It's about time!

I figured I would try to stop my negativity from coming through so heavily and let you know the fun I have been having this summer!

I volunteered at a local rodeo which wasn't super fun, but I did get to watch bits and pieces throughout and there was a dance afterwards that I went to. The first night we went dancing I went with my buddy (Big Red) who is very much a city girl and happy to be. That's cool, I don't judge. I ended up convincing my new Roommate (I need to find her a nickname).

OH MAN! We were standing watching the dancing and a cowboy came over and asked to dance with me!!! No, I don't know how to dance. I was forthcoming with this information and he told me it was no big deal, he would teach me. <3 I was being twirled and guided and the smile on my face never left. Unfortunately, I did not get his number but he was just a sweet guy that was dancing with all the wallflowers.

A couple of days ago Roommate took me to ride her new horses and now I NEED one. No joke. I NEED a horse more than I need air. Well, maybe not that much. I am so excited she has horses though because that means that I can ride them too! We also went to the county fair out where she lives and watch another rodeo. Then we got to talk to her guy friends that she introduced me to about 5 years ago when we first met and it turns out they live down the road from us in the city. I knew they went to my university because they would come by and visit with me when I was working my IT job. Anywho, they are a hoot and I'm so excited for this coming year.

Have y'all ever heard of sugar gliders? There was a table at the fair with a guy selling them. They're kinda strange looking, but really cute. They love to cuddle and fly. Just watch...

Roommate and I saw them and decided we really wanted one. They were grossly overpriced at the fair so we started shopping around with some of her friends that have them. Well, one of their family friends heard that we wanted one and he bought it for her/us! So, now we have one of these little critters. She and I are kind of a dangerous mix because we both love animals... but we live in an apartment... I'll give y'all a whole bio about Roomie another day.

Oooh! I got to go camping with my family and extended family. Three days of nothing was absolutely beautiful. We got to make s'mores, I ate way more than I should have but hey, it was my vacation.

Can I rant again?

After several months of searching my town for a new and cheaper housing option with my new roommate, we came up empty. Instead,  we decided to stay at the apartment I had shared with my brother just so that we would have a place that was permanent.

I like this apartment but they jacked up the prices WAY too much! At first they wanted me to go from $845/month to $970/month. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?! Seriously, what makes them believe they are ever going to get that amount? That's just insane, especially considering that they were only going to charge $940 for a brand new renter to start a lease.

We waited a few months and looked around until they came down to $930 and I convinced them to let me sign for that new signers amount. I had called to renew and then they emailed me to confirm our conversation. That email got "lost" for a few weeks and they called me in a panic saying they were going to make me pay about $1080 a month if I didn't call back to tell them to renew the lease. Ridiculous. In that time, however, the price of my apartment dropped again by another $25-30.

I checked online to make sure and then I asked them in the email what the going rate was for at that time. They told me I would be able to renew @ $970 again. No, that's not happening. So I forwarded the email that confirmed my price without wanting to fight them anymore and realized right after I signed the lease that I should have called in (but I was camping and had no service in addition to it being a weekend after the office was already closed) and gotten them to give me the $905 it was being advertised for on their site.

Promptly after realizing that, I emailed them to ask why they didn't inform me of the actual price and gave me a grossly inflated price. That was about a week ago and they still have not replied.

Now I am just ridiculously angry and they are fixin' to get the gnarly end of a strongly worded phone call. Well, I say that but I can never be angry on the phone because I don't like to frustrate other people or hurt their feelings. But it is not okay to be taking advantage of people just because you assume they don't know any better than the information you give them!

I am so tired of people taking advantage of me. Praise the L-rd that He is teaching me how to stand up for myself while still being nice and considerate and not just a raging lunatic. The stress in my life was overwhelming before and now it is just absolutely unbearable. Summer is not supposed to be like this!!!

Healing at Random

Months after Country Boy's death and my subsequent daily breakdowns for a couple of months, G-d has been showing me how far the grieving has come in the most random ways. Yes, I am still heart-broken that it happened and I am selfishly mad that he left, but I've come a long way.

Today while catching up on some of my favorite blogs, I came across this article by Shepherd of the Gurneys. He then added a link to Eat, Think, and Be Merry's article, "A Perspective on Suicide." Needless to say, it brought tears to my eyes and my heart is currently feeling a bit bruised, but I'm reminded that G-d has brought me so very far. He also has the mercy to give me a heart that still cares and can still be broken, though. Even though it sucks right now, I'm glad that I can feel sad and be able to mourn the death of a young man I had just barely met.

I encourage you to read the article linked above. One quote says, "Suicide was not a choice he made, but rather a choice he happened onto when his pain was greater than his ability to cope." How fitting for CB. Unfortunately, I am still under the impression that I may have been a slight adage to the pain, but I don't think it was my fault.

I'm gonna go grab some tissues...

Joys of Night Shift

As I've recently mentioned, I am now working in the hospital! Actually, I'm in a float pool between a few hospitals and I work primarily as a patient sitter.

I like this new job. Actually, I was scared about it because when I first got my CNA job in the long term are facility, life SUCKED! Oh man, they hazed me and I had to get used to patients with sun-downers and dementia and all sorts of other nuances that come with elderly care. This new job, however, allows me to typically focus on just one patient. Occasionally, I have multiple patients, but still it is never really more than 4-5.

Last night I was in charge of two patients. Both were conked out pretty hard because they had busy days and a few nights of hardly any sleep preceeding that. Yay! That means loads of time to read. Seriously, have I mentioned how much I love this job? On top of all that I get a differential for being float pool, a differential for working over night, and holiday pay of time and a half. Dude, is this for real?!

Anywho, last night was fine. I had to sit in the hall between both patient's rooms and there was another cluster of three patients requiring another sitter directly next to mine. Super! I got to have company all night long. We were talking most of the night when we started to hear some odd noises in one of the patient rooms. Neither of us were assigned to that particular room, but it just happened to be in our territory. We ignored the sounds because it didn't sound like the pt was in pain or scared or needed anything. As time went on, however, we started hearing grunts. They got louder and some groans were mixed in. Sheets were heard rustling and the patient got louder and louder. My CNA buddy and I peeked in and the patient was (in her words) "jerking off"!!! Oh my goodness! He knew we were outside the door because he called to us periodically throughout our shift for water or help going to the bathroom or what-have-you.

I wish I could un-hear that whole thing. My innocence is being stolen from me and I can't do anything to prevent it. I can't get it back and I seriously think I'm scarred from this whole experience.

Yikes. Well, at least I have not yet encountered patients any more physically intimate than just making out (they were dementia patients). Good news, though, I had some serious comic relief last night after I got over the initial shock and laughed so ridiculously hard for about 10 minutes I was crying.  Plus, I now have all sorts of fun stories and memories to make me laugh for a lifetime and I've only been a CNA for a year and a half. Just wait until I've been a nurse for my whole life!