Yesterday, I went back to the testing center (after the fiasco and rescheduling on Tuesday) and I got to actually take the HESI!!! It was such a relief. After each subtest section, they also score it right away, which I really like because then you don't have to wait for weeks to see your scores. Since I had been there the day before yesterday, the gentleman who was checking me in gave me preferential treatment too! How nice, right? Even though I had come in right on time, other people had been there first and so they would have been up next. However, he chose to let me come in a little bit before my technical time and before taking me back to be interrogated and scanned with a metal detector, he asked if I wanted to keep studying or not. I am blown away by their level of customer service because the customers already pay for the test before they come to the testing center, so it's not like the employees have to be nice to ensure that they get paid. Regardless, they were so kind and kept me in the loop the entire two hours I was there on Tuesday. Also, I have to say that being kind and courteous, especially in frustrating and stressful situation, will definitely help you. Show some grace to people when things are going wrong because they will notice it and they will help you in any way that they can. Even if they don't, it will show G-d's love to someone that may be needing to see grace and Yeshua in their everyday life.
So, praise the L-rd! He got me a 93.43% on the test! I was hoping for a 94%, but I heard that anything over 90% is usually good news. Now, I will just be waiting until the end of the month to learn if I can switch over to nursing courses or not!!!
Advice: Buy the study books, study, take the practice tests, score them, and keep studying. Pray, pray, pray. This last one is the most important, by far. No one can get you a better score than G-d. Don't use Him as a last resort to procrastination though, you have to practice a working faith. This means that you need to work on your relationship with Him, and study on your own too. Working faith means that you go and prepare as far as you are able, in your personal, human ability, then you trust G-d to bring the rest.
Showing posts with label HESI-A2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HESI-A2. Show all posts
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
On the One Hand...
Today was my scheduled day to take the HESI-A2 test. Sounds super fun doesn't it?! I show up, nervous, because my commute time was doubled due to ridiculous amounts of traffic. Regardless, G-d got me to the testing center on time. I checked in, sat down and waited. Waiting, waiting, waiting. 45 minutes go by, then they call me into the office to be interrogated and scanned for knives, cheating devices and other such paraphernalia. The gentleman goes into the testing room to get my test brought up on the computer, but it won't come up so he issues me back into the interrogation room and out into the waiting room. 45 minutes longer and I am reassured that they are calling the help desks to fix it and I am offered a chance to reschedule for free. I call the number they gave me and stay on the phone for a solid 25 minutes trying to get everything figured out to reschedule only to find out that I will have to wait another 2-3 days to learn when I can reschedule to. I also learn that one girl had to wait 4 hours to see if the test would come up but it never did for her. But for two other girls that came that same day, the test worked just fine. I guess this problem is occurring across the nation with this one particular test which is really unfortunate because the window that I had to take the test is quickly coming to a close and I may not get into nursing school if I can't take this test before the end of that eligibility window...
Now, that was the down hand of my story. Let me tell you about the upper hand of this whole ordeal.
I was super nervous this morning because I have not been studying like I had needed to and every time I took a practice test I would get 70%-89%. I need a 94%. So, I was praying that G-d would grant me favor with this test. I was kicking myself (when I was waiting the first 45 minutes) for not studying more and for not doing just one more practice test. Now, I have a few extra days to study! I can take a bunch more practice tests and I can continue to build my English skills for the HESI because that will likely be the portion I have the hardest time with.
So, on the one hand it was slightly frustrating. On the other hand, I know that G-d is working. He has allowed me more time to study and, L-rd willing, He will allow me to get into the nursing program for Fall 2013 at my current university. I will keep y'all updated.
Now, that was the down hand of my story. Let me tell you about the upper hand of this whole ordeal.
I was super nervous this morning because I have not been studying like I had needed to and every time I took a practice test I would get 70%-89%. I need a 94%. So, I was praying that G-d would grant me favor with this test. I was kicking myself (when I was waiting the first 45 minutes) for not studying more and for not doing just one more practice test. Now, I have a few extra days to study! I can take a bunch more practice tests and I can continue to build my English skills for the HESI because that will likely be the portion I have the hardest time with.
