No, I'm not writing a book on purpose, but this post may be really long because I have had so much going on lately so I will write a shorter version and expound below for those who would rather not read my latest novel...
1) I got an apartment in an interesting complex because of my new/previous neighbors... It's good though.
2) Work is getting better.
3) My brother finally got into my university so he will be moving down with me.
4) My mom wants to move me in on Sunday, but I will be working until 3 so I don't know how that will go.
5) I was going to go see my kids (the children I babysit), but the little boy got sick. I really wanted to see them, but I'm behind in school so maybe G-d just wanted me to stay home a study a little more today.
6) Another boy asked me out...
Explainations:
1) Now, apartment shopping did not go as planned. My mom followed me down to the town my university is in (about an hour - an hour and a half drive) so that we could go look at some apartments in hopes of signing a lease and getting moved in soon. We went to one complex I had seen online and she did not like it at all. So then I took her to another complex that I really liked, she didn't. So, we went driving and exploring and found a few more. One was way too expensive and the other she loved. Turns out that the one she really likes is the one that my guy friends are moving into also! This is good because I will have them and my brother in case anything ever happens. This may not be so good because I am now in nursing school and the guys all like to hang out a lot. I have no time. Since time is such a difficult thing for me to come by, but they seem to have loads of time on their hands, I end up feeling like a bad guy for having to say no all the time because they don't like being told that I cannot do anything ever because I am bound and determined to get really good grades and become a nurse at some point, hopefully in the near future. Only G-d knows how this will end up working out. Until then, I am just relieved I got an apartment.
Since I explained that, let's talk about how nice it is! It feels really small. It's only 900-somethin' square feet, but it's better than the ones I had originally liked. It comes with a washer and dryer for no additional cost... inside of the apartment! So, I will not have to use laundry facilities because I have it in my apartment. My brother and I both have our own rooms and our own bathrooms. This will be so nice for getting ready in the morning because we will be riding together each day to save money on parking passes. We have a fireplace and a porch. We have a kitchen with plenty of counter space for making challah. Our dining room area is a lot bigger than I had expected and the living room is a decent size. So, even though it feels small now, once we put our furniture in, it will likely start to feel homier and it will be very good. Plus, it's on the second (top) floor. It is on the corner of a building and it's the very last building of the complex. So, we have tons of parking, no one banging on the floor above us, only one person directly next to us, and we have a view of the mountains. Praise the L-rd! He answered all of my requests in addition to providing me an apartment and money to pay the rent! It would have been sufficient to just let us have an apartment that I can afford, but He threw in all the things I wanted and lots of things I didn't even now I wanted!
2) Do y'all remember how miserable I used to be at work? Did I ever tell you about it? That was more of a rhetorical question because I can't remember and I'm talking to myself and then writing it down... Anywho, I used to hate work because I am slow, never know what I'm doing, and I felt like a failure most of the time because I would make the other CNA's get behind. Plus, I don't ever really feel like anyone likes me, so that played into my dislike of work a lot too. For the past month or so, however, I have been working a little more than full time hours and I have been making lots of money for my apartment. Since I'm working so much, I am getting a little faster and I made friends! I think they may actually agree that we are friends too because I'm not always the one to instigate the conversations, they come and talk to me just to see how life is really going. Then, they even share their life happenings, many of which are hard and require trust in order to tell me their situations. So, I now don't mind work so much and I don't feel like a failure at work as often! This may sound odd, but it's good news.
3) He found out yesterday! I was wondering if he would actually get in because it is so close to the time when I need to move down there and he needs to get classes and he wasn't sure if he would be able to come with me. But, right after we signed the lease and he went back up to our hometown (he came down with my mom yesterday to look at apartments), he called the school and they told him he got in! Now I don't have to find a new roommate and I will get to live with my best friend, my brother. He drives me nuts, we drive each other nuts, but we also know how to live to together and we are actually pretty good together. Plus, it will be safer living with him than it would be if I were to live with another girl.
4) This is just a case of my parents loving me so much that they want to rush me into my apartment so that I don't have to drive an hour and a half both ways every day while I live at home. I left my friends house for a little while because I am homesick and I did something very stupid which is still a sore subject. I will tell you guys all about it another day though, once the sting has worn off. So, hopefully I can find a replacement for Sunday so that I don't have to miss moving into my apartment and so that my family doesn't have to do it all themselves because that's not fair for them!
5) This one is self-explanatory really. I haven't seen these kids in a really long time, since my birthday in the beginning of April actually, so I was going to go see them today. Unfortunately, the little boy puked, so his mom texted me and told me I could come if I wanted to, but she would understand if I didn't want to. I think this is actually a blessing in disguise. I feel so bad that he is not feeling well, especially because he is a toddler and toddlers do not take illness well. On the other hand, it is really good because I was stressing out about school because I am a bit behind of where I should be right now. So, now I will get caught up and I can go see them another time real soon. We may even be able to go to the pool instead of me having to leave early from the visit because I have to go to school the same day.
