Better Ending

I had two tests this week: Pharmacology and my Pharm Math midterm.

Pharm: 70% Not great but G-d gave me a better score than I was expecting. I need to bring my average up though to an average above 74% for all tests otherwise I fail the class.

Pharm Math: 82%. This is terrible! It was all easy math and some simple conversion. I labeled my answers when they weren't pre-labeled and I showed all my work. I don't know how I got a B- but I probably just made a bunch of dumb mistakes. Nursing school always catches me off-guard.


I went home to see my parents this weekend. It was really nice to eat a Shabbat dinner with them and we talked for hours! It's amazing how much changes in a month and a half when I am not there to hear about it every night.

I emailed my bosses at my current nursing home job about possibly transferring to the hospital as a CNA. I just got an amazing recommendation letter from one of them and it made me feel really good. Hopefully G-d provides me with a new job that pays better and at a place where I can learn more about actual nursing instead of just the CNA side of it. We'll see.

Pinterest has currently caught most of my attention. Presently I am planning for all sorts of fun things like my perfect dates, cute outfits and make-up for said dates, adorable hairstyles, and my wedding. This is not a good idea. Between Pinterest and country music, I can tell that I am going to bottom out really bad soon. I even started watching love stories because I hope that it will be me. This is completely irrational because love stories are totally made up and that kind of stuff doesn't happen to girls like me. Still, I am finding it difficult to stay away from these things so that I can focus on school and real life. I just want a cowboy boyfriend that has all 573 characteristics that I have written down to love me, and start dating me right now, and then marry me after we're both finished with college. Is that too much to ask? I'm pretty sure my plan is not G-d's plan, but I keep asking Him for it anyway... His thoughts are higher than my thoughts and His ways are higher than my ways. He has a plan for my life which may or may not include a beau or husband, but my sinful heart is desiring a boy. How foolish is that?! Is it just me or do others of you have these kind of silly desires that don't seem to match what G-d wants for you but you can't let go of them? If you can let go of them, how do you?

I need some seriously professional help.

Good news: My Mocha latte is kicking in and I hope to get some homework/studying done today!

Bad news: The guy made it wrong because I asked for it to be made with soy but he used whole milk... I'm lactose intolerant... Boy, I wish my body made the right enzymes so that I can eat the Italian and French food that I'm always craving. My grandparents are Cajun, Italian, French, and a few other things, but most of our bloodlines come from places that use a lot of dairy products. My family is all pretty much okay with everything, except for me. I can't seem to eat anything anymore. h well, it's a good motivator to eat salads, plain chicken, and generally healthy food. Throw in some Chick-fil-a every once in a while and I am set.

Daily Thanksgiving: I got to go home. I got to see my puppy and my parents. My mother is a fantastic Italian cook and we got so much good food! G-d got us back to our apartment safely despite the crazy drivers, ridiculous amount of construction, and general crazy driving skills I possess. I'm learning how to do my make-up (normally I wear 0 make-up or just cover up when my face is breaking out) and I feel a little bit pretty even though beauty "comes from the inside". I believe that it does, but it's so cliche and sometimes it's good to feel pretty on the outside too. My grades are somewhat decent. I have a clean room! (This makes my brother happier than it makes me, but it's good to have a happy roommate.)
 
Off to do some school work. Have a good rest of your weekend!

Movie Birthday Night

After a long first week of college for my brother and I, we are kickin' back tonight. We rented some movies, got some ice cream (non-dairy for me) and some root beer and we plan to have a good night. Today, he turned 18 which means that my baby brother is now an adult! I still think of him as a kid because we still act like kids around each other. In fact, we are going to make a pillow fort in our living room (we live together in an off-campus apartment) and we plan to stay in our fort all of tomorrow while watching our movies and eating our root beer floats. It sounds like a pretty neat 18th birthday to me, but I didn't do much for my 18th. It seems like he wants to go out with friends to celebrate and maybe catch a movie in the theater and go out to dinner but he doesn't know enough people to do that yet and I'm sure he doesn't want to hang out with all of my friends.

This got me to thinkin': I wish I were more creative and thoughtful. Now, I am highly introspective, to a fault. I over-think things all the time and drive all of my friends and family crazy because it seems like I talk a lot, but that is only to myself because I never shut up in my head but I don't vocalize what I'm thinking very much. Anyway, I would like to be like those people that can actually do the Pinterest posts and make stuff super creative and nice looking. I would love to do special things for all of my family and friends on their birthdays, or for any celebration/pick-me-up that may be needed. Unfortunately, I have ideas to surprise them with, but nothing ever works out as planned, nor does anything ever look as good as Pinterest... I'm just not a creative person. I am a science and math brained type of person. I like to have an unknown and a set way to find it. I do not like creating something from nothing and I never have "brain-children". So, here I am, having a slumber party with brother for his 18th birthday party. Oy!

But, we made it through the first week of college though! That means that while the rest of the year will be filled with tons of work, we will be finished with it soon. Plus, next semester, I have clinicals to look forward to!!!

Disappointing End, But Finished Nonetheless

I got a 65% on my micro comprehensive final and received a B in the class overall. I am disappointed with myself, but I'm finished with the class and passed it so that's good.

My visit with my mom was wonderful. She took us out to dinner and having someone else cook whatever you feel like eating is a beautiful treat.

Today, Sunday, is the day I usually work but I took it off to begin studying and reading for my week-long nutrition class. I am slightly more motivated to do well in this class because I don't want any more B's ever again in my college career. A-'s are hard enough to bear, I can't stand anything lower than that. I have discovered that I am more inclined to study before I am stressed out and behind for a class. So, that's what I'm doing today. When I get behind and feel so pressured, I just want to throw in the towel. Therefore, from now on, I am going to try to stay ahead of the game to keep my cortisol levels down, some anxiety at bay, and maybe I will even have some free-time this year! Doubt it, but it could happen.

Off to the grocery store to buy things for Chicken Coconut soup. It sounds weird, I know. But it's not sweet and it's lactose and gluten intolerant friendly. I am slightly lactose intolerant, it makes my face break out and sometimes makes me sick. It's really unfortunate though because I love creamy, milk laden, meals and cheese. So, coconut milk gives me the sense that I am eating what I used to be able to eat and enjoy. I'll post the recipe soon.

Daily Thanksgiving: Micro is complete. I don't have work today. I get to eat Coconut Chicken Soup!