Hey guys,
I know I've been radio silent for awhile. It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I don't know where I left off and I don't know how many posts I'll write today, but there's a lot to tell y'all about.
1) I tried to get restraining order on exfiance. Judge denied it because there was no "imminent" threat that she had proof of. I know she can't predict what he'll do, but if I report him he's going to go crazy!
2) Jersey confronted me in the hall during a class break this last week. She yelled at me for probably 10 minutes. She would ask me a question and then start talking over me a few words into my reply. By the end of the conversation, I was just saying "okay" when she would accuse me of something. This made her more angry. But at the beginning I had told her I think we should talk about everything over coffee instead of in the hall. She said that would be good but continued to yell and berate me for several minutes. There's no use in trying to speak because she just gets mad and won't listen to me. So, we're going to get coffee. We were supposed to get coffee this Friday, but I was in court trying to get the damn restraining order ALL day.
I've decided I am going to "break up" with her. I am going to tell her she is toxic and that the relationship we have is not healthy. She's going to flip, start crying, and begin yelling at me. She will then tell everyone in our class. I don't even care. My friends always come back to me after she tells them something and I tell them my side. Beauty is sick of her shit, but refuses to tell Jersey off. Not my problem. If Beauty wants to be Jersey's buddy, great. Jersey could use a buddy because she has no one else in the class. Why? Because she treats everyone like shit.
And these are the types of nursing students about to be let run free in the hospitals all across the country... We have several "Jersey's" in our class. I have witnessed them be rude and talk down to patients regularly. If I had any number of these types of student nurses or real nurses, I'd fire them without a second thought in my brain. Yes, that's terrible, but they don't treat people well! I'm over-empathetic and tend to believe all sob stories patients tell me. I'm starting to know when they are lying or being dramatic, but I'm getting better at setting boundaries, being able to have other staff members sit and talk with them, and also be able to let them know I can only do so much because I have other things that are more pressing than answering their 50 million requests.
3) Roomie put me on a Messianic dating site and also on Tinder. She said it would help with my self-esteem. 25-30 guys messaged me saying I was cute, then they would try to talk with me. It's great having that many guys that I think are cute also think I'm cute. It was exhausting to talk to so many and keep everyone's story straight. I shut it off after a couple days.
I only gave my number out to two guys. One guy was particularly kind and we seemed to get along on most subjects and issues that I've had with other guys in the past (both exes). Last night he asked me on a date. I said I would go if I could bring Roomie and her boyfriend along. He flipped out! He yelled at me for several text messages. I told him it wasn't to make him feel bad, it was just for safety since I'd never met him before. That made him even more angry! He told me I'm the type of girl that has caused guys to not want to be nice to girls anymore. I'm the reason chivalry is dea. and I'm the reason he doesn't want to try to be nice to girls anymore. Well fucker, you've been showing me red flags to remind me of exfiance all along. Unfortunately for you, your guilt trip methods and abusive ways will not work on me. Don't mess with me buddy. So, unfortunately for me, my radar was right. He was telling me everything I wanted to hear but his true colors showed awfully fast.
I'm just excited I stood up for myself and stayed my ground! He is blocked on my phone. He ended up texting me because I blocked him off of Facebook and text at the same time, but he yelled at me for taking him off Facebook. Hahaha, I think it may have actually been exfiance because the Tinder guy knew an awful lot about exfiance and I didn't start that conversation... He knew one of EF's (exfiance) exgirlfriends, talked similarly about Mormonism and life, had larger than life stories, and knew a lot about EF's past jobs and where he lives. If it was him, then wow. If it wasn't him then oh my gosh! So many crazies find me! I think they have a club...
4) Roomie's birthday was a couple days ago. We ended up going out dancing. Exfiance was there! I saw him as soon as I came in the door. My friends say he stared at me the whole night. I don't care, I had a grand ole time! I danced with all the girls and guys in my friend group while he stood on the sidelines and looked more and more angry. He danced with one girl and I wanted to go tell her that he is bad news, but maybe if I get legal things started, she'll be spared.
Hopefully she is smarter than I am and she doesn't get caught in his web of lies and abuse. I'll pray for her but I can't do much else.
