After a long first week of college for my brother and I, we are kickin' back tonight. We rented some movies, got some ice cream (non-dairy for me) and some root beer and we plan to have a good night. Today, he turned 18 which means that my baby brother is now an adult! I still think of him as a kid because we still act like kids around each other. In fact, we are going to make a pillow fort in our living room (we live together in an off-campus apartment) and we plan to stay in our fort all of tomorrow while watching our movies and eating our root beer floats. It sounds like a pretty neat 18th birthday to me, but I didn't do much for my 18th. It seems like he wants to go out with friends to celebrate and maybe catch a movie in the theater and go out to dinner but he doesn't know enough people to do that yet and I'm sure he doesn't want to hang out with all of my friends.
This got me to thinkin': I wish I were more creative and thoughtful. Now, I am highly introspective, to a fault. I over-think things all the time and drive all of my friends and family crazy because it seems like I talk a lot, but that is only to myself because I never shut up in my head but I don't vocalize what I'm thinking very much. Anyway, I would like to be like those people that can actually do the Pinterest posts and make stuff super creative and nice looking. I would love to do special things for all of my family and friends on their birthdays, or for any celebration/pick-me-up that may be needed. Unfortunately, I have ideas to surprise them with, but nothing ever works out as planned, nor does anything ever look as good as Pinterest... I'm just not a creative person. I am a science and math brained type of person. I like to have an unknown and a set way to find it. I do not like creating something from nothing and I never have "brain-children". So, here I am, having a slumber party with brother for his 18th birthday party. Oy!
But, we made it through the first week of college though! That means that while the rest of the year will be filled with tons of work, we will be finished with it soon. Plus, next semester, I have clinicals to look forward to!!!
Friday, August 30, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
My Lesson in Forgiveness
I have had a really ironic life, thus far. Many of those stories I have shared with y'all because many times the irony of life holds a message from G-d. This story started with a prayer...
I prayed to forgive my ex-roommates and the people that I have held grudges against from my whole life. 2 of my 3 ex-roommates got into the nursing school. We are in a group of 44 people who made it into the program this semester and we will be taking classes together for the next 3 years. Today, one of my professors informed us that we would be working in groups. These groups were determined randomly by her computer. 10 groups from 56+ people (because of the nursing students and some students who made the wait list for the program) and guess who I am put into a group with? The girl I need to learn to forgive. Ya, you know that hot flash that happens when you get really scared? I had that for a looooooooong time after learning my group. I texted her to find out some more specifics about the project and she replied and used a smiley face but she is also the one that flipped me off the last night of school before summer vacation so I don't really know what that means.
First semester there were the two girls who came to our university together from the same high school and they roomed with each other. We had the most problems together, primarily between one girl and I. The third roommate stayed out of the whole mess relatively well because she hardly left her room. I learned, shortly after our problems came to a head, that the third girl had been spreading rumors that I had been bad-mouthing and personally attacking the two girls that went to high school together. Second semester, one of the pair had texted their mom that they wanted me and the third girl to move out because we were staying in our rooms a lot. *In my defense, I have always been severely introverted and highly anti-social my whole life and I explained these things to them at the beginning of that semester (spring). They said they understood.* By accident, that text got sent to me instead of to her mom. About two week later, I moved out. Things were awkward but not as bad as they had been when I was living with them. By the end of the semester, I was saying "hey" when I passed by them and they would smile slightly or just ignore me, but it was better than getting dirty looks. Then, on the last day of school, one of the pair flipped me off. I have a feeling our third roommate had been telling them rumors again.
So, I need to ask for forgiveness, I need to straighten this whole thing up, and I need to forgive all three of them. Fast forwarding to this week, I get paired up, totally by G-d's design, with the girl (from the pair) that was the instigator of most of the problems.
Funny thing happened though, I went from being anxious and slightly angry to calmer and not super worried. This is only by the grace of G-d because normally I would be developing ulcers and would be unable to sleep. Instead, I am filled with Shalom, if only for a few days until the groups have to meet, but after the first few meeting it will likely get better.
Daily Thanksgiving: I'm half way done with my first week of NURSING SCHOOL!!! I love my professors so far and tomorrow I have my IT job until 12:30 p.m. (1330) and then I am off for the rest of the day. Friday is pharmacology and then I am done. I get to go home for labor day weekend, after I work a double on Sunday, of course. G-d is teaching me forgiveness and giving me the strength to get me through this whole mess I have help create for myself and these other girls. I have an awesome friend in all of my classes who is hilarious and super smart. She encourages me and keeps me focused. I am currently finished with all of my homework, as of yet. I know that there is more coming, but for right now, I am not procrastinating!
I prayed to forgive my ex-roommates and the people that I have held grudges against from my whole life. 2 of my 3 ex-roommates got into the nursing school. We are in a group of 44 people who made it into the program this semester and we will be taking classes together for the next 3 years. Today, one of my professors informed us that we would be working in groups. These groups were determined randomly by her computer. 10 groups from 56+ people (because of the nursing students and some students who made the wait list for the program) and guess who I am put into a group with? The girl I need to learn to forgive. Ya, you know that hot flash that happens when you get really scared? I had that for a looooooooong time after learning my group. I texted her to find out some more specifics about the project and she replied and used a smiley face but she is also the one that flipped me off the last night of school before summer vacation so I don't really know what that means.
First semester there were the two girls who came to our university together from the same high school and they roomed with each other. We had the most problems together, primarily between one girl and I. The third roommate stayed out of the whole mess relatively well because she hardly left her room. I learned, shortly after our problems came to a head, that the third girl had been spreading rumors that I had been bad-mouthing and personally attacking the two girls that went to high school together. Second semester, one of the pair had texted their mom that they wanted me and the third girl to move out because we were staying in our rooms a lot. *In my defense, I have always been severely introverted and highly anti-social my whole life and I explained these things to them at the beginning of that semester (spring). They said they understood.* By accident, that text got sent to me instead of to her mom. About two week later, I moved out. Things were awkward but not as bad as they had been when I was living with them. By the end of the semester, I was saying "hey" when I passed by them and they would smile slightly or just ignore me, but it was better than getting dirty looks. Then, on the last day of school, one of the pair flipped me off. I have a feeling our third roommate had been telling them rumors again.
So, I need to ask for forgiveness, I need to straighten this whole thing up, and I need to forgive all three of them. Fast forwarding to this week, I get paired up, totally by G-d's design, with the girl (from the pair) that was the instigator of most of the problems.
Funny thing happened though, I went from being anxious and slightly angry to calmer and not super worried. This is only by the grace of G-d because normally I would be developing ulcers and would be unable to sleep. Instead, I am filled with Shalom, if only for a few days until the groups have to meet, but after the first few meeting it will likely get better.
Daily Thanksgiving: I'm half way done with my first week of NURSING SCHOOL!!! I love my professors so far and tomorrow I have my IT job until 12:30 p.m. (1330) and then I am off for the rest of the day. Friday is pharmacology and then I am done. I get to go home for labor day weekend, after I work a double on Sunday, of course. G-d is teaching me forgiveness and giving me the strength to get me through this whole mess I have help create for myself and these other girls. I have an awesome friend in all of my classes who is hilarious and super smart. She encourages me and keeps me focused. I am currently finished with all of my homework, as of yet. I know that there is more coming, but for right now, I am not procrastinating!
Monday, August 26, 2013
First Day of Nursing School: Successful and Complete!
