The End of Me

I got a 68% on my Micro test. My professor then adjusted our grades so now I have a 72%, but still! I studied pretty hard for this test but her questions come out of left field. Well, I took the chapter test and the lab practical (I still don't know what I got on the lab practical though). I hope G-d pulls a miracle and gets me an A, but I seriously don't see how that would be possible. I know that G-d could pull a miracle and give me an A if He wanted to though. He parted the sea, brought the dead to life, and did so many things that are not logically possible for us mere humans, so I know that He could change a measily little grade if He wanted to. Truth is, I was such a slacker this semester. Unfortunately my procrastination skills have caught up with me and now I feel stupid because I got 2 D's (now "fixed" to C's in the grade book) in one class. The saddest part is that this is the only class I am taking right now! I should have had time to focus and really learn the material, but did I? No.

So, I am very sad and frustrated with myself. In psychology we learned that when one thing goes wrong, you typically will view more things as going wrong in your life. That is certainly happening with me right now. On top of the stress of me getting bad grades, I am now regretting ever saying that I would go to the movies with country boy. I regret leading the girls at work on by joking with them about my favorite LPN's brother dating me. I regret ruining my relationship with my best friend by telling him I liked him back when he revealed his feelings for me. I regret being so introverted that I push everyone away. I regret ever reading to or responding to my ex-roommates original text from a few days ago. I regret over staying my welcome at my friends house this summer and opening my big fat mouth about one of her secrets in front of the person she was trying to keep the secret from. I regret listening to country music, watching love story shows, and reading romance novels because they all skewed my thoughts from the pure thoughts G-d had kept in my brain. I despise the fact that I want a boyfriend right now. The list goes on for at least another 1749834 paragraphs, but I will spare you the agony of reading about my bad decisions.

Would I change my past? I think I would change some things, but who knows how I would have turned out if I had changed those things? Life is pointless as supported by Ecclesiastes. I love that book! If you haven't read it, read it. It's one of my top 5 favorites of the Bible and it is delightfully cynical and absolutely fantastic! When I first read that book, I couldn't believe that someone so long ago had the same distrust and confusion about the meaning of everything that I did. Of course, logically it makes sense because there is nothing new under the sun. However, I have been called weird by so many people when I tell them what is really going on in my head, it was so nice to have G-d show me that I'm not the biggest freak ever, other people think like me too.

Daily Thanksgiving: I finished my test and I only have 1 test standing in between me and the end of microbiology. I am not a total nutcase who is so completely strange that nobody ever thinks like me about life. I am not defined by my regrets or mistakes. Summer is nearly over which means that nursing school will begin and my life will hopefully regain some type of normalcy and/or slight calmness. Very little, if any, I'm sure. I don't work this Sunday! Having a few boys like me makes me feel like a catch even if I know it won't work out with any of them. I suppose it's okay to feel valuable, wanted, and pretty sometimes. Maybe...

The Days When I'm Not a Nurse: How to be the Perfect Patient (a link up)

The Days When I'm Not a Nurse: How to be the Perfect Patient (a link up): This month's theme is actually inspired by one of my favorite readers' comments in May's nurse link up. She said, "I thin...


Another cute post. Yes, I am procrastinating, that's why you are getting more posts today. I actually have 2 tests today and a comprehensive final on Friday, none of which I am ready for and all of them are for Micro. I'll keep you posted on grades, but I don't think I can pass Micro with anything better than a B because of my slacking and life circumstances (i.e. the fire evacuation and moving). But, no excuses! My grades are my fault and I am very bless that G-d got them up to where they are.

Enjoy!

My Life with a Nurse: A Man's Perspective - Nursing Humor / Share Jokes

My Life with a Nurse: A Man's Perspective - Nursing Humor / Share Jokes

Read this, seriously. I love it! I grew up thinking that guys are all tough, but nurses are tough! Even in college, I have friends with mixed majors and they cannot even stand me talking about my older population of residents.

I hope my future boyfriend/husband understands what he is getting into because I like a good, gross story. I love to tell those stories even more to someone who can appreciate it like I can.

So, read this whether you are a nurse, nursing student, medical professional/student, or anyone who knows a nurse (trust me, all of you know at least one nurse, even if you don't realize it yet).