So, on the one hand it was slightly frustrating. On the other hand, I know that G-d is working. He has allowed me more time to study and, L-rd willing, He will allow me to get into the nursing program for Fall 2013 at my current university. I will keep y'all updated.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Out of Touch
I apologize to you all for being out of touch for so long. I am currently living with some friends in the country and I do not have access to internet until I come into town for class, which is only two nights a week.
So far, microbiology is a blast... I've only been through one class session and one lab though. Does it get tougher? My professor seems really smart and fairly, which is an excellent combination for me! I have already made friends in my class and in lab! It's crazy to think back to when I started college and my heart would race and I would get so anxious just seeing my school. Now, I am making pals in the first few minutes of being in class. Figuring out an entirely new, and very different campus, is very difficult though, let me tell you. I only got lost 4 times in the first 20 minutes of being here and I still don't know where to park. Fortunately, I had gotten to campus 3 hours before my class and wasn't late to lecture or lab.
I was talking with one of the ladies that I'm staying with though, and she asked why I didn't have a boyfriend. I explained it to her and she totally understood because her daughter has the same issue: we are focused exclusively on school right now. So, it was the first time that I had been reaffirmed-and not judged-for choosing to not be tethered to another human at this point in my life. What a breath of fresh air. Why do we even have to get married anyway? I know that it is all for reproducing, but is that the whole point of life? Surely this can't be it. It seems strange that life would simply occur just for people to get married, have children, and carry on human life. I know that we are here to give G-d glory, but I am still struggling with the purpose of everything. If we are just here to procreate, why go to school? School is only here to increase knowledge in order to give you a better chance of getting a job. You get a job to make money. You make money to support yourself and offspring (if you have them). So, what's the point of it all? Life is so simple, but in the midst of all this simplicity, everything gets so very complicated.
More to come later.
Daily Thanksgiving: I have wonderful friends to stay with. I enjoy my class and I am actually looking forward to all of the curriculum. The HESI is on Tuesday and so I am almost done stressing about getting into nursing school (for just a little bit).
So far, microbiology is a blast... I've only been through one class session and one lab though. Does it get tougher? My professor seems really smart and fairly, which is an excellent combination for me! I have already made friends in my class and in lab! It's crazy to think back to when I started college and my heart would race and I would get so anxious just seeing my school. Now, I am making pals in the first few minutes of being in class. Figuring out an entirely new, and very different campus, is very difficult though, let me tell you. I only got lost 4 times in the first 20 minutes of being here and I still don't know where to park. Fortunately, I had gotten to campus 3 hours before my class and wasn't late to lecture or lab.
I was talking with one of the ladies that I'm staying with though, and she asked why I didn't have a boyfriend. I explained it to her and she totally understood because her daughter has the same issue: we are focused exclusively on school right now. So, it was the first time that I had been reaffirmed-and not judged-for choosing to not be tethered to another human at this point in my life. What a breath of fresh air. Why do we even have to get married anyway? I know that it is all for reproducing, but is that the whole point of life? Surely this can't be it. It seems strange that life would simply occur just for people to get married, have children, and carry on human life. I know that we are here to give G-d glory, but I am still struggling with the purpose of everything. If we are just here to procreate, why go to school? School is only here to increase knowledge in order to give you a better chance of getting a job. You get a job to make money. You make money to support yourself and offspring (if you have them). So, what's the point of it all? Life is so simple, but in the midst of all this simplicity, everything gets so very complicated.
More to come later.
Daily Thanksgiving: I have wonderful friends to stay with. I enjoy my class and I am actually looking forward to all of the curriculum. The HESI is on Tuesday and so I am almost done stressing about getting into nursing school (for just a little bit).
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Sweet Relief Is Coming!
I have some great news... I just took my last anatomy lab practical of my life (L-rd willing)!!! I have been studying for this test for such a long time and even though I didn't know all that I would have liked to know, I am pretty sure I passed the test with at least a C. I'm still praying for an A, thinking I got a B, but it could be a C, I don't know. It's that awful time right after a test where I think I did alright which means that I probably bombed it completely, which I just absolutely hate because I get so confused with not knowing how I did. Oh well, it's over now!!! And the countdown begins:
Anatomy: 1 lecture, 1 homework assignment, and my final
Chemistry: 1 lecture, 1 homework assignment, extra credit project, and the final
Psych: 1 lecture, and my final
English: 1 lecture, a meeting with my professor, and the final paper
Then, I get to be on summer break!!!... for a week. But, I am excited for microbiology and I really need to be done with the HESI to get that off my mind too.
