Short Tangent

Do you guys mind if I have a minor meltdown here online?

I am going insane with all my friends getting married and having babies. My best friend (the one that asked me out in middle school) got married our senior year of high school (last year). Plus, his wife just had a baby a month or so ago. They were married for a little over a year, so everything was squared away there, but still! One of my friends got married this summer. Another friend got married today. Not to mention, so many others who are having babies (married or not) or getting married here shortly. Is this phenomenon weird for anyone else? As soon as high school is over (sometimes before high school is done), everyone has the urge to get hitched. What's up with that? Marriage is cool and all, I just need a little warning is all. I learned about my best friends marriage, and baby, through his sisters posts on Facebook, which plumb breaks my heart. One friend texted me when she got engaged, so I had some warning for her. But the friend that got married today didn't tell anyone anything. She just up and posted she was married on FB and announced they would have a ceremony come spring.

I am starting to be able to better deal with my friends getting married while I do not have a boyfriend yet or any plans to get married. This used to be a very touchy and sore subject for me. But I just need a little heads up. A bit of notice is all. Perhaps a little notice would allow me some time to digest the information and go through my processing cycle (which just happens to be a lot like the grief cycle as of yet). Just a little bit of time to hear the news, be sad, then slightly angry, then depressed, then I can move on to accept it... eventually. These cycles usually last a few months though. G-d is really working on me with this sadness about marriage thing. After my friend got married this summer, I have not had another bout with this ugly mess of me during the "marriage cycle". But it still stings. I know it stems from self-pity, which is really a slap in G-d's face, and He is allowing me to grow tremendously. This growth doesn't make it go away completely though and I want to be real with you guys because maybe someone out there experiences this kind of stuff too. I don't know if anyone does or not though, so I post it just in-case.

Regardless, I am grateful I have never had a boyfriend because I think all of this would be a lot harder on me if I had one (either currently or at some time in the past). All of this news about my best friend would have been much harder to swallow because it would have been my ex-boyfriend instead of a boy I merely hung out with a ton for about three years. Never-the-less, it still breaks my heart I couldn't find out from him. It sucks I can't meet his wife and his new baby boy, but c'est la vie.

Sorry about the length, my short tangent morphed into a full-fledged rant! That seems to happen a lot with me, huh? Well, I really appreciate you reading, or just allowing me to vent (even if you don't read it).