5) My mom came down last night and we went to dinner. We got to talk about counseling and all of our life's happenings. So much to talk about with that! We ended up going to Target and started picking things out for my graduation trip! Oh my gosh, I'm so excited!!!
I'll fill in more for some of these events, but I'm working on a bottle of wine. Yes, it's 2:30 ish on a Saturday afternoon. No, I don't normally drink wine. It'll be okay guys, I'm just trying to relax. This week has been absolutely awful and I just need to escape for a little bit.
Showing posts with label Messianic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Messianic. Show all posts
Saturday, March 12, 2016
Thursday, May 15, 2014
IT on pause
Today was my last day working my IT job for the summer and possibly forever. It is so surreal that I have finished my second year of college (well, one more final tomorrow) and I am finished with one school-year of working as an IT person. Not quite sure if it is good or bad yet, we shall see.
In light of it being my last day, I would like to tell y'all a funny story. Well, it's kinda funny... for me...
One of my friends that works IT with me asked me to a party this Friday. He was telling me how great it would be and it's all in his apartment complex. I said "no" just flat out. There was a smile on my face but I told him no. He and his friend continued on about how fun it would be and yada, yada, yada. Then he asked if I was single. He has a girlfriend so he wasn't asking for himself. Turns out he has a friend who is Messianic who was going to be at the party and my friend was absolutely convinced I needed to go so that I could possibly meet this fellow. I told them no because I am ridiculously awkward and I was planning on getting my tongue pierced so I would be unable to speak. Then they tried for 10 minutes trying to convince me that I am not awkward because I wear cowboy boots to school and they don't know anybody in cowboy boots that are awkward... Yikes, these boys just haven't spent enough time with me. That and they are both really charismatic which means they could have a conversation with a rock and the rock would talk back and none of the conversation would be awkward.
My mom laughed at that story for like 5 minutes...
Happy Finals Week everyone. Finish strong! I believe in you.
In light of it being my last day, I would like to tell y'all a funny story. Well, it's kinda funny... for me...
One of my friends that works IT with me asked me to a party this Friday. He was telling me how great it would be and it's all in his apartment complex. I said "no" just flat out. There was a smile on my face but I told him no. He and his friend continued on about how fun it would be and yada, yada, yada. Then he asked if I was single. He has a girlfriend so he wasn't asking for himself. Turns out he has a friend who is Messianic who was going to be at the party and my friend was absolutely convinced I needed to go so that I could possibly meet this fellow. I told them no because I am ridiculously awkward and I was planning on getting my tongue pierced so I would be unable to speak. Then they tried for 10 minutes trying to convince me that I am not awkward because I wear cowboy boots to school and they don't know anybody in cowboy boots that are awkward... Yikes, these boys just haven't spent enough time with me. That and they are both really charismatic which means they could have a conversation with a rock and the rock would talk back and none of the conversation would be awkward.
My mom laughed at that story for like 5 minutes...
Happy Finals Week everyone. Finish strong! I believe in you.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Maybe you're just confused...
Full moon = craziness at work for the entire week! It was made worse by the fact that I worked 3 scheduled doubles and another single shift. Then they called me in for another single shift (bringing the total up to a whopping 8 shifts in 1 week) but I was the only CNA when there are usually 3... Needless to say I was livid, grouchy, and I am currently burnt out at this job.
Good news, though, there is an opening for the mother baby floor at a local hospital (the one that hired me the same time I got hired at this old folks' home) and it's PRN too! The only down side is that their orientation is a week long and I have school that I cannot miss. So, I will call them about it and apply in November so that I can hopefully do the orientation over winter break and get set up in the hospital!
A thing that I have recently noticed about nurses, however, is that many of them (us) have diarrhea of the mouth. This means that we say really stupid things and have to remove our foot from our oral orifices on numerous occasions each day. I have also recently discovered that I have a relatively thin skin and can get easily offended when someone questions my intelligence. What brought about this discovery? Oh, years of being questioned and targeted as people's mission in churches when I discussed my questions concerning doctrines of the church that I do not see as being congruent or found in the Bible. What brought it up recently? My charge nurse telling me that I'm confused about my belief system because I believe in Jesus but don't celebrate the Jesus holidays (Christian holidays). I made the mistake of telling people at work (only when they ask) that I celebrate the "Jewish" holidays that Yeshua (Jesus) celebrated instead of celebrating the Christian holidays like Easter and Christmas.