Surprisingly Eventful, Uneventful Day

Work went well yesterday. Well, I was only able to say that after I was sitting in my car from a 13 hour day patient sitting a wanderer. Golly, it was tiresome and my back and legs hurt so bad I could hardly stand it. Then I had to trade with the other float from the other 2 courts because she can't do heavy lifting, so I went and did my best with the heavy lifting. I put 4 out of 16 down on one court and got another 2 down on the other court. I also put 3 down on my original court and left without putting anyone to bed on the final court but my girls were working the final court and told me to not even worry about it. I love them!

We got a new CNA at work too. He was in my A&P class and he made it into the nursing program so we will be in class together! It always helps to have as many friends and connections as possible. I never would have believed that, but it's totally true! Now, if we ever work together, we could study on the night shift and quiz each other. It was kinda awkward meeting him though and I didn't know what to say to him all night, so I didn't. I never come off very well at first. I should probably work on my first impressions a bit.

Yesterday, we also got a new resident! I recognize her grandson, which was also awkward, especially because I don't totally know where I know him from. I think he was in some of my classes this last year too, but I'm not sure.

Today, I have to study and finish reading for my 3 tests that I get to take this week. I'm really nervous and pretty anxious about them because they will mean I either get an A or a B  in Micro. I know that I could have gotten an A if I would have worked harder. That's probably the most frustrating thing. Plus, if I get a B, it will only be because I missed just a few points that keep me from an A. Maybe next time I will hit the books harder and I know that I cannot wait for my textbook until half way through the course, it just doesn't work. So, pray for me please. Pray, that by a miracle, I get an A in Micro so I can add another A to my transcripts and not be weighted down by a B. It's in G-d's hands, but I will do what I can to work towards what I desire.

My girls started talking about me being pregnant, I don't remember how we got on that conversation, but they are so sweet! They said I would probably be a really cute pregnant lady. I was thinking I might be a cute pregnant person, but I have an obsession with pregnancy and babies anyway so all you ladies with a baby in your belly are stinkin' adorable! But, I am a bit biased, so I figured I would probably be cute when I'm expecting too (not to sound self-obsessed or anything, I'm just talkin' straight with y'all). The thing is, though, is that they said it first! Oh man, I am excited to get married and to be pregnant, but it can wait awhile. First, I need to work on at least becoming a nurse, maybe even a midwife. Then, I will wait for the husband G-d chose for me and we can start having a family as G-d sees fit.

That brings me to a huge debate I'm having with myself. Well, it's been going on for a few years, but I'm thinking about it more and more. Is birth control okay? If it is, what types are okay and which are not? I want to do what is Biblical, but it's not like the Good Book has a chapter on the do's and don'ts  of this type of thing. I also need to research what traditional Jewish beliefs are and what Messianic beliefs are on this issue. I'll let you guys know what I find, but I may not share my opinion on the matter once I have decided. Instead, I want to present the information so that you can talk with G-d and see what you feel He is saying.

Forgive me for rambling, I woke up at about 6:15 a.m. on my day off and I'm having a hard time forming decent thoughts.

Daily Thanksgiving (for yesterday): Work is over and I survived. I have great friends. I learned that I can do the heavy lifting and work on our hardest court (with the latest stage residents). I may have a new friend in nursing school if I could just stop being silly and get to know him. I put 9 people to bed! That's a record for me. Plus, I was decently fast at it, even though we had so many strange behaviors yesterday. My girls are flattering me because they are still trying to set me up with my LPN's brother and they said I would be adorable pregnant. This is my last week of Micro! Next week starts my week-long nutrition class and so I have the whole week off (of work) including Sunday. G-d has provided enough money that my brother and I have paid our bills this week and we still have money left over! My mom is coming down Thursday to spend the night and she might be bringing my dog for a visit (I miss my baby). I went to that interview for an on-campus IT job and I didn't think it went well but they asked for my information and consent for a background check so I might have gotten it. I need my brother to get the job though.

Popcorn?

I just got invited to go to the movies... by a boy... I have to pick the movie, but this is proving to be a slight dilemma.

Tomorrow I work with my girls so I will talk it over with them a bit.

I'll let you guys know what happens.

Still feel free to give some input. Please, feel free.

Thoughtful Thursday! “You Are Awesome! You Are My Hero…”

Thoughtful Thursday! “You Are Awesome! You Are My Hero…”

Thoughtful Thursday! “…You Were Able To Control Your Pushing & Let The Contractions Do The Work.”

Thoughtful Thursday! “…You Were Able To Control Your Pushing & Let The Contractions Do The Work.”

