Flat Tire Services

New announcement y'all: BedpanAlley is starting a tire changing business!!!

It turns out that I am super great at changing flat tires. I've done it TWICE this week alone! What is up with all my friends getting flat tires? I love changing them and I really love being the one that is called in cases of "emergency" regardless of how bad it may actually be but dang. Are people dropping mass amounts of nails out of the backs of semi's? Are there tack strips being laid out? What's the deal?

Anyway, I feel super cool that I know how to do it and guys stop by to ask if I need help but I get to tell them I've got it. I'm sort of a feminist if you haven't caught that yet, so being able to be independent in every possible way is important to me. Well, if they were my age then I may just let them take over, but they're usually my dad's age.

Service list with prices to come soon...

Finals are Finally Finished!

Yes, I was trying to use alliteration. I am that nerdy that I like to do silly stuff like that, and I'm cheesy.

Anyway, I took my last final exam of freshman year and I am officially finished with my first year of college!!! Y'all, I thought I would be happier, but it's really bitter sweet. This is the last night in my dorm room. I will likely never live this close to my friends every again and I will not be eating all my meals with them and seeing them all day, every day. While I am happy to be out of school for the summer (one whole week for me), I am also very sad that this year has come to an end. It was really exciting and I had a lot of fun. I also learned a ton in my classes and even more about people. It also seems that I have learned a lot about myself too. I am stronger than I ever thought. I am able to rely on G-d even though I make terrible mistakes. Also, I am capable of making friends.

That last one was a huge deal for me because I have lived my whole life wondering what is wrong with me and why people will not hang out with me. It turns out that I am nice to everyone and the people that really jump on nice people are people that may not be so nice themselves. So, while I am a little bit nuts and may not be a great friend, I am not the only problem in the majority of the failed friendships I have been a part of in the past. Confrontation, forgiveness, courage, and independence (from people, but dependence on G-d) are huge lessons that I began to learn this year. Of course I am not anywhere near through learning these yet, but I have a pretty good start on them.

Another huge one is that I can be liked by a boy. I have been "liked" just like I have been "friends" with people. In reality, it just means that I am being used and walked on. While I am very grateful for the experiences and lessons I have learned from these people, I am even more glad that G-d showed me that I can be cared for too. This is a big deal for me. It seems like all my life I care for everyone around me so deeply, but I never see that caring reciprocated. In this recent case, I'm liked back and someone likes the way I smile and laugh. He likes me for me and respects my boundaries... once I get around to discussing those with him (which I also did tonight).  I was fearfully and wonderfully made. Someday, I can be cherished by a man. Perhaps I will be married to a guy someday, that loves G-d more than he loves me. And he will love me more than he loves the things of this world. But, our marriage will be based on G-d, first and foremost. This is possible, despite the many shortcomings I find in myself and the various doubts the Adversary tries to sneak into my brain.

Daily Thanksgivings: G-d gives me the words I need to explain what He has impressed upon my heart. He protects me and guides me through the various problems and struggles I have in this life. I am cherished by the Creator of the Universe and someday He will teach a man how to cherish me too. Freshman year has come to an end and I have made so many friends and learned so very much. Finals are over!!!

Apartment Hunting

This is a difficult job because it is so time consuming. While it is exciting, it is also a tedious and exhausting process, but hopefully we will find a great apartment and get to move in this summer! It's kind of frustrating though because really nice places pop up in my search and I can't wait until I can afford a nicer place, but that will not be for a very, very long time. Probably like 8 years... Thank you loans and student debt!

I am so excited though. I will get to have a shotgun of my very own in my room and I will be a big girl living without parental ties. Right now I have everything that I can't use at school at home with my parents, but after this summer, that will no longer be the case. Too bad I can't just live with them because I would have good food and no rent or bills to pay, but that just won't work right now. Maybe I can live with them while I am completing my Midwife courses!

Anyway, Shabbat Shalom! I hope y'all have a good day of rest and I hope you actually get to rest and thank G-d for this beautiful day.

Daily Thanksgiving: It's Shabbat! I get to rest and relax and do a whole lot of nothing after my very busy, stressful week.