Daily Thanksgiving: I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (I don't know if it's daylight or a train barreling towards me but we will soon find out). Summer is a week and a half away. I have a place to stay near school for the summer. I can count down the assignments I have to complete before finals on one hand. I am finished with anatomy lab!!! That, my friends, is a beautiful feeling because I was told it was going to be too hard to take anatomy and chemistry in my first year of college, but G-d brought me through. Even if I only pass the course with a B, He still allowed me to pass by more than the skin on my teeth (meaning I had a buffer with a B as apposed to a C or D).
Anatomy: 1 lecture, 1 homework assignment, and my final
Chemistry: 1 lecture, 1 homework assignment, extra credit project, and the final
Psych: 1 lecture, and my final
English: 1 lecture, a meeting with my professor, and the final paper
Then, I get to be on summer break!!!... for a week. But, I am excited for microbiology and I really need to be done with the HESI to get that off my mind too.
Daily Thanksgiving: I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (I don't know if it's daylight or a train barreling towards me but we will soon find out). Summer is a week and a half away. I have a place to stay near school for the summer. I can count down the assignments I have to complete before finals on one hand. I am finished with anatomy lab!!! That, my friends, is a beautiful feeling because I was told it was going to be too hard to take anatomy and chemistry in my first year of college, but G-d brought me through. Even if I only pass the course with a B, He still allowed me to pass by more than the skin on my teeth (meaning I had a buffer with a B as apposed to a C or D).
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Tiny Rant
First of all, tomorrow is the only thing standing between me and the last two weeks of my first year of college!!! It's crazy to think that I'm already here because this year went by in a blur of insanity. But, G-d has brought me through to this point and I am very glad for it. Now, I just need Him to get me through finals and, L-rd willing, bring up my grades.
Rant: Also, today was the first day we could register for the HESI which is good and bad. The good news is that I remembered and there are spots open in the location closest to my house. Bad news is that I am broke and the test was supposed to be $65, now it's $90! I know! What on earth is going on here!?! I don't have that kind of money. I don't really have any money right now because I have to pay car insurance, buy my microbio book, groceries, gas, and a bunch of other stuff. So, I can't even register and hold my spot until I get nearly one hundred dollars into my bank account. Hopefully there will still be a spot open for me on a day that will work with my summer work and school schedule. The end.
I found out a couple days ago that I get one week off for summer break. That's it. Thankfully, G-d orchestrated everything so that my brother's graduation from high school is during that week so I can go and see him walk across the stage and get his diploma. But after that it is school and work all summer, just to take a week-long intensive interim course before legit fall courses begin. If I wasn't taking the interim class, I would have another week long break at the end of micro, but I'm trying to be an achiever (because I'm not an over-achiever by anyone's standards).
The snow is still coming down. It's even getting cold enough outside that the snow is starting to stick on the sidewalks, but it's just slush right now because of the water left from when it was warmer today. Slush is so incredibly hazardous for the accident prone people like me, my goodness! I think I just need to be strapped to the floor in a padded room for the rest of my life to prevent anymore accidents, injuries, or problems. It seems like I can just breathe and cause problems.
Psych was also pretty interesting today. We talked about stress and took a couple self-tests/survey things. I learned that I am a 10/17 on the type A scale (I am kinda type A) and I also scored a fifty-something (out of 70) on the procrastination scale... So, these tests just confirmed that I procrastinate, a LOT. But I didn't know I was a type A person! That kinda got me down in the dumps a little, but whatever, I can change. I plan on changing both things actually so that I don't procrastinate as much, to hopefully lead to better grades, and also so that I am not so uptight and type A. Changing these two things should help with stress, and hopefully anxiety and depression as well. The only way I can change though is if G-d changes me. I've tried doing it by myself and I can't do it, I only make the whole situation worse.