Summer Wrap-Up

I have just realized recently that I only have a month of my summer "vacation" left! This week I have 3 tests in Microbiology (1 for lecture, 1 for lab, and 1 comprehensive final that would be sure to fail me if I didn't have G-d helping me through life). The following week I begin my week-long nutrition course which involves 2 tests, homework, and case studies all within that short week. I end that with hanging out with some autistic/special needs kids for about 5 hours and then I am on real summer break... for 2 weeks. Those 2 weeks consists of 4 shifts one week and 7 the next. So, I will hopefully have a whopping 88 hours or so (a lot of those hours are paid time and a half because I'm working doubles almost every day I go in!).

I'm pretty excited to be able to work and not have to do class assignments or readings. I like being able to focus on just work because school is getting on my nerves. Prereques are anyways. Fortunately, clinicals start next semester (Spring) and this semester is all about the fundamental knowledge of nursing! So, it'll be tough and full of memorization, but it will be good.

Maybe once school starts I will be able to post some more interesting stuff. I was reading over some of my past posts and my personal life is so boring! I'm sorry guys.

Work went well though. It was rainy out, so most of my residents were tired and sleeping. This was good, but it also made some strange behaviors surface that I have not seen from them in a really long time. I guess they'll be like that again in the winter time, but that's a ways away.

Living with my brother is still going well. We are actually getting along like we're pals. He keeps cooking and doing dishes for me and I am convinced that if he can keep this up through marriage, his wife will be quite pleased.

I texted country boy last night, we didn't say much because he was at a baseball game. I don't think there is anything with us though. I am too weird in my boundaries and morals, nobody is able to mesh with my outlandish ideals. Maybe G-d has somebody out there for me, but I don't think I've met him yet.

Daily Thanksgiving: Work went well. Texting is beginning to settle down for me. My ex-roommate has not texted back after I refused to reply to hers. Country boy isn't texting me and the other weird messages have ceased for the moment. My brother started his job today and we are getting along well.

Strange Turn of Events

So, country boy told me he was waiting for a text from me these past few weeks, so I decided to text him first tonight. We had a really odd conversation at first, not much was said. Then, by the end of the whole thing he was asking if we could hang out again. If we do, we are going to be hanging out as pals, but I have to figure out what we are going to do. What should we do? Remember, I am BROKE beyond belief. Good news: we are in an area where fishing is a definite possibility, we have rivers to play in, we could go muddin' if it rains that day, or we could find something else to do... Bad news: it against my rules to be alone with a guy (I have been down that road and it is a bad decision every time), I don't have a fishing pole, I don't hang out outside of my house and I have no idea what I even like to do let alone what there is to do around here. Folks, I'm recruiting you for advice. I really need some input. I need something from y'all, anything. Insult me (if you have to), tell me it's a bad idea or suggest something that we could do. My dear readers, save me from myself here. Remember, I am still at an age where my pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed which means that I am bad at making decisions. So, HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE, please help me.

Just got another strange text but I don't have the energy to even go on a spiel about that...

Daily Thanksgiving: My cynical day got better, then it got weirder. However, it started out really bad and got better so that's a huge bonus. I am so very grateful that today is over and tomorrow starts a new day and I can start over with a clean slate. I went to a really easy meeting at work. We talked about C. diff with our facility's pharmacist and she used a lot of microbiology and A&P terms. So, I was super stoked that I followed her whole presentation and knew the answers to all but one of her questions. Guys, I'm learning something and I see that it will actually be relevant to my career as a nurse!!! I love to learn and I get all nerdy about it so forgive that little outburst of geekiness, but learning gets me more excited than boys... that's probably a huge problem...

Thoughtful Thursday! ” Wow, You Know So Much…”

Thoughtful Thursday! ” Wow, You Know So Much…”

Encouragement for knowledge!!! I can't even express how much I love this one. Normally doctors, nurses, and some midwives belittle people for researching treatment options and care processes, especially if the research was done on the internet. I just want people to be informed. How they get their information is up to them, but the fact that they want to learn and are searching for knowledge is an excellent step in the right direction!

Thoughtful Thursday! “If People Question Your Choices, Use Me As A Scapegoat…”

Thoughtful Thursday! “If People Question Your Choices, Use Me As A Scapegoat…”

Love it! If you are for getting vaccines, this is a doctor you want. One that will take the responsibility to support your decisions and wishes for treating your children. This doctor is even willing to take the flack for any backlash the parents receive if they don't want to take it. I think I will volunteer to be a scapegoat for parents because it's worth it to make sure that their children are taken care of the way they want to.