My little spiel begins with asking all of you to please not assume that I took the change lightly. Going from celebrating Christian holidays all my life to doing the Biblical ("Jewish") holidays was not a change that occurred spontaneously. I don't do anything spontaneously, at all! I resist change, I research all areas of life that I don't understand, and I am too scared of life and possible consequences of any action to even leave my house most days or have any human interaction. (I believe that may have been a run-on... I am very sorry. I tend to have run-on's in my rants.) So, for someone to tell me that I am confused and laugh in my face in front of fellow employees/friends when that person is the one asking me questions about what I believe is unacceptable. Don't tell me what I know and what I don't. Don't tell me that I don't know something that I have actually researched for years on end. Oh man, you can tell me a lot of stuff, but don't tell me what to do with my life and don't tell me that I don't know my own beliefs.
Now I am working on forgiveness... I think this came about from asking G-d to teach me to forgive and to be more compassionate and patient. If you ask for these things, which you should because it's good to be working on these things with G-d, but be ready for a rough life for the next few weeks/months. Man alive! This simple little request has made my summer very trying indeed!
In completely unrelated news, I went to church today. It was really short, only an hour and a half! I am used to being at congregation for 5-7 hours because I get there way early to help set-up, then leave really late after everything is cleaned and put away. I don't know if I will continue to go there because I was actually meaning to go to another church but got confused so I improvised and tried a different one. Long story short, it was an okay service, but I am going to go the the one I originally was going to go to because my mentor recommended it and it is supposed to have a pretty good worship service Friday nights.
School starts Monday and I already have homework due the first day of class. 'Nough said.
Good news, though, there is an opening for the mother baby floor at a local hospital (the one that hired me the same time I got hired at this old folks' home) and it's PRN too! The only down side is that their orientation is a week long and I have school that I cannot miss. So, I will call them about it and apply in November so that I can hopefully do the orientation over winter break and get set up in the hospital!
A thing that I have recently noticed about nurses, however, is that many of them (us) have diarrhea of the mouth. This means that we say really stupid things and have to remove our foot from our oral orifices on numerous occasions each day. I have also recently discovered that I have a relatively thin skin and can get easily offended when someone questions my intelligence. What brought about this discovery? Oh, years of being questioned and targeted as people's mission in churches when I discussed my questions concerning doctrines of the church that I do not see as being congruent or found in the Bible. What brought it up recently? My charge nurse telling me that I'm confused about my belief system because I believe in Jesus but don't celebrate the Jesus holidays (Christian holidays). I made the mistake of telling people at work (only when they ask) that I celebrate the "Jewish" holidays that Yeshua (Jesus) celebrated instead of celebrating the Christian holidays like Easter and Christmas.
My little spiel begins with asking all of you to please not assume that I took the change lightly. Going from celebrating Christian holidays all my life to doing the Biblical ("Jewish") holidays was not a change that occurred spontaneously. I don't do anything spontaneously, at all! I resist change, I research all areas of life that I don't understand, and I am too scared of life and possible consequences of any action to even leave my house most days or have any human interaction. (I believe that may have been a run-on... I am very sorry. I tend to have run-on's in my rants.) So, for someone to tell me that I am confused and laugh in my face in front of fellow employees/friends when that person is the one asking me questions about what I believe is unacceptable. Don't tell me what I know and what I don't. Don't tell me that I don't know something that I have actually researched for years on end. Oh man, you can tell me a lot of stuff, but don't tell me what to do with my life and don't tell me that I don't know my own beliefs.
Now I am working on forgiveness... I think this came about from asking G-d to teach me to forgive and to be more compassionate and patient. If you ask for these things, which you should because it's good to be working on these things with G-d, but be ready for a rough life for the next few weeks/months. Man alive! This simple little request has made my summer very trying indeed!