Last night was stressful, I tell ya. Let me give you some background into my anxiety about today's scheduling...
Yesterday, on my way home from my CNA job, I remembered that I have a new nursing student orientation meeting today after my first/only class of the day. This would not be a problem if I did not have to be at my on-campus IT job 10 minutes after my class lets out. Anyway, I emailed my boss yesterday (Sunday) to ask him if it would be okay if I went to the meeting and I apologized up and down for not telling him sooner but I totally expected him to be upset or give me a guilt trip or something. Instead, I got the nicest email saying that I could go ahead and stay at the meeting and just come into work as soon as it was possible after the meeting! After so many bosses give me guilt trips and everything for stupid things that aren't even my fault, it is so nice to have a boss be okay with my school schedule. I love my new IT job by the way. I sit in the library and monitor the tons of printers we have to make sure that they have toner and paper, but it is all monitored through the computer. So, I don't have to leave the help desk unless something is wrong or if a student/person needs some help. With all of that down time, I have the freedom and opportunity to study or do anything else I need to do during that time, all the while getting paid nearly as much (78 cents less, to be exact) as my high stress, high demand, back-breaking, and mentally taxing CNA job with the geriatric population. How crazy is that?! Plus, I learned that my boss' wife is a NICU nurse at a local hospital. She works on the level III NICU floor (which I don't think I can handle) and I want to be a NICU nurse before getting my Midwife certification.
Anywho, today worked out just fine. I got to go to the nursing school meeting and work went well. My first day is completed and it was a success. My brother also had a good first day and we kinda almost have this carpooling schedule down, or close to coordinated. I'm praying that this week continues to go well and that nursing school is more fun than I am imagining it will be. I am also praying for better grades than the professors make it seem like we will be able to receive... Everything is in the L-rd's hands and I have to trust Him to make me a nurse or lead me down whatever path He has chosen for me. That's scary, but totally necessary.
Random thought: I recently bought some new music as a treat for working 3 doubles, a single, and picking up an additional single (in which I filled the role of 3 CNA's for a couple hours and fought back nasty, nasty anger at the situation) in one week. Getting back from that sidetrack, however, I found a new song that kinda got me thinking. Does it ever seem like G-d is giving you messages through music, friends, common occurrences, etc? This song felt like one of G-d's messages. The song is "Haven't Even Kissed" by Moriah Peters. I like her music, it's fun and filled with messages about G-d. This song, in particular, is one that resonated with me because of my few months of guy "troubles". They probably aren't really troubles, but my mind is perceiving these experiences as negative. So, the song gives me hope and calms my bitter, self-pity because self-pity is a slap in the face to G-d. When we have our pity parties, we might as well tell G-d that we don't believe that He holds our past, present, and future. It is us throwing a fit and convincing ourselves that we somehow deserve more just because we are spoiled brats who are used to getting everything we want or at least hoping to get everything we have ever wanted. How lame is that?! It's awful! Every good thing in our lives comes from the L-rd and we have the audacity to tell G-d that He isn't providing what we want when we want it so our life is not good. I'm sure it even gets worse than that most days. Moral of the story, listen to the song or read the lyrics. If you're like me in my radical dating boundaries, then perhaps it will give you hope and snap you out of any wedding cycle (my made up word, look up my post "Return of My Cynicism" or click the label to take you to the post for the background to this made-up problem) like ruts you may find yourselves in, it certainly helped me a bit.
Daily Thanksgiving: I started legit nursing school today and it was a success! My new boss is super chill and my job is even relaxing compared to being a CNA.
Yesterday, on my way home from my CNA job, I remembered that I have a new nursing student orientation meeting today after my first/only class of the day. This would not be a problem if I did not have to be at my on-campus IT job 10 minutes after my class lets out. Anyway, I emailed my boss yesterday (Sunday) to ask him if it would be okay if I went to the meeting and I apologized up and down for not telling him sooner but I totally expected him to be upset or give me a guilt trip or something. Instead, I got the nicest email saying that I could go ahead and stay at the meeting and just come into work as soon as it was possible after the meeting! After so many bosses give me guilt trips and everything for stupid things that aren't even my fault, it is so nice to have a boss be okay with my school schedule. I love my new IT job by the way. I sit in the library and monitor the tons of printers we have to make sure that they have toner and paper, but it is all monitored through the computer. So, I don't have to leave the help desk unless something is wrong or if a student/person needs some help. With all of that down time, I have the freedom and opportunity to study or do anything else I need to do during that time, all the while getting paid nearly as much (78 cents less, to be exact) as my high stress, high demand, back-breaking, and mentally taxing CNA job with the geriatric population. How crazy is that?! Plus, I learned that my boss' wife is a NICU nurse at a local hospital. She works on the level III NICU floor (which I don't think I can handle) and I want to be a NICU nurse before getting my Midwife certification.
Anywho, today worked out just fine. I got to go to the nursing school meeting and work went well. My first day is completed and it was a success. My brother also had a good first day and we kinda almost have this carpooling schedule down, or close to coordinated. I'm praying that this week continues to go well and that nursing school is more fun than I am imagining it will be. I am also praying for better grades than the professors make it seem like we will be able to receive... Everything is in the L-rd's hands and I have to trust Him to make me a nurse or lead me down whatever path He has chosen for me. That's scary, but totally necessary.
Random thought: I recently bought some new music as a treat for working 3 doubles, a single, and picking up an additional single (in which I filled the role of 3 CNA's for a couple hours and fought back nasty, nasty anger at the situation) in one week. Getting back from that sidetrack, however, I found a new song that kinda got me thinking. Does it ever seem like G-d is giving you messages through music, friends, common occurrences, etc? This song felt like one of G-d's messages. The song is "Haven't Even Kissed" by Moriah Peters. I like her music, it's fun and filled with messages about G-d. This song, in particular, is one that resonated with me because of my few months of guy "troubles". They probably aren't really troubles, but my mind is perceiving these experiences as negative. So, the song gives me hope and calms my bitter, self-pity because self-pity is a slap in the face to G-d. When we have our pity parties, we might as well tell G-d that we don't believe that He holds our past, present, and future. It is us throwing a fit and convincing ourselves that we somehow deserve more just because we are spoiled brats who are used to getting everything we want or at least hoping to get everything we have ever wanted. How lame is that?! It's awful! Every good thing in our lives comes from the L-rd and we have the audacity to tell G-d that He isn't providing what we want when we want it so our life is not good. I'm sure it even gets worse than that most days. Moral of the story, listen to the song or read the lyrics. If you're like me in my radical dating boundaries, then perhaps it will give you hope and snap you out of any wedding cycle (my made up word, look up my post "Return of My Cynicism" or click the label to take you to the post for the background to this made-up problem) like ruts you may find yourselves in, it certainly helped me a bit.
Daily Thanksgiving: I started legit nursing school today and it was a success! My new boss is super chill and my job is even relaxing compared to being a CNA.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Maybe you're just confused...
Full moon = craziness at work for the entire week! It was made worse by the fact that I worked 3 scheduled doubles and another single shift. Then they called me in for another single shift (bringing the total up to a whopping 8 shifts in 1 week) but I was the only CNA when there are usually 3... Needless to say I was livid, grouchy, and I am currently burnt out at this job.