My Week of Weird Texts

So, you know country boy texted me yesterday out of the blue. Guess who texted me today? I bet you would never guess ever... It was one of my old roommates. This particular former roommate was not one who I had huge problems with, but we are not on friend terms any longer. Today, however, she texted me randomly asking me how summer was, what I was up to, if I would be moving in with my brother, what he was going to me majoring in, and (this was the real reason for texting) if I had gotten into nursing school. I answered all of them saying that my brother and I would probably move in together (we already have) and I skipped the nursing school question. So she asked me if I had gotten into nursing school again. I didn't respond to that one and it's been like 2 hours so far...

I think people are convinced I am stupid. A girl who doesn't talk to me for months texts me to see if I got into the nursing program because I blocked her on Facebook. The boy who is talking about getting back with his girlfriend on Facebook is trying to get me to date him.

I promise, I am far from stupid. I may have my foolish moments, but those are few and far between. G-d gave me brains, He gave me wisdom, and He gave me strength. No body is going to be messing with me any longer. They may have gotten away with it in the past, but I'm through letting people dump their bad days and anger on me, especially when I haven't done anything! I am not blaming myself for every bad thing that happens in my life because I don't cause all of the problems. In fact, I fix a lot of them and I take responsibility when I do cause them. I am drawing my boundaries here and I am not being a doormat any longer.

I Promised But...

Y'all, I promised I would try to not talk about boys so much because I pretty much rant and rave about the same things time and time again but goodness! These boys are driving me insane. My country boy doesn't text me for 2-3 weeks and I am finally over him and I'm not thinking about him so much. Then, I'm sittin' in micro just minding my business, and guess who I get a text from. Ya, that's right, it's country boy. The first thing that went through my head was anger. A few angry words, nothing too inappropriate, but nothing worth repeating. Then a glimmer of desire for a boyfriend swept through my consciousness. I quickly crashed to earth from my ridiculous dreams when I realized I was wasting my time.

What are these jokers thinking? You don't talk to me for weeks and then text me up out of the blue?

This brings me to a confession I really need to get off my chest. I am suddenly craving a boyfriend. This is really annoying. I can't even express how frustrating this is because I still cannot figure out how to control my thoughts...

Daily Thanksgiving: I made it through the day without freaking out at anyone and I am over country boy! It has been tested and I am very close to being certain that I am over him and the ideals I made up about him. Also, I didn't fall asleep during micro... I was very close to crashing but G-d allowed me to survive!

That was pretty much the extent of my day. How are you doing?

Found Some New Blogs

These new ones I stumbled upon are fantastically witty and slightly sarcastic. I love them! I wish I wrote more like these people, but perhaps I can learn to write how I talk instead of writing like a 4 year old... perhaps. Until then, look them up and enjoy. One of them reminds me of Dr. Cox from Scrubs. I love his sarcastic remarks and rants. Check them out!

Successful Day

After receiving the call from work at about 3 this morning, I slept in nice and late (for me). I studied a bit, spent some time with my brother, watched another episode of my favorite show and then went to work. Now, work was good and bad. The good part was that I only had to work 5 1/2 hours. The bad part was that everyone was so uncooperative! Goodness, it took me 30-45 minutes to help change one lady into her pajamas and she only let me change her pants. Plus, she asks "huh?" after everything that you say even though she can hear just fine. It's like an automated response to everything. Man, I was getting so frustrated having to repeat everything and having the most nonsensical conversation I think I have ever had in my life. Guys, I don't know how much longer I can stay at this job. For my first CNA job I think it's gone pretty well but I am so burnt out at this place. They pay way less than hospitals or even other facilities but they are having us work with one of the most difficult populations (in my opinion). I have had so many days pleading with G-d to let me have a unit secretary job in the hospital or just any CNA job in the hospital. I would love to work in labor and delivery or in the NICU. I have even applied to tons of those positions because they are open in the hospitals right now but no one is calling me back. Oh well, G-d knows where I am supposed to be and for how long. If I knew how long I would be here I would either crawl into a hole and wait for death (not really, I'm being way overly dramatic) or I would cease productivity for my remaining days at work. I guess that's why G-d doesn't tell us His time frame for things, huh?