Daily Thanksgiving: G-d has brought me to the near end of my first year of college! He has also kept me safe from major injury for most of my life, regardless of slush on the sidewalks or my foolish decisions in entertainment. I get paid this Friday, so hopefully I can pay for the HESI. Psych is awesome and I love my teacher in that class. I actually like all of my teachers. G-d has allowed me to get into micro at a different school, without jumping through too many hoops, and now I'm able to take that over the summer!
Rant: Also, today was the first day we could register for the HESI which is good and bad. The good news is that I remembered and there are spots open in the location closest to my house. Bad news is that I am broke and the test was supposed to be $65, now it's $90! I know! What on earth is going on here!?! I don't have that kind of money. I don't really have any money right now because I have to pay car insurance, buy my microbio book, groceries, gas, and a bunch of other stuff. So, I can't even register and hold my spot until I get nearly one hundred dollars into my bank account. Hopefully there will still be a spot open for me on a day that will work with my summer work and school schedule. The end.
I found out a couple days ago that I get one week off for summer break. That's it. Thankfully, G-d orchestrated everything so that my brother's graduation from high school is during that week so I can go and see him walk across the stage and get his diploma. But after that it is school and work all summer, just to take a week-long intensive interim course before legit fall courses begin. If I wasn't taking the interim class, I would have another week long break at the end of micro, but I'm trying to be an achiever (because I'm not an over-achiever by anyone's standards).
The snow is still coming down. It's even getting cold enough outside that the snow is starting to stick on the sidewalks, but it's just slush right now because of the water left from when it was warmer today. Slush is so incredibly hazardous for the accident prone people like me, my goodness! I think I just need to be strapped to the floor in a padded room for the rest of my life to prevent anymore accidents, injuries, or problems. It seems like I can just breathe and cause problems.
Psych was also pretty interesting today. We talked about stress and took a couple self-tests/survey things. I learned that I am a 10/17 on the type A scale (I am kinda type A) and I also scored a fifty-something (out of 70) on the procrastination scale... So, these tests just confirmed that I procrastinate, a LOT. But I didn't know I was a type A person! That kinda got me down in the dumps a little, but whatever, I can change. I plan on changing both things actually so that I don't procrastinate as much, to hopefully lead to better grades, and also so that I am not so uptight and type A. Changing these two things should help with stress, and hopefully anxiety and depression as well. The only way I can change though is if G-d changes me. I've tried doing it by myself and I can't do it, I only make the whole situation worse.
Daily Thanksgiving: G-d has brought me to the near end of my first year of college! He has also kept me safe from major injury for most of my life, regardless of slush on the sidewalks or my foolish decisions in entertainment. I get paid this Friday, so hopefully I can pay for the HESI. Psych is awesome and I love my teacher in that class. I actually like all of my teachers. G-d has allowed me to get into micro at a different school, without jumping through too many hoops, and now I'm able to take that over the summer!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Super Simple
I'm staying simple today because I'm exhausted and ready for bed!
So, here are my Daily Thanksgivings: I had an excellent day at work today. My residents are making work more fun, now that I am finally getting slightly faster. Also, G-d is making work much easier for me. Today's weather was absolutely gorgeous! I was able to talk to one of my friends about something that I had been scared to talk about, and it actually went really well and I disguised it as a joke, but they got the message. Praise the L-rd for that!!!
Also, 3 weeks of school left before summer! I know I am using a lot of exclamation points, but it's just a good day. I am so ready to be done with school and I am ready to no longer be a freshman. L-rd willing, I will only have 3 years left until I'm a nurse, but we will see how that goes...
How are y'all doing? Any exciting news? Any advice for the HESI coming up here shortly? Are any of you fixin' to take it this summer too? (Lots of questions I know, but join in the conversation, I would love to hear from you and we can freak out about grades and nursing school together!)
So, here are my Daily Thanksgivings: I had an excellent day at work today. My residents are making work more fun, now that I am finally getting slightly faster. Also, G-d is making work much easier for me. Today's weather was absolutely gorgeous! I was able to talk to one of my friends about something that I had been scared to talk about, and it actually went really well and I disguised it as a joke, but they got the message. Praise the L-rd for that!!!