Good news, though, there is an opening for the mother baby floor at a local hospital (the one that hired me the same time I got hired at this old folks' home) and it's PRN too! The only down side is that their orientation is a week long and I have school that I cannot miss. So, I will call them about it and apply in November so that I can hopefully do the orientation over winter break and get set up in the hospital!
A thing that I have recently noticed about nurses, however, is that many of them (us) have diarrhea of the mouth. This means that we say really stupid things and have to remove our foot from our oral orifices on numerous occasions each day. I have also recently discovered that I have a relatively thin skin and can get easily offended when someone questions my intelligence. What brought about this discovery? Oh, years of being questioned and targeted as people's mission in churches when I discussed my questions concerning doctrines of the church that I do not see as being congruent or found in the Bible. What brought it up recently? My charge nurse telling me that I'm confused about my belief system because I believe in Jesus but don't celebrate the Jesus holidays (Christian holidays). I made the mistake of telling people at work (only when they ask) that I celebrate the "Jewish" holidays that Yeshua (Jesus) celebrated instead of celebrating the Christian holidays like Easter and Christmas.
My little spiel begins with asking all of you to please not assume that I took the change lightly. Going from celebrating Christian holidays all my life to doing the Biblical ("Jewish") holidays was not a change that occurred spontaneously. I don't do anything spontaneously, at all! I resist change, I research all areas of life that I don't understand, and I am too scared of life and possible consequences of any action to even leave my house most days or have any human interaction. (I believe that may have been a run-on... I am very sorry. I tend to have run-on's in my rants.) So, for someone to tell me that I am confused and laugh in my face in front of fellow employees/friends when that person is the one asking me questions about what I believe is unacceptable. Don't tell me what I know and what I don't. Don't tell me that I don't know something that I have actually researched for years on end. Oh man, you can tell me a lot of stuff, but don't tell me what to do with my life and don't tell me that I don't know my own beliefs.
Now I am working on forgiveness... I think this came about from asking G-d to teach me to forgive and to be more compassionate and patient. If you ask for these things, which you should because it's good to be working on these things with G-d, but be ready for a rough life for the next few weeks/months. Man alive! This simple little request has made my summer very trying indeed!
In completely unrelated news, I went to church today. It was really short, only an hour and a half! I am used to being at congregation for 5-7 hours because I get there way early to help set-up, then leave really late after everything is cleaned and put away. I don't know if I will continue to go there because I was actually meaning to go to another church but got confused so I improvised and tried a different one. Long story short, it was an okay service, but I am going to go the the one I originally was going to go to because my mentor recommended it and it is supposed to have a pretty good worship service Friday nights.
School starts Monday and I already have homework due the first day of class. 'Nough said.
Good news, though, there is an opening for the mother baby floor at a local hospital (the one that hired me the same time I got hired at this old folks' home) and it's PRN too! The only down side is that their orientation is a week long and I have school that I cannot miss. So, I will call them about it and apply in November so that I can hopefully do the orientation over winter break and get set up in the hospital!
A thing that I have recently noticed about nurses, however, is that many of them (us) have diarrhea of the mouth. This means that we say really stupid things and have to remove our foot from our oral orifices on numerous occasions each day. I have also recently discovered that I have a relatively thin skin and can get easily offended when someone questions my intelligence. What brought about this discovery? Oh, years of being questioned and targeted as people's mission in churches when I discussed my questions concerning doctrines of the church that I do not see as being congruent or found in the Bible. What brought it up recently? My charge nurse telling me that I'm confused about my belief system because I believe in Jesus but don't celebrate the Jesus holidays (Christian holidays). I made the mistake of telling people at work (only when they ask) that I celebrate the "Jewish" holidays that Yeshua (Jesus) celebrated instead of celebrating the Christian holidays like Easter and Christmas.
My little spiel begins with asking all of you to please not assume that I took the change lightly. Going from celebrating Christian holidays all my life to doing the Biblical ("Jewish") holidays was not a change that occurred spontaneously. I don't do anything spontaneously, at all! I resist change, I research all areas of life that I don't understand, and I am too scared of life and possible consequences of any action to even leave my house most days or have any human interaction. (I believe that may have been a run-on... I am very sorry. I tend to have run-on's in my rants.) So, for someone to tell me that I am confused and laugh in my face in front of fellow employees/friends when that person is the one asking me questions about what I believe is unacceptable. Don't tell me what I know and what I don't. Don't tell me that I don't know something that I have actually researched for years on end. Oh man, you can tell me a lot of stuff, but don't tell me what to do with my life and don't tell me that I don't know my own beliefs.
Now I am working on forgiveness... I think this came about from asking G-d to teach me to forgive and to be more compassionate and patient. If you ask for these things, which you should because it's good to be working on these things with G-d, but be ready for a rough life for the next few weeks/months. Man alive! This simple little request has made my summer very trying indeed!
In completely unrelated news, I went to church today. It was really short, only an hour and a half! I am used to being at congregation for 5-7 hours because I get there way early to help set-up, then leave really late after everything is cleaned and put away. I don't know if I will continue to go there because I was actually meaning to go to another church but got confused so I improvised and tried a different one. Long story short, it was an okay service, but I am going to go the the one I originally was going to go to because my mentor recommended it and it is supposed to have a pretty good worship service Friday nights.
School starts Monday and I already have homework due the first day of class. 'Nough said.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Incredible Words of Encouragement
I went out to dinner the other night with a dear friend and my mentor. She also just happens to be the lady that I babysit for. My goodness she is such a blessing!
She takes time out of her ridiculously busy schedule to ask me to dinner and sit talking with me for 2 hours. Not to mention, the drive to come to this dinner is 30 minutes from her home. Never have I really had someone speak over my life like she has. She encourages me, makes me cry with her kindness, and lets me know when I'm being silly and need to not do something. For someone who does not trust easily, I very much trust her (as much as I can trust a person) and I feel I would do anything for her. In fact, I almost postponed going to college so that I could stay at her house and help her with her 4 amazing kids through a very difficult journey for their family. If you don't have someone like this in your life, you need to start praying for them now! G-d speaks straight to my heart through her so much I can't even tell you. I don't even mention things in my life and somehow He tells her and she brings it up and talks me through it. She is my mentor, a very dear friend and someone I aspire to be like when I grow up.
Something she has recently brought to my attention is the fact that I don't trust anyone/anything, I worry (even more than I thought, surprising, I know!), and I am at my best when I am serving (as observed by others, not just me).
The trust thing was new for me. It encompasses why I refuse the flu shot. I don't trust that this silly vaccine, that comes out every year, is supposed to do me any good. In fact, there is some data suggesting that it is actually harmful. So, what's the truth? I don't want to get it, but my G-d is bigger than anyone trying to harm me, so if it is required, is it worth it to just get the stupid shot? If it is meant for harm, G-d can make it completely unharmful. Even knowing this, is it okay to submit and accept the vaccine just to get a different job in a hospital? I would only do it until I can move somewhere else that is still allowing us to make our decisions freely and not bullying us into injecting toxins and "inactive" viruses into our arms or snuffing said "inactive" viruses up our nose in the name of health. This is America after all, but less and less is able to be up to us... Still, I understand that I chose this profession and that means possibly accepting all of the terms of the job, including this flu shot. I'm still at a fork in this road. I have no clue what to do because I hate to back down after fighting so hard to not get the shot. Not because of pride, just because I don't trust that this vaccine is in my best interest. More on this later...