I was thinking about that on my way to work today. He allowed me to get into nursing school. Just a couple months ago I was asking for Him to tell me if I would get in or not. If He would have told me He would get me in, I probably wouldn't have worked so hard to pass the HESI with such a good score and I probably wouldn't have tried for all A's this last year. So, if He were to tell me when I would meet my husband and where, I would stop living and trusting Him to bring my husband and I together. Likewise, if I knew any of His future plans for me, and the time that He would fulfill those plans, I would stop doing anything because I know that His plans would be carried out. This is frustrating for me because I am nosy and like to have everything planned and understood. However, this is also very good because G-d is teaching me faith, trust, hope (which I really struggle with), patience, thanksgiving, and so many other lessons. For now, I will just have to let go of my frustration and learn to go with His flow. Someday I will be able to look back glad that life had all of the surprises He meant for me to experience.

Daily Thanksgiving: I do not have to work again until Sunday and work was not so bad that I outright quit... not yet. G-d keeps surprises for us so that we can learn a whole plethora of lessons with each of His provisions and blessings. Today I set up an interview for a job on campus for my work-study program. I interview on Friday and we will see if G-d wants me to work 2 jobs this next year. G-d is in control of life, which I am so grateful for because I mess mine up all the time and I'm not even the boss!

Work

Yesterday was insane at work! I worked a 13.5 hour shift with no break. I was the float all day and all of the residents were totally effected by the full moon. Newscasters said that it was the biggest full moon of the year so hopefully the behaviors last night were the climax of the year and none of the other full moons will even come close to being so bad.

Folks, through many observations, I have come to the conclusion that the full moon effect is very much a real thing. If you can help it, NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER work on full moons. You can work the day after, because everyone is typically very tired, but don't work the day of or 3-5 days before it. I'm tellin' ya, it's bad news. It's especially bad news for those few months where the moon is the closest to the earth and everyone wants to kill you because of it's magnified affects on the entire population of the world.

I'm praying that today is much better. Good news, I only work 5 hours today and for 2 of those hours the residents should be sleeping. Hopefully everyone goes to bed early and I can hang out with my girls! But I just remembered that one of my girls is on vacation for another week... This is quite unfortunate.

Daily Thanksgiving (yesterday's): The day is done and I did not scream, cry, or quit. I did not get socked in the face even though several residents did attempt to do so. 

Today, I got to sleep in... after getting a call from work at 2:58 a.m. to try to get me to cover a 6:30 a.m. shift that same day. Let me tell you, waking me up from sleep is not the way to get on my good side so that I will come in and help you cover holes! I understand that people call off, but come on! I get very grouchy when woken up from sleep because of a call from work. Then I can't sleep because they woke me up so I wake up even more grouchy.

Daily Thanksgiving (today's): Still to come. I did get to kinda sleep in though!

Advice From My Younger Brother

We are 17 months apart, but my younger brother (T in this post) is highly convinced that I need a boyfriend... NOW!

Today we were sitting at the kitchen table (in our apartment!) just doing nothing and we had the following conversation:

T: Your face is ugly

Me: Nuh uh! A couple guys said I'm cute

T: No, you go all naturale all the time. Would it kill you to put on some blush every once in awhile?

Me: I don't need blush because I blush at everything everyone says anyway.

T: Then throw on some anti-blush.

Me:...

T: Fine! Then put on some eyeshadow.

Me: I look like a hooker when I put on eye shadow.

T: Guys like that. Don't dress like a hooker, just make your face look like a hooker and then dress modestly.

Me:... ... ... ... ... ...

Ya, that's not going to happen. If a guy can't stand my face for what it is then we aren't going to go far. I am 1) too lazy to wear make-up and 2) I care about my appearance but I refuse to obsess about it enough to spend hundreds of dollars a year on products that I am allergic to. I can't find make-up that I'm not allergic to so then it makes my face breaks out. Then I have to wear more make-up to cover the break outs. Eventually I die from this vicious cycle that eats me alive and then spits me out so I can get run over by a bus. (That story took a dark turn, I apologize.)

Full Moon

As y'all know, I was skeptical about rumors of strange behaviors during the full moon before I started working in healthcare. Now that I am immersed in it, and in an elderly care facility, I very much believe that it is a real thing. Today is proof of it. Everyone was upset with everyone else. People were screaming at each other and many were convinced that their families and our staff were conspiring to kill them or to make them think that they are crazy. Needless to say, today was insane! To top if off, it wasn't even the complete full moon today. No, that happens tonight or tomorrow night, so we should be in for some more big fun the next 2 days that I work. Tomorrow I even work a double... I really have to start looking at a calendar with the moon phases before I schedule myself for shifts.