A Girl's Advice to Guys

Since you do not know me, and I do not know you, I am spilling my thoughts out onto "paper" (the internet) and I am being completely honest here. I do not understand attraction in the sense my peers and most everyone on this earth understands it. When I see a guy my friends thinks is "hot", I am not able to see it. I do not understand this beauty they obviously find in this persons appearance. When I have crushes, it is because I know the guy, have spent loads of time with him and now sense that he would somehow better my life if we were dating. I have never had a boyfriend though, but I am not upset about that. Though I am eighteen and never dated anyone, I do not think I have missed out on anything. For those of you who date, I am not apposed to dating. I just believe that knowing who I am without anyone else is good for me personally, but we are all living very different lives and G-d has different plans for us all.

With that said, the only aspect of beauty I understand is the mental and physiological processes behind being attracted to someone. These processes are fascinating to me! The fact that your pupils dilate, you release pheromones, and your sympathetic nervous system kicks in is all interesting because it is all based on a thought or sight of someone. And that someone you are attracted to often is able to subconsciously be aware that you are attracted to them because of the pheromones they pick up, and their brain recognizes that your pupils are dilated and a whole bunch of other stuff. It is also interesting that someone who is thought to be beautiful commonly has a certain type of facial symmetry that most people are able to understand and think is attractive. Why do I not have this? I am not sure, but I believe G-d has spared me from the problems that surely would have arisen for me from this. I believe He is protecting my heart from constant damage that crushes used to cause for me.

Why have I never dated anyone? It's not as though I have never had offers, I just declined them. There are actually two main stories that I will remember for a very long time. The first is about my best friend in grades six through eight. We did so much together and our siblings were the same age so they hung out a lot too and actually started dating for awhile. One night we were texting late at night, and he asked me if I liked him. First of all, I thought a rumor was going around that I had a crush on him, so I quickly denied that I did. Instead, I told him I like him as a friend and he was my best friend. After a very long break in the conversation, I asked him why he had asked me that. He revealed that he liked me as more than a friend. I didn't respond. That's how I lost my best friend. He stopped talking to me for a few months when I needed him the most because some of the girls at school were not being very nice and I was struggling with life so bad. He just got married a year ago, even though he and his wife were still in high school. They also just had a baby a couple weeks ago but they did it right, "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage." It just sucks because he was one of the people I was closest to, but I had to find out about his marriage and child through Facebook when his sister posted pictures. It breaks my heart to think about him, but I am glad I did not date him because it would have truly broken me.

The other story is similar but quite different. I met this boy at shul (it's like church, but we call it congregation or shul) and he started texting me after we had known each other for a few months. He would text me all the time just asking me about life, so I would return the conversation and ask him about stuff in his life. This went on for a solid month or two. However, when we would see each other on Saturdays at shul, he would hardly talk to me, but he would be always fairly close by, at least within sight of me. One day, he texted me asking if I liked him. Now knowing how this worked from four years prior, I said, "I suppose so". Our conversations got more frequent, which I did not know was possible because it was a 24/7 thing anyway, but he found a way to text me more and with increasingly more uncomfortable texts. They weren't dirty, but just not conversations that I would normally have with girls much less some guy at shul! After another month of texting and the awkward encounters at shul, he asked me again if I liked him because he "hated" my ambiguous answer. Ya, he said that (in a text). Now, if you are a guy out there, DO NOT do this when asking a girl out or about her "feelings". Currently slightly aggravated, but masking the anger, I replied that I did not know. This did not stop this pressure he was putting on me, it just made it worse. After a day or so I finally answered him and told him about my best friend and why I would not and could not answer him. This led to nearly six months of awkwardness in a very small congregation (and our moms had a fight or two along the way, not about us, but it was weird)... At the end of this spell, he asked me to prom! What? We were hardly able to stand being in the same room because I was ashamed of some of the stuff he had said to me and I don't know what his deal was, but he asked me to prom just up and out of the blue. But I went and it was so weird. Just the two of us at dinner, he did not introduce me to any of his friends I just stood there with him as he talked. Then he wouldn't stay with his friends, he kept making sure it was just the two of us dancing, or talking or whatever. But he didn't talk much. Oh goodness, I was not super thrilled. I was glad to go and see what prom was about, but I will never go to anything like that again unless I am with a big group of friends or with my husband. Period.