In other news, school starts in a week and this week is packed for me! I work 7 shifts (3 doubles and an evening shift) at my CNA job and I also begin my new IT job on campus this week. I also have to order books and pray that they come in before I have to start my classes because I was thinking I would get my financial aid refund check this last Friday but that didn't happen... So, I'm freaking out about rent, books, and the millions of other things I have to do this week to get ready for this next crazy semester of school.
She takes time out of her ridiculously busy schedule to ask me to dinner and sit talking with me for 2 hours. Not to mention, the drive to come to this dinner is 30 minutes from her home. Never have I really had someone speak over my life like she has. She encourages me, makes me cry with her kindness, and lets me know when I'm being silly and need to not do something. For someone who does not trust easily, I very much trust her (as much as I can trust a person) and I feel I would do anything for her. In fact, I almost postponed going to college so that I could stay at her house and help her with her 4 amazing kids through a very difficult journey for their family. If you don't have someone like this in your life, you need to start praying for them now! G-d speaks straight to my heart through her so much I can't even tell you. I don't even mention things in my life and somehow He tells her and she brings it up and talks me through it. She is my mentor, a very dear friend and someone I aspire to be like when I grow up.
Something she has recently brought to my attention is the fact that I don't trust anyone/anything, I worry (even more than I thought, surprising, I know!), and I am at my best when I am serving (as observed by others, not just me).
The trust thing was new for me. It encompasses why I refuse the flu shot. I don't trust that this silly vaccine, that comes out every year, is supposed to do me any good. In fact, there is some data suggesting that it is actually harmful. So, what's the truth? I don't want to get it, but my G-d is bigger than anyone trying to harm me, so if it is required, is it worth it to just get the stupid shot? If it is meant for harm, G-d can make it completely unharmful. Even knowing this, is it okay to submit and accept the vaccine just to get a different job in a hospital? I would only do it until I can move somewhere else that is still allowing us to make our decisions freely and not bullying us into injecting toxins and "inactive" viruses into our arms or snuffing said "inactive" viruses up our nose in the name of health. This is America after all, but less and less is able to be up to us... Still, I understand that I chose this profession and that means possibly accepting all of the terms of the job, including this flu shot. I'm still at a fork in this road. I have no clue what to do because I hate to back down after fighting so hard to not get the shot. Not because of pride, just because I don't trust that this vaccine is in my best interest. More on this later...
In other news, school starts in a week and this week is packed for me! I work 7 shifts (3 doubles and an evening shift) at my CNA job and I also begin my new IT job on campus this week. I also have to order books and pray that they come in before I have to start my classes because I was thinking I would get my financial aid refund check this last Friday but that didn't happen... So, I'm freaking out about rent, books, and the millions of other things I have to do this week to get ready for this next crazy semester of school.
Monday, August 12, 2013
A Glimpse Inside My Brain
Now, this whole blog has kind of morphed into a diary of my inner thoughts and experiences. I don't know if that is good for you or not yet, I'm still collecting and analyzing data from this little experiment. Regardless, I will share the random thought I had last night.
I was driving home at 11:20ish last night, just thinking about life. I started to think about how my "thing" has always been school and good grades. I have never been good at sports. Never been the class clown or even a social butterfly. I associate my identity, some of it, with being the quiet girl that sits in the back and does really well at school (sometimes, even without studying). College has since crushed that identity. I think that is why I was so distraught when I got an A- last year. The B I got in Micro was tough to take, but G-d has relieved my initial upsetness (that's now a word) over getting this grade that I viewed as being unacceptable. At the heart of this problem, though, is the fact that I realized I am just a typical person. That's disappointing. Doesn't everyone want to be extraordinary?
The more I thought about my ordinary life, the more I realized that my life is the "typical" type of life. I was a college freshman that lived in the dorms. Now I live in an apartment 5 minutes from school. I got my first job at 16. I went through school in the grade that I was supposed to be in (no skipping grades because I was super smart) and I was usually in the average class, not the accelerated classes. I graduated in the typical fashion, but didn't go to my actual graduation because it was on a Saturday. I grew up in the suburbs, rode a school bus to school or walked. I was not someone to finish high school by age 12 and become a full-fledged MD by 18. I was not born into royalty and not many people know my name. I may never actually do anything extraordinary in life, but that's for G-d to decide. So, I have to learn how to serve the L-rd in my typical, ordinary life. School is not my identity. I can only get my identity from the Creator. Period.
I was driving home at 11:20ish last night, just thinking about life. I started to think about how my "thing" has always been school and good grades. I have never been good at sports. Never been the class clown or even a social butterfly. I associate my identity, some of it, with being the quiet girl that sits in the back and does really well at school (sometimes, even without studying). College has since crushed that identity. I think that is why I was so distraught when I got an A- last year. The B I got in Micro was tough to take, but G-d has relieved my initial upsetness (that's now a word) over getting this grade that I viewed as being unacceptable. At the heart of this problem, though, is the fact that I realized I am just a typical person. That's disappointing. Doesn't everyone want to be extraordinary?
The more I thought about my ordinary life, the more I realized that my life is the "typical" type of life. I was a college freshman that lived in the dorms. Now I live in an apartment 5 minutes from school. I got my first job at 16. I went through school in the grade that I was supposed to be in (no skipping grades because I was super smart) and I was usually in the average class, not the accelerated classes. I graduated in the typical fashion, but didn't go to my actual graduation because it was on a Saturday. I grew up in the suburbs, rode a school bus to school or walked. I was not someone to finish high school by age 12 and become a full-fledged MD by 18. I was not born into royalty and not many people know my name. I may never actually do anything extraordinary in life, but that's for G-d to decide. So, I have to learn how to serve the L-rd in my typical, ordinary life. School is not my identity. I can only get my identity from the Creator. Period.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Meeting at the Reunion
Do you ever go to family reunions and you have to meet everyone that claims they know you? It's an odd event really. You know that you are related by blood or marriage to most/all of the people there, but you don't really know them. This forces a somewhat awkward situation. It's like friends trying to set you up on a date based off of the fact that you both like to bowl. You know that there is something in common, but what on earth do you talk about for the other 4+ hours of the reunion/date besides what you know about the other person already?
Last year, I met my "cousin". He's not really my cousin because his grandparents are my Mema's aunt and uncle. So, it gets really confusing and I just decided to save myself the headache and claim him as cousin. Anywho, last year we discovered that we would both be in the nursing program together. In fact, we had chemistry together the first semester. Unfortunately, our conversation stayed pretty minimal, at best. This year, the reunion was way smaller, but I got to talk to him for most of the day instead of smiling at stories of when I was a baby and these strangers/long lost family members last saw me. While this was a blessing, it was also slightly uncomfortable seeing as I am not a conversationalist and there were about 2 hours of luls in the conversation and an hour worth of talking... Golly, I need to work on my people and conversation skills!
Good news, I got to see my newly retired Mema and she may be moving closer to us! She is currently about an 8 hour drive through 3 states, but she is originally from the little town that my dad grew up in and most of her family is here. I so hope she moves down here. How amazing would it be if she could teach me how to be a nurse once I graduate?