In completely unrelated news, I went to church today. It was really short, only an hour and a half! I am used to being at congregation for 5-7 hours because I get there way early to help set-up, then leave really late after everything is cleaned and put away. I don't know if I will continue to go there because I was actually meaning to go to another church but got confused so I improvised and tried a different one. Long story short, it was an okay service, but I am going to go the the one I originally was going to go to because my mentor recommended it and it is supposed to have a pretty good worship service Friday nights.
School starts Monday and I already have homework due the first day of class. 'Nough said.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Rejuvinated
Shabbat Shalom!
Today I went to shul (congregation), for the first time in a month and it was so good. G-d let the worship team sing some of my all-time favorite songs and I found out that I will be done with school by their Shavuot celebration so I get to dance with the dance team!!! I have missed dancing so much, and I didn't even do it all that much. But for some reason, it gets out in physical form what I want to do when worshiping. I can't really explain it, but oh how I love to dance! Only Davidic dancing, not slow dancing or prom dancing or anything, only the stuff for worship. Do me a favor and look up Davidic dancing or messianic worship dancing, or something about Hebrew dances or anything like that. Truly, if more churches danced the way David did, I think we would be better at expressing ourselves and our love for G-d because it doesn't matter what we look like, so long as we are giving G-d praise with every fiber, cell, atom of our being. Also, every since I saw Prince of Egypt by Dreamworks, I wanted to dance like they danced at that dinner party. Now I do! You have no idea how excited I was when I first went to our congregation and realized I could potentially dance like they danced.
Anyway, it was an excellent Shabbat. G-d made a lot of stuff a whole lot clearer, I am on my way to getting right with Him and I pray that He will handle my life. Lately, I have been trying to figure life out which always gets me into trouble. I need to rely solely on Him, because when I do, He allows everything else to fall into place and He even improves my grades when I focus on Him and not necessarily on school. Foolish me, I had to try to drive the car of my life again. Unfortunately, I don't think I will ever be able to fully relinquish all of my life for the rest of my life, without trying to take control of stuff again, because I'm human. By the time He is in full control, I will likely be home with Him. But, for right now, I have Shalom. This peace that I have not felt in such a long time, and joy; both came over me today in worship and it was like a cold drink of water on a scorching hot day. A cool, sweet breeze in the midst of hot, muggy weather. My worries are at rest tonight and my brain is free for the first time in months. Life is never too much for G-d to handle and He performs miracles, some that we don't even see, every day. He is to incredible, gracious, holy, mighty and gentle.
Daily Thanksgiving: I was able to go to shul and dance today. I found out I get to be home for Shavuot (more on what that is to come). G-d provides me with the desires of my heart like dancing, the songs I love, and so much more. He has given me peace and rest from the worries and anxiety I bring on myself. He is so great and merciful and amazing. I had a wonderful day. Also, he brought me home safe and He brought me back to school safely!
Today I went to shul (congregation), for the first time in a month and it was so good. G-d let the worship team sing some of my all-time favorite songs and I found out that I will be done with school by their Shavuot celebration so I get to dance with the dance team!!! I have missed dancing so much, and I didn't even do it all that much. But for some reason, it gets out in physical form what I want to do when worshiping. I can't really explain it, but oh how I love to dance! Only Davidic dancing, not slow dancing or prom dancing or anything, only the stuff for worship. Do me a favor and look up Davidic dancing or messianic worship dancing, or something about Hebrew dances or anything like that. Truly, if more churches danced the way David did, I think we would be better at expressing ourselves and our love for G-d because it doesn't matter what we look like, so long as we are giving G-d praise with every fiber, cell, atom of our being. Also, every since I saw Prince of Egypt by Dreamworks, I wanted to dance like they danced at that dinner party. Now I do! You have no idea how excited I was when I first went to our congregation and realized I could potentially dance like they danced.
Anyway, it was an excellent Shabbat. G-d made a lot of stuff a whole lot clearer, I am on my way to getting right with Him and I pray that He will handle my life. Lately, I have been trying to figure life out which always gets me into trouble. I need to rely solely on Him, because when I do, He allows everything else to fall into place and He even improves my grades when I focus on Him and not necessarily on school. Foolish me, I had to try to drive the car of my life again. Unfortunately, I don't think I will ever be able to fully relinquish all of my life for the rest of my life, without trying to take control of stuff again, because I'm human. By the time He is in full control, I will likely be home with Him. But, for right now, I have Shalom. This peace that I have not felt in such a long time, and joy; both came over me today in worship and it was like a cold drink of water on a scorching hot day. A cool, sweet breeze in the midst of hot, muggy weather. My worries are at rest tonight and my brain is free for the first time in months. Life is never too much for G-d to handle and He performs miracles, some that we don't even see, every day. He is to incredible, gracious, holy, mighty and gentle.
