I am down to one test, and my paper (but I'm just not going to finish that by tomorrow's peer edit). Today's test was in psych and I really don't think that I did well at all. I'm so scared that I'm going to fail all of my tests because of my procrastination and lack of studying last week and the week before. Oh well, it's my fault and hopefully this will teach me to start studying in advance, even though it would be much more fun to go play outside with my friends. Tomorrow is my last A&P test for the week and it's really freaking me out because I'm so lost in the material. L-rd willing, I will get a good grade on this test, but He is the only One who can get me a good grade because A&P is killing me!
After my test, P (my guy friend) came over to do homework and to keep me focused on studying. He was over for nearly 3 hours and I hardly did anything. Then he went to dinner, which I skipped, and when he came back I had only taken a little nap. But he stayed for another 4 hours and we finished my study questions! The sweet kid took 5 pages of notes for me as I talked out the study questions. Z (my super close girl friend) says he's fallen pretty hard for me, which I don't understand, but he is such a kind-hearted guy. I've never had anyone push me to study as hard as he did and he's always saying that he's rooting for me. This is such a different experience than I thought it would be. I figured that since I'm so awkward and strange, I would always have a hard time being around people, especially if I ever got into a relationship (we are still pre-relationship status...). However, with P, it's so easy to just be me. When I'm sleepy and just want to lay there, he will sit with me. When I had a super hard day, he wants to hear about every little thing that happened (as much as I am allowed to say with HIPPA and all). When I'm happy or sad about something, he is happy or sad with me. I can be goofy, stressed, upset, exstatic or anything and he is right there with me. He shows me grace when I say ridiculous stuff that could have upset him. He respects my boundaries and is often times encouraging me to do the best that I can and work to get better. He shows me patience and kindness in all he does with me and he teaches me so much about his world while still wanting to learn about mine. He despises needles, shots, and blood, but he still listens to me vent about cadavers and medical stuff. He also teaches me about sports and music and random stuff he is into. I also tell him the random little health facts about everything that I think of and he seems interested in those totally random tidbits. Not even my family pretends to like those! I know that we are still in the early stages of a possible relationship, and G-d will have to tell me if P is the one or not, but through this friendship, I am learning that there is hope for me after all.
I could go on and on about my past and what this friendship is growing into, but I will leave that to another post, or other posts, because I need to get back to studying for anatomy!
Daily Thanksgiving: I am very thankful that G-d has allowed me to meet P, Z, and B (the roommate of P). G-d is teaching me so much about relationships through these friends of mine, not just "romantic" relationships (another gross word), but I have learned so much about grace and I have found other people like me. We are all fairly soft-spoken and we have been used by the world because we are all kind and willing to give the shirts off our backs. I am thankful that I have gotten in so much studying and also that I only have one more paper to do. Also, I am thankful for Cloverton's music and also Francesca Battistelli's music for being my soundtrack to study by when P is over.
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