Note to guys: DO NOT text girls if you are trying to pursue them in a dating relations ship!!! There is a saying, do not text a girls heart. Ya, don't do it. If you want to date a girl, do all the cute stuff we love. Hang out with us, get to know who we are and what we like to do, share about yourself, build a friendship with us and be awkward (don't try to be awkward, just let it happen because it is bound to happen, but we adore you for it!). Think of creative ways to celebrate our birthdays and allow us to show you ourselves with our friends present too. We want friendships with our future husbands and that is the reason for dating right? If, by the time you are our friend, you then begin to share your "feeling" and good intentions, and if you live the way we would like our husband to live, then there is a good chance you will have yourself the start of a beautiful relationship that could last the rest of your life with her. But be present in life, not just on the phone. (Being with us in person also allows for the pheromones to actually work and for you to see our dilated pupils and our blushing! Trust me, it is worth it to see her attracted to you.)

Note to girls: if a guy is carrying on a "clean" conversation with you in text or in person, but you are not comfortable with the content, do not be afraid to change the subject. If he still persists, he may need a clearer message and you should ask him to not talk about you or to you in such a manner. I wish I would have done this because you are not just protecting yourself, you are also allowing him to learn how to treat the next girl he may have a crush on. Help your sisters out and let's learn to respect and teach respect to each other (this goes for guys too).

My goodness, this is a long post, but I think it is important information that I was never taught but I think everyone needs to know these things. So please forgive me for my soapbox speech, but there may be more to come.

My thanksgiving for the day! I am thankful for the new friends I have made since moving out of my previous dorm room. I now have to be more self-reliant and I have to search people out more also because I am all alone in this room. That means no one to go to meals with, unless I text or plan with others. However, I have made some great, true friends that are helping this transition to be much easier. I am so blessed to have gotten a new room and so many friends surrounding me, supporting me and encouraging me through school and this new difficulty of dealing with upset former roommates. G-d has given me new people's company to enjoy, and also new people to impress with Yeshua's (Jesus') love. I am one very blessed girl!

On My Own

Nights one and two in my new room were a success! I "confronted" (really just talked to) my former suite mates about the issues we were having before I moved out. Then at the end of that conversation I told them I was moving out that night. I think they were shocked.  Directly after I told them, I started packing and took a load up to my new room. When I got back, all three of them were standing around talking. It was one of those moments I knew they were talking about what I had just unloaded on them, but I didn't care. I was so stinkin' happy! So I did a couple more loads and one roommate comes over to me as I was packing and asked for the keys to my room. (Now, I am living on campus and had my own separate bedroom in a suite of four people and we shared the bathroom. Therefore I had keys and could lock my room door even when I was gone.) Turns out they don't care I left, they just want the extra bed for when one of the girls' boyfriends come over to spend the night! I think it is rather funny. You know how in movies the parents make great plans for the kid's room once they leave for college? Ya, they started making plans the second I told them I was leaving! They wanted it for storage and a guest bedroom. I am just glad they did not get angry and start yelling at me or crying or something. I don't deal with peers or adults crying very well, unless they are sick, or hurt or something (not just because they are angry and want me to feel bad).