Daily Thanksgiving: I was able to go to shul and dance today. I found out I get to be home for Shavuot (more on what that is to come). G-d provides me with the desires of my heart like dancing, the songs I love, and so much more. He has given me peace and rest from the worries and anxiety I bring on myself. He is so great and merciful and amazing. I had a wonderful day. Also, he brought me home safe and He brought me back to school safely!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Fantastic!
Guys, today my chem lab partner knew what Messianic meant and even supplied the word!!! You have no idea how excited that made me. Plus, she is pretty much the funniest person I've ever met and we have so much fun in lab together. Today, we made soap and detergent. That may sound boring, but it was so incredible hilarious and fun I can't contain my joy over lab, I really can't.
Then we played baseball and football outside and so all the vitamin D has me on a bit of a high.
Tonight I am going to the gym.
Tomorrow I don't have school!
So, this has pretty much been a fantastic day. I love it!
Also, this guy that I kinda sorta have a thing for is showing that he probably kinda has a thing for me too. Okay, that was really not supposed to sound dirty, so please do not take it as a dirty sentence :)
Daily Thanksgiving: Class went by quickly, I had solid quality time with so many friends lately (each one-on-one), I am making friends, lab was amazingly fun, we played outside, and no school tomorrow.
Then we played baseball and football outside and so all the vitamin D has me on a bit of a high.
Tonight I am going to the gym.
Tomorrow I don't have school!
So, this has pretty much been a fantastic day. I love it!
Also, this guy that I kinda sorta have a thing for is showing that he probably kinda has a thing for me too. Okay, that was really not supposed to sound dirty, so please do not take it as a dirty sentence :)
Daily Thanksgiving: Class went by quickly, I had solid quality time with so many friends lately (each one-on-one), I am making friends, lab was amazingly fun, we played outside, and no school tomorrow.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
March of Remembrance
By the way, I wanted to inform everyone of an amazing opportunity to participate in the March of Remembrance. There are marches taking place all over the country and even some international marches as well.
What is it? This is a march remembering the Holocaust and all of the lives lost at that time. It is a time to honor all of those who were killed during that horrific event and also to show support for those who still live to talk about it. Also, it is a vow, in a way, that we will not let another Holocaust happen again. Yes, genocide is still very real and happens every day, but we as believers need to stand up and fight for those being murdered. So check out this website and see if there is a march close enough that you can participate in it!
This march is also very important at this time of year when we remember the Passover story and how G-d always delivers His people from bondage and suffering. While there may be a season that such suffering does take place, He provides a way out in His perfect timing. To G-d be the glory!
Also, this march is for Orthodox Jews, Reform Jews, Messianic believers, Christians and everyone! You do not have to claim a certain religion or belief system to participate, this is a great opportunity to learn about what happened and how to remember and prevent the Holocaust from ever happening again. So come out no matter what you believe and remember with us.
What is it? This is a march remembering the Holocaust and all of the lives lost at that time. It is a time to honor all of those who were killed during that horrific event and also to show support for those who still live to talk about it. Also, it is a vow, in a way, that we will not let another Holocaust happen again. Yes, genocide is still very real and happens every day, but we as believers need to stand up and fight for those being murdered. So check out this website and see if there is a march close enough that you can participate in it!
This march is also very important at this time of year when we remember the Passover story and how G-d always delivers His people from bondage and suffering. While there may be a season that such suffering does take place, He provides a way out in His perfect timing. To G-d be the glory!
Also, this march is for Orthodox Jews, Reform Jews, Messianic believers, Christians and everyone! You do not have to claim a certain religion or belief system to participate, this is a great opportunity to learn about what happened and how to remember and prevent the Holocaust from ever happening again. So come out no matter what you believe and remember with us.
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