Also, 3 weeks of school left before summer! I know I am using a lot of exclamation points, but it's just a good day. I am so ready to be done with school and I am ready to no longer be a freshman. L-rd willing, I will only have 3 years left until I'm a nurse, but we will see how that goes...
How are y'all doing? Any exciting news? Any advice for the HESI coming up here shortly? Are any of you fixin' to take it this summer too? (Lots of questions I know, but join in the conversation, I would love to hear from you and we can freak out about grades and nursing school together!)
Friday, March 29, 2013
Dreamin'
Do y'all ever have dreams you wish would not end because they are so fun or something you really wanted to happen? I hate those dreams because I wake up sad that they are not real life. Ok, that was harsh. I actually really like those dreams and I only have a slight dissappointment that they are not real. But for me, it is like watching a love story. You get so involved in what is happening in the movie (or the dream) and then by the time you get back to real life, it is not nearly as exciting or anything like you would have wanted. I believe that the romantic movies, books, songs and ideals that we are being bombarded with (or at least offered) are resulting in unrealistic expectations and ideas when it comes to dating and marriage. I know, this is like the 50th post I have done about this topic, but it's really frustrating to me. If I could choose, I want to go back in time to the late 1800's. At this time, modesty was a requirement for all, food was home-grown, and boys had to ask your parents before they could even court (date) you at all. In that system, the parents were able to consider the boy's parents, his history, schooling, age and so on. Then the parents of the girl used their fully developed prefrontal cortex in order to make an educated decision as to whether or not to let the girl even try to make a relationship work. I know, there were arranged marriages and not everyone was happy. But, dating was not a thing of the heart, it was thought through, discussed and considered by many viewpoints. Ideally, this method would save a lot of heartache because there is little chance for the girl or boy to date 25 people by the time they are 18.
Perhaps, I should just make myself stop dreaming... Just like I can make myself avoid chick-flicks, romance novels, country music and so forth. I could just make myself stop dreaming and day-dreaming to avoid my own mental role-playing games of what I wish would happen. Of course, this is likely impossible, so off to the drawing board I go in hopes of becoming less cynical and depressed over stuff that has not happened.
Daily Thanksgiving: I get to teach my friend how to drive stick-shift today and I have all day to clean and study! That really is a thanksgiving because I don't have school thrown in the mix. Also, HESI studying is not as bad as I thought it would be, it is just tedious and I don't take the HESI for a few more months but I am getting started early which should help me out a little.
Perhaps, I should just make myself stop dreaming... Just like I can make myself avoid chick-flicks, romance novels, country music and so forth. I could just make myself stop dreaming and day-dreaming to avoid my own mental role-playing games of what I wish would happen. Of course, this is likely impossible, so off to the drawing board I go in hopes of becoming less cynical and depressed over stuff that has not happened.
Daily Thanksgiving: I get to teach my friend how to drive stick-shift today and I have all day to clean and study! That really is a thanksgiving because I don't have school thrown in the mix. Also, HESI studying is not as bad as I thought it would be, it is just tedious and I don't take the HESI for a few more months but I am getting started early which should help me out a little.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Scholarship
I got a call a couple days ago about a possible scholarship award. They said they had moved my application from one scholarship to another because I fit it better and now I have an interview! It would be such a blessing to get this scholarship because it is really big and I don't know how else I will be able to pay for next year. L-rd willing, I will be able to get this scholarship, plus the RA position.
By the way, I still have no headway on what I am going to do about this guy that may have a thing for me. The more I talk to people, the more unclear I get. When I talk to G-d I don't really seem to be getting the big signs that I am looking for either and I am not quite sure how to listen to His still, quiet voice. I don't know what to do!!! And this is really frustrating that I cannot get a straight answer. Some people know my plans and they say that G-d will let whatever happen happen. Yes, I know G-d will let whatever happens happen, but that does not let me know if I should go ahead in a relationship or not. Other people tell me that it is just part of the "college experience" to date people and it should be fun to have a boyfriend. To me, dating is not a hobby or an experience. Dating, in my opinion, is like a trial for marriage. It should be taken seriously and used to get to know a person before you get hitched because marriage is a lifetime commitment. It should be fun, don't get me wrong, but dating is not just something to do just for the fun of it. So, I am back to square one, not knowing if my plans are truly the ones set up by myself and G-d, or if He is telling me to go ahead and scratch my plans to go for something better. To tell you the truth, I don't know how I got all of my plans and requirements and if I stick with them, there is a HUGE chance I will never, ever, ever date anyone. Therefore, I will never be able to get married. This is one of those days where I would love to sit down and have coffee with G-d. Well, tea for me because I get heart palpatations from caffiene or too much sugar... But I just want Him to hug me and tell me it's going to be alright and I need Him to tell me what to do. If only I could have coffee with Him, maybe I would have peace and reassurance in what I need to do.
