Pinterest Struggles...

It has consumed my time. It has made me dream of my future while also allowing me to show others what I fantasize it will be like. It has also stirred this desire for a beau. Old story with me, I know and I'm sorry.

Does anyone else get like this? I have no prospects, nor do I really know any eligible bachelors, let alone ones that have the same morals and boundaries as me, but I still find myself hoping that G-d will bring me someone... yesterday (aka right now; I never understood that saying until a few years ago but my mom had been using it since I was a little kid!).

I don't understand what's wrong with me! I used to be okay being independent, single, and focused on school. I didn't understand the attraction to boys and I was fine looking and acting like a boy. Now I walk down the halls, minding my own business, and there are cute boys everywhere. Maybe I'm just now hitting puberty? Perhaps G-d really will bring me someone. Maybe I'm just going nuts and should see a professional to get some meds. I don't know. Regardless, this nonsense has got to stop because I am having a rough time focusing on school. It's not really the fault of the general population of males, I guess it's my own fault for finally "seeing" them.

Pinterest has got some cute date ideas though! Also, I fit the country girl description to a T, except for the fact that my country born/raised father raised me up in the city. He still raised me a country girl, but I haven't had the pleasure of knowing everyone in town and being able to go to bonfires with my own friends. Don't get me wrong, I've been to plenty! But my dad is usually the one to start the bonfire party so I was supervised the whole time.

Oy, this is an issue. Life would be so much simpler if: I could just stay a tomboy, focus on school, remain satisfied single, not procrastinate, I had never found Pinterest, and if I could just not "see" silly boys as the handsome guys G-d made you to be...


Side note to guys: Y'all drive us nuts! You can lift 15x more than us girls. Your metabolisms are generally a LOT faster than ours so you can eat just about anything you want. Muscles look way better on you than they do on us. Baseball caps look amazing on you, especially when you're rocking Wranglers or Levi's and some slightly muddy cowboy boots. For some reason you guys know how to fix darn near everything from the washer to the car to the sprinkler system. Your faces look so darn cute with a bit of grease on it. Your sleepy voice, when it's especially deep and a bit scratchy is adorable. When your hair is mussed up it still looks good and I love how when a tall, broad shouldered boy makes me feel small and petite when I'm standin' next to him. Guys, I have heard a lot about how you like the little things us girls do, but the little things you do make us pretty doggone happy too. So, boys, don't underestimate how much we like you and all your male-ness. Let us girls jump in and have some fun too, though. Some of us like fixin' trucks, going muddin', lightin' stuff on fire (it makes my heart happy, but not when it's destructive/bad... just bonfires and stuff), fishin', and shootin'. Also, if you teach us how to watch/play football, you may just have a new football fan to scream at the t.v. with because, let's face it, us girls look pretty darn good in one of your over-sized jerseys.


I better go do my homework and get down on my knees to pray that G-d snap me out of this! It's like the Scotty McCreery song, "The Trouble With Girls," but I am starting to feel the same way about boys... It really seems like my friends already went through this stage in 5th or 6th grade. Here I am, almost 20, just now beginning this inconvenient journey.

Daily Thanksgiving: Today was long, but it was a fairly good day. Perhaps the St. John's Wort is working or maybe it's just a placebo effect. I'm not overly happy, but I'm not down in the dumps. Every day not spent at the bottom makes me think that I can survive and G-d will bring me through because I know He is the only one that can, and He will. I get to go to sleep! Also, I did my hair and my makeup and wore my favorite outfit. My friend said I looked pretty and that made me feel pretty good. I like compliments :)

Popcorn?

I just got invited to go to the movies... by a boy... I have to pick the movie, but this is proving to be a slight dilemma.

Tomorrow I work with my girls so I will talk it over with them a bit.

I'll let you guys know what happens.

Still feel free to give some input. Please, feel free.

Summer Wrap-Up

I have just realized recently that I only have a month of my summer "vacation" left! This week I have 3 tests in Microbiology (1 for lecture, 1 for lab, and 1 comprehensive final that would be sure to fail me if I didn't have G-d helping me through life). The following week I begin my week-long nutrition course which involves 2 tests, homework, and case studies all within that short week. I end that with hanging out with some autistic/special needs kids for about 5 hours and then I am on real summer break... for 2 weeks. Those 2 weeks consists of 4 shifts one week and 7 the next. So, I will hopefully have a whopping 88 hours or so (a lot of those hours are paid time and a half because I'm working doubles almost every day I go in!).

I'm pretty excited to be able to work and not have to do class assignments or readings. I like being able to focus on just work because school is getting on my nerves. Prereques are anyways. Fortunately, clinicals start next semester (Spring) and this semester is all about the fundamental knowledge of nursing! So, it'll be tough and full of memorization, but it will be good.

Maybe once school starts I will be able to post some more interesting stuff. I was reading over some of my past posts and my personal life is so boring! I'm sorry guys.

Work went well though. It was rainy out, so most of my residents were tired and sleeping. This was good, but it also made some strange behaviors surface that I have not seen from them in a really long time. I guess they'll be like that again in the winter time, but that's a ways away.

Living with my brother is still going well. We are actually getting along like we're pals. He keeps cooking and doing dishes for me and I am convinced that if he can keep this up through marriage, his wife will be quite pleased.

I texted country boy last night, we didn't say much because he was at a baseball game. I don't think there is anything with us though. I am too weird in my boundaries and morals, nobody is able to mesh with my outlandish ideals. Maybe G-d has somebody out there for me, but I don't think I've met him yet.

Daily Thanksgiving: Work went well. Texting is beginning to settle down for me. My ex-roommate has not texted back after I refused to reply to hers. Country boy isn't texting me and the other weird messages have ceased for the moment. My brother started his job today and we are getting along well.