Off to work a double... #too early (totally just kidding, I don't do hashtags)
Last year, I met my "cousin". He's not really my cousin because his grandparents are my Mema's aunt and uncle. So, it gets really confusing and I just decided to save myself the headache and claim him as cousin. Anywho, last year we discovered that we would both be in the nursing program together. In fact, we had chemistry together the first semester. Unfortunately, our conversation stayed pretty minimal, at best. This year, the reunion was way smaller, but I got to talk to him for most of the day instead of smiling at stories of when I was a baby and these strangers/long lost family members last saw me. While this was a blessing, it was also slightly uncomfortable seeing as I am not a conversationalist and there were about 2 hours of luls in the conversation and an hour worth of talking... Golly, I need to work on my people and conversation skills!
Good news, I got to see my newly retired Mema and she may be moving closer to us! She is currently about an 8 hour drive through 3 states, but she is originally from the little town that my dad grew up in and most of her family is here. I so hope she moves down here. How amazing would it be if she could teach me how to be a nurse once I graduate?
Off to work a double... #too early (totally just kidding, I don't do hashtags)
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Thoughtful Thursday! “I Learned So Much From You…”
Thoughtful Thursday! “I Learned So Much From You…”
Doctors leading by patient's example is such great encouragement. I love this!
Doctors leading by patient's example is such great encouragement. I love this!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Over Halfway!
I took my "midterm" today for my week-long class and I got a 89%. It seems that I can't break past this B ceiling of test grades lately, but I am very grateful that G-d got me this good grade! I was fearing that I would have done much worse, but there is a really good chance that G-d can get me an A in this class! That would be so nice.
I got my schedule for my 2nd job today and I work Thursday morning (I don't have any class Thursday which is perfect!) for a few hours and then I work Monday afternoon right after my Monday morning class. Hopefully I will be able to study during these shifts, but I'm kinda doubting it. I am just very glad that I do not have to work until midnight because they are open at 7:30 nearly every morning and they don't close until midnight most nights. I don't know why because we are just IT but I'm kinda excited for this job. I go and meet my new boss and another new hire that I will likely be working with. I am so glad that I only have to work 2 extra days a week and I really hope that my grades stay good this year. I am going to try really hard to stay on top of my school work, but I tried that the last 3 semesters of college (all of my college career) and it hasn't really worked completely yet. So, this extra job will either be extra motivation or it will completely sink me and I will have to quit before next semester... We shall see. I am getting better at not procrastinating. It's a slow, painful process, but G-d's bringing me along.
*Disclosure: the following rant may contain content that may make some people uncomfortable because it has to do with the spiritual realm and evil works that we are all currently witnesses to.*
In the meantime, I am trying to finish my homework and studying for my week-long class but my brother is playing this atrocious zombie game. Ugh! It's absolutely disgusting and I can handle barf, poop, bodily fluids, birth, surgery, and bones being sawed! This is just a video game but it is probably one of the most evil things I have ever seen. I am so appalled by the new popular fascination with the "living dead", vampires, ware-wolfs, witches, goblins, warlocks, and demons. Folks, these things are from the Adversary (Satan). Don't kid yourself. Teen girls falling in love with vampires that are hundreds of years old because he is "immortal" is not from G-d. Ware-wolfs and zombies are not holy, in fact, they are very evil. They aren't even original, these themes have been seen before... IN THE BIBLE!!! We are warned about things like these, but they weren't make-believe then and they aren't now. Read Genesis 6:1-8. Nothing is new under the sun and these things that have suddenly grown in popularity should not be taken lightly. Don't play these games, watch the movies, read the books, entertain the ideas, or buy into these lies. If you have, it's not too late, but you have to get rid of the materials and start praying. Get out of it and get it out of your house. Invite G-d in, don't entertain evil because that is just inviting the Adversary. I want to destroy my t.v. and break my brother's game because this zombie game makes me sick to my stomach because it is so full of evil and I am very sensitive to things like this. G-d gave me an extreme sensitivity to Himself and the spiritual stuff going on. That's right, all of the vampire, witch, magic, zombie stuff that is going on is not just man-made, it all has it's roots in the spiritual realm.
Moral of story: think about what you expose yourself to and what you allow your family to be exposed to. Things aren't as they appear and a simple "love" story could have a deeper, very evil meaning.
*End of Rant. The rest of my post is clean.*
Daily Thanksgiving: I got an 89% on my test! I work excellent days this next year and I got another job with IT! I am over halfway through my class and probably closer to 3/4 through it. 1 more day of lectures and 1 day of study/testing and then I am finished. I volunteer to babysit children with special needs on Friday with a bunch of my fellow nursing students of all classes (sophomore, junior, senior classes) and I am very excited! Nursing school starts in 18 days. G-d keeps giving us rain which is such a beautiful thing after all of the fires my state has had already this summer. G-d protected my friends house from any damage from the fire (when we were evacuated). G-d totally convicted me last night of my current overall heart status with James 3-4. Oh golly, He gives me just what I need all the time. Even though it is kinda hard to hear, it's the tough love that let's me know that He is still willing to shape me and fix me to be who He needs me to be. He has also given me more strength to get over this wedding cycle that I have been going through lately (it was slightly self-induced due to the 3 guys who were kinda in my life).
I'm exhausted, so I'm gonna go to bed. Read James 3-4, hopefully it can help you wherever you are in life. Let G-d convict you because we have to be broken before we can be reshaped by Him. It's like muscles. You have to over-work them so they rip (microscopically, a large muscle tear is a serious problem and you should get that looked at...), but G-d created our bodies so that when they are repaired they get bigger and stronger!
I got my schedule for my 2nd job today and I work Thursday morning (I don't have any class Thursday which is perfect!) for a few hours and then I work Monday afternoon right after my Monday morning class. Hopefully I will be able to study during these shifts, but I'm kinda doubting it. I am just very glad that I do not have to work until midnight because they are open at 7:30 nearly every morning and they don't close until midnight most nights. I don't know why because we are just IT but I'm kinda excited for this job. I go and meet my new boss and another new hire that I will likely be working with. I am so glad that I only have to work 2 extra days a week and I really hope that my grades stay good this year. I am going to try really hard to stay on top of my school work, but I tried that the last 3 semesters of college (all of my college career) and it hasn't really worked completely yet. So, this extra job will either be extra motivation or it will completely sink me and I will have to quit before next semester... We shall see. I am getting better at not procrastinating. It's a slow, painful process, but G-d's bringing me along.
*Disclosure: the following rant may contain content that may make some people uncomfortable because it has to do with the spiritual realm and evil works that we are all currently witnesses to.*
In the meantime, I am trying to finish my homework and studying for my week-long class but my brother is playing this atrocious zombie game. Ugh! It's absolutely disgusting and I can handle barf, poop, bodily fluids, birth, surgery, and bones being sawed! This is just a video game but it is probably one of the most evil things I have ever seen. I am so appalled by the new popular fascination with the "living dead", vampires, ware-wolfs, witches, goblins, warlocks, and demons. Folks, these things are from the Adversary (Satan). Don't kid yourself. Teen girls falling in love with vampires that are hundreds of years old because he is "immortal" is not from G-d. Ware-wolfs and zombies are not holy, in fact, they are very evil. They aren't even original, these themes have been seen before... IN THE BIBLE!!! We are warned about things like these, but they weren't make-believe then and they aren't now. Read Genesis 6:1-8. Nothing is new under the sun and these things that have suddenly grown in popularity should not be taken lightly. Don't play these games, watch the movies, read the books, entertain the ideas, or buy into these lies. If you have, it's not too late, but you have to get rid of the materials and start praying. Get out of it and get it out of your house. Invite G-d in, don't entertain evil because that is just inviting the Adversary. I want to destroy my t.v. and break my brother's game because this zombie game makes me sick to my stomach because it is so full of evil and I am very sensitive to things like this. G-d gave me an extreme sensitivity to Himself and the spiritual stuff going on. That's right, all of the vampire, witch, magic, zombie stuff that is going on is not just man-made, it all has it's roots in the spiritual realm.