This reminds me, I have not been treating Him right lately. He has not been my top priority, I have been my top priority. That is probably why my depression is coming back, that is likely why I feel helpless, and it is also why I am down in the dumps even though my life seems to be turning around and getting "better". To tell you the truth, I have not been reading the Word every night like I normally do, I have not been going to any churches or congregations at all, I haven't been watching anything online either. I have put Him on the backburner because I figured school is right now and G-d will always be there. While it is true He will always be there, we have the choice of whether to nourish and build the relationship with Him, or to let it dwindle. When we build the relationship with Him, He takes care of our entire life and allows everything to fall into place. However, when we let the relationship dwindle or take push it aside, we push Him out of our life and He lets us "drive" on our own for a little bit. Obviously not completely, because if I were driving completely by myself, I would not be alive anylonger. But He lets us think we are taking the wheel so that we can realize that we are helpless. So, my grades are not doing well, work is extremely difficult, I can't hear Him because there is too much inbetween us (all of it on my side of the me and G-d connection), and the Enemy now has a ton of footholds in my life because I am not surrendered to Ad-nai completely. This is a miserable place to be. Again, it makes me want to go to coffee and apologize and begin to build our relationship back up, but that is not how it works. So, I will begin again, asking for forgiveness and working to put Him first. Now I understand why so many people fall away from the faith when they go to college. It is so easy to let church or congregation slide, to let fun things infiltrate your free time and to avoid things you know as right when the world is offering entertainment and "good" feelings.
Daily Thanksgiving: I am so very grateful for G-d's forgiveness. His love is overwhelming and even though I know I messed up willingly, He takes me back once I admit that I was in the wrong and work towards getting closer to Him. I am grateful that He allows us to make mistakes because it means that He allows us to have complete free will. Many days I wish He would just tell me what to do, but where would faith come into play? He allows us to fall so that He may build us up for His glory. I am grateful that He has kept me safe and that He has chosen me to live this life. I am also grateful that the biggest problem in my life right now, is figuring out whether or not I should date someone. In reality, this is not a big problem at all, I just overthink everything and make a mountain out of a mole hill. I am also thankful that G-d is working with me on that...
For those of you who pray to the One true G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob: please pray for favor in my RA position attempt and also for favor for the scholarship. I am asking for favor for the largest scholarship award they allow because I really need that plus the RA position to get headway in paying for next year. Also, please pray for my acceptance into the nursing program and a really good score on the HESI.
Does anyone else have any thanksgivings, prayer requests, or anything to add to my above rants? I would love to know what you think about dating and our/your relationship with G-d! Please private message me or comment below. :)
By the way, I still have no headway on what I am going to do about this guy that may have a thing for me. The more I talk to people, the more unclear I get. When I talk to G-d I don't really seem to be getting the big signs that I am looking for either and I am not quite sure how to listen to His still, quiet voice. I don't know what to do!!! And this is really frustrating that I cannot get a straight answer. Some people know my plans and they say that G-d will let whatever happen happen. Yes, I know G-d will let whatever happens happen, but that does not let me know if I should go ahead in a relationship or not. Other people tell me that it is just part of the "college experience" to date people and it should be fun to have a boyfriend. To me, dating is not a hobby or an experience. Dating, in my opinion, is like a trial for marriage. It should be taken seriously and used to get to know a person before you get hitched because marriage is a lifetime commitment. It should be fun, don't get me wrong, but dating is not just something to do just for the fun of it. So, I am back to square one, not knowing if my plans are truly the ones set up by myself and G-d, or if He is telling me to go ahead and scratch my plans to go for something better. To tell you the truth, I don't know how I got all of my plans and requirements and if I stick with them, there is a HUGE chance I will never, ever, ever date anyone. Therefore, I will never be able to get married. This is one of those days where I would love to sit down and have coffee with G-d. Well, tea for me because I get heart palpatations from caffiene or too much sugar... But I just want Him to hug me and tell me it's going to be alright and I need Him to tell me what to do. If only I could have coffee with Him, maybe I would have peace and reassurance in what I need to do.