When I went into work today I wanted to quit. As I left, I still wanted to quit, but I somehow had more compassion for my residents at the end of the day than I did at the beginning. I'm pretty sure G-d changed my heart somewhere along the line today, I'm not sure when He did, but I'm very glad He did.

Nursing school: Now that I've been accepted, what else do I have to do? I have to get health insurance, the flu shot or a medical exemption, tons of books (totaling about $1000!), and I have to send in loads of paper work. This will be an interesting month getting everything ready for nursing school seeing as I don't believe in getting the flu vaccine and I don't have health insurance.

Daily Thanksgiving: I had a decent day at work and I got to talk to my mom today. I was accepted into nursing school and G-d will allow all of the insurance and vaccine things to work out somehow.

One of Those Days

Do you ever have those instances where you know what you want to say but you don't know how to say it? I know what I'm thinking and feeling (ugh! I dislike that word but it's the only one I can think of to fit this situation) but I don't know how to put it into words. I'm sure y'all are sick of reading about my boy problems and I promise I will try to cut back on those posts. Right now, however, it seems like I need to express myself with this whole situation but I don't know how to put into words everything that is within me. Please tell me I'm not the only one that has this happen to them! Maybe I just need to focus on school more and stop thinking about this because it's driving me nuts and you guys must me sick of reading about it. So, I propose that I don't talk about it much anymore. I will try my hardest to not make every post or every other post about these silly boys that are getting me all worked up because it's not doing anything to help the situation. Also, I know that this blog is for nursing students, CNA's, future midwifes, and anyone else interested in these types of conversations so I will try to keep my posts more along those lines instead of letting this be my personal diary. Maybe you can have a peek into my inner workings every once in awhile, but I wanted this blog to be for nursing students and the journey we go through because I didn't find a whole lot of blogs that really chronicled the events that I was curious about with regards to nursing school. Therefore, I am going to try to get back onto topic and stop this ridiculous ranting. I apologize to you all for putting you through that.

Today I met a nurse at the volunteer thing I went to. She works on the orthopedics floor at the hospital I got offered a job at, and she had some great stories and she was full of tons of information. She looked like she was probably in college, but she is a full-fledged RN and had been nursing for 5-8 years (I can't remember how long she had said she has been nursing for). She was very inspirational though because she moved here from several states away, bought her own house, is engaged, and is allowing her brother to live with her as he gets on his feet as a police officer. It's so nice to see someone so young who went the traditional school-job-marriage route, especially when so many people are discouraging that path for me. They want me to date, get married now, then finish my college, with or without children in the mix. But they want everything done right now. To tell you the truth, I wish I did have a boyfriend right now and I wish I had marriage in sight. Now, that is not the case and so I have to be grateful and trust that the L-rd has everything in my life worked out the way He needs it. Until then, I will hold off and be patient (as patient as I can be right now) and stick with my boring, traditional school-job-possibly marriage route that seems to be before me.

I also got to do some blood glucose tests today! The first time I did them I had to use an old-school lancet and that was no bueno! I stuck the girl who was teaching me 2-3 times and I felt so bad. Today, however, we had those nifty lancets that are spring loaded so you just press and the thing shoots out and sticks the victim. Golly, I love those things and getting to do blood tests is so exciting! I can't wait to learn I.V.'s in school. Something about blood fascinates me. G-d puts so much importance into blood in the Bible and in life and so to be able to see it and do stuff with it is so exciting! I can't wait to be a nurse. Then I get into class and I wonder why I am doing this at all... but days like this make me excited to be a nurse again. So, for the time being, I am super stoked to be starting actual nursing classes this fall with my friend from this last semester to help me through. L-rd willing, we will make it through to the end and be able to be pinned and we will become Registered Nurses with our Bachelor's degrees together.