This brings me to my thanksgiving. I am extremely thankful that I can now study without earplugs (my external auditory canals were beginning to become inflamed. Sorry about the sudden anatomy and phys language, I just took the test about ears last night). I am grateful for my own bathroom so I do not have to wake up ridiculously early just to get a shower because they only plan around their schedule. Now I can live on MY own schedule!!! I have peace and quiet, and study time and more room. (Please forgive the possible sentence faux pas that I think is there, but not entirely sure about.) G-d even blessed me with a huge window, a big room and a really nice view. Normally, to get a room all alone like mine, there are not many big windows, and they are usually all taken. But Ad-nai blessed me with my choice of the room and with more than I had even expected. If you are going through struggles or need something, ask G-d for it. Tell Him exactly what you want. If it is in His will for you, you will get it. It may take longer than you thought it would. (For me it seems that whenever I need something, He waits until the last minute for it to become available. But through that, I know it is nothing I did, only what He is doing.) And, as time goes by your desires will better match what His will for you is. I have this thought/theory about how G-d answers prayers. He obviously knows what all will happen throughout time. He also knows everything about us, even what we will pray. I think he plants desires (not every desire, but quite a few of them that are parallel to what His Word says about what is right and such). When we realize or receive this desire, we then start asking Him for what we want/need. Then, He answers the prayers and petitions that we have brought to Him for this thing that we were asking for. As we see prayers answered, our faith grows tremendously. I don't know if this is a true theory, but I believe it is a "G-d thought" and I have seen Him work through this process time and time again throughout my life.

Moving On!

So I got approved for my dorm room change today! That means I can move out of my toxic living environment, into one of peace and solitude (only by choice). My praise today is the fact that I got approved for the room that I wanted, my first choice in fact. Now I just have to inform my roommates of me moving out. Then just get through the next 3.5 years where they will likely be in the nursing program, and therefore ALL of my classes from here on out... Oh, how I will need strength, grace and love in these next years! L-rd willing that I get into the nursing program at this university. I have heard it is one of the top nursing programs in the state and even in the country!

Refused the Flu Shot

So I already posted today, but I keep meaning to write about this... and then I forget.

Anyway, I refused the flu shot. Yes, I do work in healthcare. Yes, I do work at an elderly care facility. I get to wear a lovely mask that reduces my oxygen levels by about fifty percent (probably more like five percent, but still!). Does anyone else stand with me on this issue? I do not believe they should have the right to force me to get a shot. This is my health, my body and my life! I thought the whole point of a flu shot was to protect those who get it, so why then must I get one in order to protect the residents if the residents get their for protection? I do not want to put anyone in danger, especially not myself, but I do not agree with their demands or claims. People, if you agree that they should not be able to require this of us, stand with me! I had a job offer taken back just because I am unable to get the shot. I have had several employees come up to me and ask me why I am wearing a mask. When I tell them I am unable to get the flu shot because of religious reasons, they tell me they wish they could have refused the shot. To tell you the truth, they likely could have. I do not believe G-d wants me to have the vaccine, that is why He created our bodies with the ability to produce antibodies. We are made to become stronger from illnesses in order to fight it off the next time it comes around.

So, if you believe as I do, that we should be able to decide whether we want vaccines (without getting strong armed), please stand with the rest of us that are unable/unwilling to receive this vaccine. Wear the mask, fill out the paperwork and let's start standing up for our health by trusting the Creator and how He designed our bodies. If enough of us (CNA's, nurses, doctors, admin employees, EVERYONE), stood up to unnecessary "requirement", we could get it overturned. Hospitals cannot allow half of their CNA's, nurses, doctors or any number of employees go or be on suspension because there are already such great shortages. Fight with us, do not allow this to become common place. Fight for your beliefs and rights!

HESI-A2

Ahhhh! The HESI is starting to be a major topic of conversation for us pre-nursing students. I have heard some people do not start studying until a couple weeks before the test, others start at spring break and still others begin over winter break. I , on the other hand, will likely begin studying just before spring break and go over the information a couple of times. I bought three books and I am thinking of getting a fourth because it looks pretty handy. Have any of you taken the HESI-A2 yet? Are you planning on taking it in the future? What books are the best?

Today, I am thankful for my independence. I have been blessed with a job, I have been blessed with a car and I have been super blessed with parents that have taught me how to take care of everything myself. While it is difficult paying for grown-up life, I am so very glad that I have this opportunity to be able to handle my own bills, live my own life and be "on my own"... in most ways. G-d taught me, through my parents, how to save to buy my own car, computer and a variety of other things. But I learned how to save and handle my own finances. Now, I am working my way through college, racking up a bit of debt, but not nearly as much as I could be. I am grateful for the independence and freedom that this country stands for and for the people who put their lives on the line every day in order to maintain this sense of freedom for us. G-d has surely blessed us all.