This reminds me, I have not been treating Him right lately. He has not been my top priority, I have been my top priority. That is probably why my depression is coming back, that is likely why I feel helpless, and it is also why I am down in the dumps even though my life seems to be turning around and getting "better". To tell you the truth, I have not been reading the Word every night like I normally do, I have not been going to any churches or congregations at all, I haven't been watching anything online either. I have put Him on the backburner because I figured school is right now and G-d will always be there. While it is true He will always be there, we have the choice of whether to nourish and build the relationship with Him, or to let it dwindle. When we build the relationship with Him, He takes care of our entire life and allows everything to fall into place. However, when we let the relationship dwindle or take push it aside, we push Him out of our life and He lets us "drive" on our own for a little bit. Obviously not completely, because if I were driving completely by myself, I would not be alive anylonger. But He lets us think we are taking the wheel so that we can realize that we are helpless. So, my grades are not doing well, work is extremely difficult, I can't hear Him because there is too much inbetween us (all of it on my side of the me and G-d connection), and the Enemy now has a ton of footholds in my life because I am not surrendered to Ad-nai completely. This is a miserable place to be. Again, it makes me want to go to coffee and apologize and begin to build our relationship back up, but that is not how it works. So, I will begin again, asking for forgiveness and working to put Him first. Now I understand why so many people fall away from the faith when they go to college. It is so easy to let church or congregation slide, to let fun things infiltrate your free time and to avoid things you know as right when the world is offering entertainment and "good" feelings.
Daily Thanksgiving: I am so very grateful for G-d's forgiveness. His love is overwhelming and even though I know I messed up willingly, He takes me back once I admit that I was in the wrong and work towards getting closer to Him. I am grateful that He allows us to make mistakes because it means that He allows us to have complete free will. Many days I wish He would just tell me what to do, but where would faith come into play? He allows us to fall so that He may build us up for His glory. I am grateful that He has kept me safe and that He has chosen me to live this life. I am also grateful that the biggest problem in my life right now, is figuring out whether or not I should date someone. In reality, this is not a big problem at all, I just overthink everything and make a mountain out of a mole hill. I am also thankful that G-d is working with me on that...
For those of you who pray to the One true G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob: please pray for favor in my RA position attempt and also for favor for the scholarship. I am asking for favor for the largest scholarship award they allow because I really need that plus the RA position to get headway in paying for next year. Also, please pray for my acceptance into the nursing program and a really good score on the HESI.
Does anyone else have any thanksgivings, prayer requests, or anything to add to my above rants? I would love to know what you think about dating and our/your relationship with G-d! Please private message me or comment below. :)
Monday, March 18, 2013
The Irony
Have you ever had life experiences where all you can think is "that's ironic!"? Most of my life is that way. A while ago a guy I had had a crush on for four or five years started dating a girl that I don't believe liked me much. We were all from the same small little church and it's just weird that of all the people that they could have started dating, they choose each other. Just like it's odd that my best friend, C, from middle school started dating one of my friends after I didn't share in his romantic understanding of our relationship. Now he is married, with a kid, that could have been me... And while I still love him as a very dear friend, I am glad it was not me that he married and I am even more glad he did not break my heart. I also find it slightly ironic that I now live in a town my family has despised all my life because my dad grew up near here. I did not want to come to this town, but now that I am here, it's not so bad. There are plenty of other examples of my life's irony, but I shan't bore you too much today.