Moral of story: think about what you expose yourself to and what you allow your family to be exposed to. Things aren't as they appear and a simple "love" story could have a deeper, very evil meaning.
*End of Rant. The rest of my post is clean.*
Daily Thanksgiving: I got an 89% on my test! I work excellent days this next year and I got another job with IT! I am over halfway through my class and probably closer to 3/4 through it. 1 more day of lectures and 1 day of study/testing and then I am finished. I volunteer to babysit children with special needs on Friday with a bunch of my fellow nursing students of all classes (sophomore, junior, senior classes) and I am very excited! Nursing school starts in 18 days. G-d keeps giving us rain which is such a beautiful thing after all of the fires my state has had already this summer. G-d protected my friends house from any damage from the fire (when we were evacuated). G-d totally convicted me last night of my current overall heart status with James 3-4. Oh golly, He gives me just what I need all the time. Even though it is kinda hard to hear, it's the tough love that let's me know that He is still willing to shape me and fix me to be who He needs me to be. He has also given me more strength to get over this wedding cycle that I have been going through lately (it was slightly self-induced due to the 3 guys who were kinda in my life).
I'm exhausted, so I'm gonna go to bed. Read James 3-4, hopefully it can help you wherever you are in life. Let G-d convict you because we have to be broken before we can be reshaped by Him. It's like muscles. You have to over-work them so they rip (microscopically, a large muscle tear is a serious problem and you should get that looked at...), but G-d created our bodies so that when they are repaired they get bigger and stronger!
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Overstretched?
So, I applied for a work-study job because I was awarded a work-study scholarship. I don't really need the job because I was just going to take out loans so that I would not be over stretched. I don't even know why I applied. I don't know why I interviewed. I really don't know why I accepted...
It will only be 10-15 hours a week. Probably usually at night and Thursday I have the whole day off, so maybe I can fit a big shift in on Thursday. Was this a huge mistake though? I will still be working my other job. I was going to work doubles on Sundays, but I think I am going to go down to working nights because that way the work is easier and I have a few hours to study while I'm still getting paid. It seems to be slightly less stress for me than the mornings are. Plus, I think better in the morning so I can study and do homework in the morning and then continue to study once everyone is in bed at night.
Am I nuts for doing this? I wish my brother would have gotten the position. It's an IT job. I am decent at technology, but technology hates me. It's a "joke" with my friends and I, but I'm pretty sure all technology is out to get me... I guess I can try it for a semester and then let it go or continue it next semester. We'll see. I'm excited to have a job that does not include wiping butts. I'm also really glad that they chose me because I thought I did terribly in the interview! Plus, the last 3-4 interviews I went on, I didn't get the job or I got the job and then they took it back (that was super downer because it was a hospital job).
School is going well this week. We were so early today that the professor dismissed us almost 4 hours early! I don't know how we went so fast because it seemed like a million people asked questions. Now, I am all for learning and better understanding, but some questions can be written down and asked after class. This is especially the case when they involve a 15 minute story about your great-great-grandpa's nieces, best friend's health condition in order to get to the question that has nothing to do with the story, nor does it have anything to do with our current subject.
I love people, I really do... sometimes.
Daily Thanksgiving: I'm half way done with the semester's work and we got out super early today. I didn't fall asleep in class (though I was nodding off for about an hour and a half during lecture). I got a job that I'm pretty excited about and I don't have to work with people very much because I'm just an IT person, not customer service! Plus, I don't have to feed, dress, shower, or wipe poop during the whole shift when I work there. It's also on campus and they start off with a base pay of at least $9.21 or something (base pay for me as a CNA is $10, that's ridiculous!)
I'm still thinking about boys and craving a boyfriend for no reason. Why is it that I want to be attached to a guy when they usually end up driving me absolutely nuts? I'm insane for wanting this, especially now that I will have 2 jobs and nursing school to keep up with. I tried to not mention this, and technically I could still delete this, but it's eating me alive. I want a friend, a true friend. Why am I not able to rely on G-d to fill that void the way I used to be able to? A guy is not supposed to take G-d's role. I am getting so lonely. I need to find a church/congregation so that I can go worship and learn about G-d. I so miss getting "fed" at church. Time to man up and find a place. No more procrastinating! I need this loneliness to go away and it won't go away with the company of a boy and I probably won't find a boy with the minimal time I spend outside of class, school, and in my apartment (completely unattractive, might I add because I love staying in pajamas and I don't have cute clothing style anyway). I need G-d to be back in His rightful place first on that list again because life without Him is not working.
It will only be 10-15 hours a week. Probably usually at night and Thursday I have the whole day off, so maybe I can fit a big shift in on Thursday. Was this a huge mistake though? I will still be working my other job. I was going to work doubles on Sundays, but I think I am going to go down to working nights because that way the work is easier and I have a few hours to study while I'm still getting paid. It seems to be slightly less stress for me than the mornings are. Plus, I think better in the morning so I can study and do homework in the morning and then continue to study once everyone is in bed at night.
Am I nuts for doing this? I wish my brother would have gotten the position. It's an IT job. I am decent at technology, but technology hates me. It's a "joke" with my friends and I, but I'm pretty sure all technology is out to get me... I guess I can try it for a semester and then let it go or continue it next semester. We'll see. I'm excited to have a job that does not include wiping butts. I'm also really glad that they chose me because I thought I did terribly in the interview! Plus, the last 3-4 interviews I went on, I didn't get the job or I got the job and then they took it back (that was super downer because it was a hospital job).
School is going well this week. We were so early today that the professor dismissed us almost 4 hours early! I don't know how we went so fast because it seemed like a million people asked questions. Now, I am all for learning and better understanding, but some questions can be written down and asked after class. This is especially the case when they involve a 15 minute story about your great-great-grandpa's nieces, best friend's health condition in order to get to the question that has nothing to do with the story, nor does it have anything to do with our current subject.
I love people, I really do... sometimes.
Daily Thanksgiving: I'm half way done with the semester's work and we got out super early today. I didn't fall asleep in class (though I was nodding off for about an hour and a half during lecture). I got a job that I'm pretty excited about and I don't have to work with people very much because I'm just an IT person, not customer service! Plus, I don't have to feed, dress, shower, or wipe poop during the whole shift when I work there. It's also on campus and they start off with a base pay of at least $9.21 or something (base pay for me as a CNA is $10, that's ridiculous!)
I'm still thinking about boys and craving a boyfriend for no reason. Why is it that I want to be attached to a guy when they usually end up driving me absolutely nuts? I'm insane for wanting this, especially now that I will have 2 jobs and nursing school to keep up with. I tried to not mention this, and technically I could still delete this, but it's eating me alive. I want a friend, a true friend. Why am I not able to rely on G-d to fill that void the way I used to be able to? A guy is not supposed to take G-d's role. I am getting so lonely. I need to find a church/congregation so that I can go worship and learn about G-d. I so miss getting "fed" at church. Time to man up and find a place. No more procrastinating! I need this loneliness to go away and it won't go away with the company of a boy and I probably won't find a boy with the minimal time I spend outside of class, school, and in my apartment (completely unattractive, might I add because I love staying in pajamas and I don't have cute clothing style anyway). I need G-d to be back in His rightful place first on that list again because life without Him is not working.
