Sinking Feeling

Hey guys, I got my grades back from all of my tests last week. I got a B on all of them... I am so frustrated with myself! I totally could have studied more and studied harder and for longer, but I didn't. So, I got a B on my anatomy lecture and lab tests, and also a B on my Psych exam. Now I'm just waiting for my English paper to be graded because I turned that in today, with a sinking suspicion that I did not do well. The only good grade I got all last week was a 19/20 on my chem quiz. Yes, I know that B's are not the end of the world, nor are they bad grades, I am simply frustrated with myself because this was my last chance to bring my grades up in Anatomy and in Chem, but I blew it! Well, I haven't taken my chem test yet, that's on Wednesday and I better get to studying for it right now.

I am so stressed out about grades, the HESI, summer classes, school, housing next year and verything else, I think I may just have a panic attack...

These types of days make me wonder how I think I can even get into nursing school. Or, how can I make it as a nurse? I don't know how this is going to happen because I can't even get through the prereques with good grades and sanity, how am I ever supposed to go through nursing school and be an RN? The only way is by complete miracles from G-d because everyone, especially me, knows that I cannot do this!

Moving on to daily thanksgivings... I am thankful that I get to go home this weekend for my parent's 19th wedding anniversary. I am finished with last week and will be able to pick up and move on because I can't change my tests now. I am finished with Monday and I have amazing friends who are supporting me through my ridiculous bouts with anxiety and random spurts of depression. G-d has truly blessed me with incredible, supportive, sweet people to help me through so many struggles, even when they are all in my head (which is the majority of the time). Also, G-d didn't let me fail one test last week. Even though I am not pleased with my grades, He provided me with decent grades and if He wants me to have A's, then I will have A's. If not, then I will be thankful that He allows me to pass my prereques.