is to do around here. Folks, I'm recruiting you for advice. I really need some input. I need something from y'all, anything. Insult me (if you have to), tell me it's a bad idea or suggest something that we could do. My dear readers, save me from myself here. Remember, I am still at an age where my pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed which means that I am bad at making decisions. So, HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE, please help me.

Just got another strange text but I don't have the energy to even go on a spiel about that...

Daily Thanksgiving: My cynical day got better, then it got weirder. However, it started out really bad and got better so that's a huge bonus. I am so very grateful that today is over and tomorrow starts a new day and I can start over with a clean slate. I went to a really easy meeting at work. We talked about C. diff with our facility's pharmacist and she used a lot of microbiology and A&P terms. So, I was super stoked that I followed her whole presentation and knew the answers to all but one of her questions. Guys, I'm learning something and I see that it will actually be relevant to my career as a nurse!!! I love to learn and I get all nerdy about it so forgive that little outburst of geekiness, but learning gets me more excited than boys... that's probably a huge problem...