Monday, August 5, 2013
All Day School
I forgot how tough it was to sit through class all day! I am taking a summer/interim course that condenses a whole semester into a week and I keep almost falling asleep in class because I get so bored. The internet doesn't even work in the class so I keep nodding off during lecture and it's nearly impossible to keep my eyes open. The morning is worse than the afternoon for some reason, but I'm now done with about 4-5 weeks (out of 15) of the course! I love these condensed courses. Just get it all done with all together so that I don't have to mess with it anymore when I have so many other classes during the normal semester.
If you have to option to take a condensed course or a semester course, do the condensed. It is tough and intense, but you study as you go and the teachers are usually more inclined to grade easier and have slightly easier tests because it is so much work in such a short time.
By the time I get home I'm exhausted, my brain is fried, I'm starving and I just want to veg. I was more productive today though! For all of you procrastinators out there, not procrastinating is actually easier than it seems. I came home, cooked, watched a little t.v., and then started studying. It's not that bad, you just have to eat some carbs (I like apples and peanut butter) for brain fuel, and then dig into studying! It's be over before you know it as long as you stay focused. I think my major problem staying focused was the fact that I usually eat the wrong things and then I want to snack the whole time I should be studying so I start munching. Before you know it, I have gained 10 pounds in a week because I should be studying for a test but I get bored ad begin to eat. So, eat carbs (brain food) and some protein with a little fiber (to keep you full) and study, study, study. It's really helped me, today anyway.
Now that I'm done, I'm kinda really want to go to the county fair with my guy friends. I think I'm a little low on testosterone... I can't fix that this week, though. I have a mid-term Wednesday and a final on Friday. This means you'll likely hear from me a whole lot this week, unless I can fix my procrastination/binge eating cycle... We'll see.
Daily Thanksgiving: I made it through the first day of class and I'm close to a quarter of the way done! My family reunion is on Saturday and I get to see my favorite people EVER in my favorite place! I am getting better with cutting down on procrastination. I get to go to sleep now.
On a completely random note, I was recently informed that I am introspective. I guess it makes sense. I don't really see it because I'm constantly listening to my own, non-ending thoughts. I had a revelation the other day, but I kinda forget it right now. Once I remember it and have it "well worded" (as good as it gets from me, anyway), I will share it with you. It will probably seem like common sense to you, but it was profoundly powerful when G-d gave me the revelation so maybe it can help someone.
If you have to option to take a condensed course or a semester course, do the condensed. It is tough and intense, but you study as you go and the teachers are usually more inclined to grade easier and have slightly easier tests because it is so much work in such a short time.
By the time I get home I'm exhausted, my brain is fried, I'm starving and I just want to veg. I was more productive today though! For all of you procrastinators out there, not procrastinating is actually easier than it seems. I came home, cooked, watched a little t.v., and then started studying. It's not that bad, you just have to eat some carbs (I like apples and peanut butter) for brain fuel, and then dig into studying! It's be over before you know it as long as you stay focused. I think my major problem staying focused was the fact that I usually eat the wrong things and then I want to snack the whole time I should be studying so I start munching. Before you know it, I have gained 10 pounds in a week because I should be studying for a test but I get bored ad begin to eat. So, eat carbs (brain food) and some protein with a little fiber (to keep you full) and study, study, study. It's really helped me, today anyway.
Now that I'm done, I'm kinda really want to go to the county fair with my guy friends. I think I'm a little low on testosterone... I can't fix that this week, though. I have a mid-term Wednesday and a final on Friday. This means you'll likely hear from me a whole lot this week, unless I can fix my procrastination/binge eating cycle... We'll see.
Daily Thanksgiving: I made it through the first day of class and I'm close to a quarter of the way done! My family reunion is on Saturday and I get to see my favorite people EVER in my favorite place! I am getting better with cutting down on procrastination. I get to go to sleep now.
On a completely random note, I was recently informed that I am introspective. I guess it makes sense. I don't really see it because I'm constantly listening to my own, non-ending thoughts. I had a revelation the other day, but I kinda forget it right now. Once I remember it and have it "well worded" (as good as it gets from me, anyway), I will share it with you. It will probably seem like common sense to you, but it was profoundly powerful when G-d gave me the revelation so maybe it can help someone.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Disappointing End, But Finished Nonetheless
I got a 65% on my micro comprehensive final and received a B in the class overall. I am disappointed with myself, but I'm finished with the class and passed it so that's good.
My visit with my mom was wonderful. She took us out to dinner and having someone else cook whatever you feel like eating is a beautiful treat.
Today, Sunday, is the day I usually work but I took it off to begin studying and reading for my week-long nutrition class. I am slightly more motivated to do well in this class because I don't want any more B's ever again in my college career. A-'s are hard enough to bear, I can't stand anything lower than that. I have discovered that I am more inclined to study before I am stressed out and behind for a class. So, that's what I'm doing today. When I get behind and feel so pressured, I just want to throw in the towel. Therefore, from now on, I am going to try to stay ahead of the game to keep my cortisol levels down, some anxiety at bay, and maybe I will even have some free-time this year! Doubt it, but it could happen.
Off to the grocery store to buy things for Chicken Coconut soup. It sounds weird, I know. But it's not sweet and it's lactose and gluten intolerant friendly. I am slightly lactose intolerant, it makes my face break out and sometimes makes me sick. It's really unfortunate though because I love creamy, milk laden, meals and cheese. So, coconut milk gives me the sense that I am eating what I used to be able to eat and enjoy. I'll post the recipe soon.
Daily Thanksgiving: Micro is complete. I don't have work today. I get to eat Coconut Chicken Soup!
My visit with my mom was wonderful. She took us out to dinner and having someone else cook whatever you feel like eating is a beautiful treat.
Today, Sunday, is the day I usually work but I took it off to begin studying and reading for my week-long nutrition class. I am slightly more motivated to do well in this class because I don't want any more B's ever again in my college career. A-'s are hard enough to bear, I can't stand anything lower than that. I have discovered that I am more inclined to study before I am stressed out and behind for a class. So, that's what I'm doing today. When I get behind and feel so pressured, I just want to throw in the towel. Therefore, from now on, I am going to try to stay ahead of the game to keep my cortisol levels down, some anxiety at bay, and maybe I will even have some free-time this year! Doubt it, but it could happen.
Off to the grocery store to buy things for Chicken Coconut soup. It sounds weird, I know. But it's not sweet and it's lactose and gluten intolerant friendly. I am slightly lactose intolerant, it makes my face break out and sometimes makes me sick. It's really unfortunate though because I love creamy, milk laden, meals and cheese. So, coconut milk gives me the sense that I am eating what I used to be able to eat and enjoy. I'll post the recipe soon.
Daily Thanksgiving: Micro is complete. I don't have work today. I get to eat Coconut Chicken Soup!
Friday, August 2, 2013
Sippin' Sweet Tea
Just sittin' here sippin' some home-made sweet tea wishing the sugar hadn't settled to the bottom (I'm drinking the last bit of it and boy howdie! It is far too sweet for me.) I took my lab practical and final chapter exam Wednesday and I take my comprehensive final today.