6) Now, this totally blindsided me and it's kind of a long story so hang with me. The girl I was staying with lives in a forest in the town I go to university in. There was a fire near her house and her and her mom were evacuated from their house which means I got evacuated too. We went and stayed at their friends house. At this house, the son had the whole basement to himself. He has a little living room with couches, a bathroom and his bed. So the three of us crashed in his basement while he went and stayed at his grandparents house because they were out of town anyway. I stayed there 4 days without ever meeting him, even though I was sleeping in his bed, using his bathroom, and getting to know his mom. He would come over for dinner every day, but I was working late and he always left before I arrived at his house so our paths never crossed. One day, I didn't have to work late so I actually ate dinner with them. We were all sitting in the living room eating because we were glued to the t.v. and all of a sudden they lifted the evacuation zone so that we could get back in! He and his friend (who also lives at their house) came with us to help us move back in and to make sure everything was safe. Then he texted my friend and asked her for my number. That was such a surprise. I thought he was cute, but since I'm refusing to date my other guy friend, I knew nothing could happen. Plus, I was certain that he did not like me back because I am just not the kind of girl guys typically ask out randomly. So she told me the whole situation, asked if she could give him my number and then he started texting me. We had only talked for a couple hours while we were waiting for the barricades to be lifted and I was so shocked when she told me the whole story.
So, he and I started texting for a couple days, just getting to know each other. He asked if I had a boyfriend and also asked what I look for in a guy. Haha, this poor kid doesn't know me at all! I kept it friendly and told him I don't know what I look for in a guy because I'm waiting for G-d to show me who I'm supposed to be with. Then he asked my friend and I to the movies with him and his friend. I declined because us girls do not have free time and we are not looking to date. He kept it friendly for a couple more days, then he asked me to dinner. Ahhhhhh! I don't know what to do with that. I've never been on a real date and that sounds like it's pretty close to a real date. I told him I couldn't but offered to go to coffee instead. He accepted and we talked for a solid hour and a half, but it only felt like 10 minutes.
I have yet to tell him that I'm not looking to get a boyfriend and I don't think he will like my boundaries if we ever were anything more than friends because we have very different morals. Those differences though will probably keep me from allowing this to become more than friends though.
But, he like muddin', hunting, fishing, working on engines, racing, and so many other things that I find so much fun! He is very masculine with dark hair, dark eyes, a souped up truck, and he is kind of a country boy that is stuck living in the city. He wants to be an EMT but he already has an Associate's degree in diesel mechanics and he is really smart. I have a think for country boys with souped up trucks and dark eyes... This doesn't seem like it can work though because he is Catholic, which is good because he is a believer, but our beliefs are very different. So, maybe G-d wants us to get married down the road, but for right now it seems like I am getting a "no-go" from the L-rd as far as dating is concerned.
After we went to coffee though, he hasn't texted me. It's been two days... I always wondered why it was such a big deal of who texts first after a "date" (I don't really consider this coffee meeting an actual date). I'm starting to understand it a little more though. If I text him, then I am not sure if he really likes me or not. If he texts me, then he may think that I am not interested in putting in the effort to text him. In my opinion, the guy should be in control. He should text/call first after a date. He needs to show the girl that he is interested in her and she has to be responsible to tell the guy that she is/isn't interested in furthering the relationship with him. I'm super traditional and old-fashioned though.
So, I am flattered that he thought I was cute and worth while because I still see myself as the chubby kid in class that thought she was ugly because she always hung out with really pretty girls who got asked out (since first or second grade on). Also, he thought I was attractive when I thought he was attractive too. I had a little crush on him from the time he went home that night from helping us back in all through work the next day but I doubted that anything would come of it because I was a mess, I said stupid things, and I'm not one of those pretty girls that guys usually ask out. I know that I am beautifully made, and very intricately designed, but I have a hard time believing that guys thing I'm pretty. This boy told my friend he thought I was gorgeous. That's a flat out lie and probably a line to get her to give him my number. Whatever, I had a small dose of confidence for a few days, especially since he said I was gorgeous even though my hair was up and a total wreck, my face was breaking out, and I was stressed because of work, school, and being homeless from the evacuation (their house is fine, I just felt homeless because I was displaced from living with my friend and it felt like I was living out of my car).
Now, I also feel guilty for even going to coffee with this guy because I have another guy that has a thing for me. I was not made for anything like this, I am not used to it, and I do not know how people even try to date two people at one time. I'm not even dating either one of them but I feels like I am in two separate relationships.
End of story for now.
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