I went out to dinner the other night with a dear friend and my mentor. She also just happens to be the lady that I babysit for. My goodness she is such a blessing!
She takes time out of her ridiculously busy schedule to ask me to dinner and sit talking with me for 2 hours. Not to mention, the drive to come to this dinner is 30 minutes from her home. Never have I really had someone speak over my life like she has. She encourages me, makes me cry with her kindness, and lets me know when I'm being silly and need to not do something. For someone who does not trust easily, I very much trust her (as much as I can trust a person) and I feel I would do anything for her. In fact, I almost postponed going to college so that I could stay at her house and help her with her 4 amazing kids through a very difficult journey for their family. If you don't have someone like this in your life, you need to start praying for them now! G-d speaks straight to my heart through her so much I can't even tell you. I don't even mention things in my life and somehow He tells her and she brings it up and talks me through it. She is my mentor, a very dear friend and someone I aspire to be like when I grow up.
Something she has recently brought to my attention is the fact that I don't trust anyone/anything, I worry (even more than I thought, surprising, I know!), and I am at my best when I am serving (as observed by others, not just me).
The trust thing was new for me. It encompasses why I refuse the flu shot. I don't trust that this silly vaccine, that comes out every year, is supposed to do me any good. In fact, there is some data suggesting that it is actually harmful. So, what's the truth? I don't want to get it, but my G-d is bigger than anyone trying to harm me, so if it is required, is it worth it to just get the stupid shot? If it is meant for harm, G-d can make it completely unharmful. Even knowing this, is it okay to submit and accept the vaccine just to get a different job in a hospital? I would only do it until I can move somewhere else that is still allowing us to make our decisions freely and not bullying us into injecting toxins and "inactive" viruses into our arms or snuffing said "inactive" viruses up our nose in the name of health. This is America after all, but less and less is able to be up to us... Still, I understand that I chose this profession and that means possibly accepting all of the terms of the job, including this flu shot. I'm still at a fork in this road. I have no clue what to do because I hate to back down after fighting so hard to not get the shot. Not because of pride, just because I don't trust that this vaccine is in my best interest. More on this later...
In other news, school starts in a week and this week is packed for me! I work 7 shifts (3 doubles and an evening shift) at my CNA job and I also begin my new IT job on campus this week. I also have to order books and pray that they come in before I have to start my classes because I was thinking I would get my financial aid refund check this last Friday but that didn't happen... So, I'm freaking out about rent, books, and the millions of other things I have to do this week to get ready for this next crazy semester of school.
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