Chapter Exam: 72% after adjustments
Lab Practical: 88% (I'm really pleased with this score because I was sure I hadn't done very well)
Comprehensive Final: I will update you later
I am having huge troubles studying though! 1) I have never taken a true comprehensive final before. My teacher says she gives the same final every semester to see how she is doing with teaching, but I heard it is ridiculously hard. Like, harder than her other tests. Plus, I heard this from some of the smartest people in our class who had to take it early because they have lives this summer. 2) I calculated the minimum score I need to pass the class. It's a 0. So, if I wanted to pass with a C and not worry about it anymore, then I could just skip this silly test. 3) I calculated what I need to pass with a B. That's only 30/120 points. This was probably a really bad thing to do because I have not been studying well all day. Knowing that an A is impossible and passing is a sure-thing, I have given up my fight with this class. I just don't care. That's not totally true. I do care, but I'm one of those people that will give up trying so hard for something if the outcome is so certain (as is the case here). I kinda wish I wasn't like this, but I wish that I would have done a million things differently this summer instead so that my A could have been earned, even if I did have to fight really hard for it. At least then I would know that I did my best. I think that's what bugs me about not getting A's. It's the fact that there is a score reminding me that I did not live up to my expectations or goals, especially when I only had this one class to take!
C'est la vie, eh?
On the bright side, my mom is here at our apartment and she brought... my Punkin! (Yes, I know I technically spelled that wrong, but that's how I pronounce it). It's my dog. The sweet, miracle of a dog G-d blessed me with in the 6th grade who embodies the entirety of a 6-8 page journal prayer. I still have the prayer too. She is my baby and I have missed her so much! When I come home, or when she gets to see me after being apart for a long time, she is so happy that she does this little wriggle thing and starts whining. The whining is super weird for her because she never whines or barks, unless there is an intruder or some kind of danger or when she sees me, I guess.
Work went really well yesterday. I worked with my favorite CNA and my favorite LPN last night. Both of them are trying to set me up with the LPN's brother. Good news there: he's not moving here anymore. He is on the army reserve and could not get transferred to this state from his home state so now I don't really have to worry about this fictional relationship suddenly coming to life. They are still quite convinced we'll find each other in some romantic, serendipitous way and he'll bring me home to meet his family where I will find the LPN welcoming me to the family with open arms. Me: ya, that's not gonna happen. But, I kept up with the girl who works that floor every night and I even had harder people. Well, normally they are harder, but everyone was completely exhausted last night. Normally, some people will stay up until 10 or 11 p.m. Everyone was in bed by 8:30... It was beautiful!
More to come tonight if I can remember. Daily Thanksgiving will likely be done then too. Hey, are y'all trying the thanksgiving thing? You know, everyday you find something new to be thankful to G-d for, even silly stuff like no traffic jam or sleepy residents. It can change your life and prevent the psychology thing of one wrong thing making you think of everything else that went bad that day. Just try it, it's good stuff.
Off to take a shower, get ready for my comprehensive final and then... NO MORE MICROBIOLOGY!!! Plus, shopping with my mom. Yay!
Chapter Exam: 72% after adjustments
Lab Practical: 88% (I'm really pleased with this score because I was sure I hadn't done very well)
Comprehensive Final: I will update you later
I am having huge troubles studying though! 1) I have never taken a true comprehensive final before. My teacher says she gives the same final every semester to see how she is doing with teaching, but I heard it is ridiculously hard. Like, harder than her other tests. Plus, I heard this from some of the smartest people in our class who had to take it early because they have lives this summer. 2) I calculated the minimum score I need to pass the class. It's a 0. So, if I wanted to pass with a C and not worry about it anymore, then I could just skip this silly test. 3) I calculated what I need to pass with a B. That's only 30/120 points. This was probably a really bad thing to do because I have not been studying well all day. Knowing that an A is impossible and passing is a sure-thing, I have given up my fight with this class. I just don't care. That's not totally true. I do care, but I'm one of those people that will give up trying so hard for something if the outcome is so certain (as is the case here). I kinda wish I wasn't like this, but I wish that I would have done a million things differently this summer instead so that my A could have been earned, even if I did have to fight really hard for it. At least then I would know that I did my best. I think that's what bugs me about not getting A's. It's the fact that there is a score reminding me that I did not live up to my expectations or goals, especially when I only had this one class to take!
C'est la vie, eh?
On the bright side, my mom is here at our apartment and she brought... my Punkin! (Yes, I know I technically spelled that wrong, but that's how I pronounce it). It's my dog. The sweet, miracle of a dog G-d blessed me with in the 6th grade who embodies the entirety of a 6-8 page journal prayer. I still have the prayer too. She is my baby and I have missed her so much! When I come home, or when she gets to see me after being apart for a long time, she is so happy that she does this little wriggle thing and starts whining. The whining is super weird for her because she never whines or barks, unless there is an intruder or some kind of danger or when she sees me, I guess.
Work went really well yesterday. I worked with my favorite CNA and my favorite LPN last night. Both of them are trying to set me up with the LPN's brother. Good news there: he's not moving here anymore. He is on the army reserve and could not get transferred to this state from his home state so now I don't really have to worry about this fictional relationship suddenly coming to life. They are still quite convinced we'll find each other in some romantic, serendipitous way and he'll bring me home to meet his family where I will find the LPN welcoming me to the family with open arms. Me: ya, that's not gonna happen. But, I kept up with the girl who works that floor every night and I even had harder people. Well, normally they are harder, but everyone was completely exhausted last night. Normally, some people will stay up until 10 or 11 p.m. Everyone was in bed by 8:30... It was beautiful!
More to come tonight if I can remember. Daily Thanksgiving will likely be done then too. Hey, are y'all trying the thanksgiving thing? You know, everyday you find something new to be thankful to G-d for, even silly stuff like no traffic jam or sleepy residents. It can change your life and prevent the psychology thing of one wrong thing making you think of everything else that went bad that day. Just try it, it's good stuff.
Off to take a shower, get ready for my comprehensive final and then... NO MORE MICROBIOLOGY!!! Plus, shopping with my mom. Yay!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Thoughtful Thursday! “Giving Birth Is A Natural Process…”
Thoughtful Thursday! “Giving Birth Is A Natural Process…”
Very true. Still doesn't firm up my beliefs about birth control yet, though.
Why am I even thinking about birth control? I don't even have a boyfriend yet...
Very true. Still doesn't firm up my beliefs about birth control yet, though.
Why am I even thinking about birth control? I don't even have a boyfriend yet...
Thoughtful Thursday! “…There’s A Beautiful Natural Birth Going On Here….”
Thoughtful Thursday! “…There’s A Beautiful Natural Birth Going On Here….”
1) Does this not happen often enough that it is somewhat of a special occasion when it does?
2) I am actually very happy that the OB was so cool about having a natural birth and even showed support for a natural birth by doing this.
3) I wonder how I would have responded... It seems like such a stressful, private moment to bring a kid into the world. Would I want a whole huge bunch of people standing in the room staring at the wrong end of me?
1) Does this not happen often enough that it is somewhat of a special occasion when it does?
2) I am actually very happy that the OB was so cool about having a natural birth and even showed support for a natural birth by doing this.
3) I wonder how I would have responded... It seems like such a stressful, private moment to bring a kid into the world. Would I want a whole huge bunch of people standing in the room staring at the wrong end of me?
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