In other news, I found an entire section of my university's library devoted to nursing, midwifery, obstetrics and all the stuff I want to do!!! Guys you have no idea how excited I was when I found it. I almost screamed and cried for joy at the sight of those beautiful books explaining the processes of labor and delivery and such like material. Well, not really, but my heart did get happy that my school has this section of books. Now I can go and learn on my own about material way above the actual material I need to know currently.
Spring break is three days away and I have so much I have to do. I have a paper due on thursday, I took my Chem test today and break is going to be spent reading research books for my next paper and studying. Unfortunately, HESI studying will be focused on during my spring break. Then Anatomy, Chem and Psych studying... school never ends. But when I come back there will only be 6 weeks separating me from no longer being a college freshman.
Have any of you heard of/listened to Francesca Battistelli? If you haven't, you should look her up. I love her voice and most of her music is upbeat and about normal, everyday life. It has become my Pandora station of choice during homework, leading to procrastination, but I love her music.
Do you have any fun plans for spring break?
Daily Thanksgiving: I am finished with my chem test, my anatomy tests, my psych test and on Thursday I will be done with my English paper. I am so close to being on spring break I can taste it and I do actually get to spend time with my friends for some of the time. I am so very thankful that I get to go home for spring break because I haven't been home for about a month, which is a very long time for me.
In other news, I found an entire section of my university's library devoted to nursing, midwifery, obstetrics and all the stuff I want to do!!! Guys you have no idea how excited I was when I found it. I almost screamed and cried for joy at the sight of those beautiful books explaining the processes of labor and delivery and such like material. Well, not really, but my heart did get happy that my school has this section of books. Now I can go and learn on my own about material way above the actual material I need to know currently.
Spring break is three days away and I have so much I have to do. I have a paper due on thursday, I took my Chem test today and break is going to be spent reading research books for my next paper and studying. Unfortunately, HESI studying will be focused on during my spring break. Then Anatomy, Chem and Psych studying... school never ends. But when I come back there will only be 6 weeks separating me from no longer being a college freshman.
Have any of you heard of/listened to Francesca Battistelli? If you haven't, you should look her up. I love her voice and most of her music is upbeat and about normal, everyday life. It has become my Pandora station of choice during homework, leading to procrastination, but I love her music.
Do you have any fun plans for spring break?
Daily Thanksgiving: I am finished with my chem test, my anatomy tests, my psych test and on Thursday I will be done with my English paper. I am so close to being on spring break I can taste it and I do actually get to spend time with my friends for some of the time. I am so very thankful that I get to go home for spring break because I haven't been home for about a month, which is a very long time for me.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
HESI-A2
Ahhhh! The HESI is starting to be a major topic of conversation for us pre-nursing students. I have heard some people do not start studying until a couple weeks before the test, others start at spring break and still others begin over winter break. I , on the other hand, will likely begin studying just before spring break and go over the information a couple of times. I bought three books and I am thinking of getting a fourth because it looks pretty handy. Have any of you taken the HESI-A2 yet? Are you planning on taking it in the future? What books are the best?
Today, I am thankful for my independence. I have been blessed with a job, I have been blessed with a car and I have been super blessed with parents that have taught me how to take care of everything myself. While it is difficult paying for grown-up life, I am so very glad that I have this opportunity to be able to handle my own bills, live my own life and be "on my own"... in most ways. G-d taught me, through my parents, how to save to buy my own car, computer and a variety of other things. But I learned how to save and handle my own finances. Now, I am working my way through college, racking up a bit of debt, but not nearly as much as I could be. I am grateful for the independence and freedom that this country stands for and for the people who put their lives on the line every day in order to maintain this sense of freedom for us. G-d has surely blessed us all.
Today, I am thankful for my independence. I have been blessed with a job, I have been blessed with a car and I have been super blessed with parents that have taught me how to take care of everything myself. While it is difficult paying for grown-up life, I am so very glad that I have this opportunity to be able to handle my own bills, live my own life and be "on my own"... in most ways. G-d taught me, through my parents, how to save to buy my own car, computer and a variety of other things. But I learned how to save and handle my own finances. Now, I am working my way through college, racking up a bit of debt, but not nearly as much as I could be. I am grateful for the independence and freedom that this country stands for and for the people who put their lives on the line every day in order to maintain this sense of freedom for us. G-d has surely blessed us all.
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