Random thoughts: Yesterday I had micro class and lab, nothing new there. At the end of class, a strange thing happened though. A random lady came up to me with the scared, sunken in eyes look that people get when they are nervous. She asked me if she could ask me a personal question. I was nervous and immediately thought of everything I had done wrong in that class because she almost sounded like she was about to cuss me out for having done something wrong (which I didn't do anything but I'm always nervous and jumping to conclusions like that). She said she had overheard me say that I got into the nursing program at my university and she was wondering if I thought that a B would make it difficult for her to get into the program. Wow. I am so not used to people coming up to me and asking me for advise on anything! I gave her my opinion, my advice, and what I had heard from my school counselor and various others who had made it into the program and she went on her merry way with that answer. As I was walking to my car that night I started thinking about my acceptance. I have been so proud to be accepted over hundreds of other applicants and the fact that I made it into the program after my counselor had said that the first year was really hard and so many people drop out, I had pride because I showed her wrong and I got almost straight A's to boot! But then I began to wonder why I was proud. I didn't really do anything to get in. I slack off with school and then begin praying and scrambling to finish projects, papers, and to study for tests. So G-d does all of my schoolwork and He is the one to get me good grades. I did not study well for the HESI so G-d gave me another day to study and He gave me favor with the test when I did not know the answers. I did not do anything extraordinary to get into the program, G-d allowed the nursing school board to find favor with me to allow me into the program. Why am I proud? I have no right to be proud! I did not earn this acceptance into the nursing program. All of my accomplishments in life are really not mine at all. Everything I have, everything I have done (that is good) is because of G-d. He inspires me to do any good thing that I do. He is the one to provide good things for me in all aspects of life. I do not have anything to boast about except that G-d reigns supreme and He is Almighty. He provides everything good in my life. He protects me and He fixes my mistakes in life.

Daily Thanksgiving: G-d got me into the nursing program. He gave me a beautiful apartment and allowed me to be able to rent it with my brother this year. He gives us just enough that we do not go hungry, but He doesn't give us too much that we forget Him. He allowed me to have a very nice, relaxing day and I got some sun (and Vitamin D) while volunteering. He also gave me a little boost of encouragement through meeting the young nurse I met today.

Shabbat Shalom!

Why?

Lately I have had so many people question my every move.

"Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
"Why have you never dated anyone?"
"Why did you move in with your brother?"
"Why are you broke?"
"Why, why, why, why, why?"

My reply: Why is it any of your business and why do you care?

Of course, I never really questioned them, but I kinda wanted to. I am just a very private person and I don't mind sharing about myself, but I don't even know why I do everything so I can't explain it to myself let alone anyone else.

For the past couple weeks I have been mulling over my future in my head again and again. Why kind of nurse will I be? When/where will I meet my husband? Will I get a CNA job in a hospital? How will school be? Will I make tons of friends or just be one of those people who everyone considers a friend but is actually very lonely because she doesn't get close to anyone? (I already am like that.) Where will I live when I graduate? How will the next few years turn out for myself and my brother? Will we live peacefully together or will we kill each other? What is even going on?!

I desperately need to get out of my head and just let G-d control my life. He controls our lives whether we give Him reign or not, but life is way easier if we are not fighting tooth and nail for our silly desires and our plans because G-d always has what we want and need in His plans for our life.

Daily Thanksgiving: My mema came into town and I get to see her tomorrow! I also get to volunteer tomorrow, which I love to do. I got 140/120 on my micro unknown organism project and I got 80% on my vocab test from Wednesday. So far, living with my brother has been great and he got a really good financial aid award which means that we will not be overly stressed for money this year!!! I am so relieved I can't even explain it.

Thoughtful Thursday! “…We Know Your Body Was Designed To Do This…”

Thoughtful Thursday! “…We Know Your Body Was Designed To Do This…”

So very true! I love this statement.

Surprise Homecoming

Today I got a great surprise, my brother officially moved into our apartment! He had all of his stuff down here, but he still had his old job an hour and a half away so he was staying with out parents. He was recently able to transfer his job to a branch down here and he came down today! I wasn't expecting him for a few days.

I am so glad that he is home now though because I have been so lonely. Plus, I really love my brother, like a ridiculous amount. Sure, we fight sometimes, but we are best buds a lot of the time. We went to the grocery store tonight, at 11 p.m., and we had a great time. I caught him up on my current boy situation and he laughed at me... But it was great and at the end of the day, he really wants me to be happy and, for some reason, he really wants me to have a boyfriend. He actually took it pretty hard that I didn't start dating my country boy, but c'est la vie, non? (Non is how you spell no in French. I learned that in French class and it's one of the only things I actually still remember 4 years later.)

I forgot to tell him about my coworkers trying to set me up with my friend's brother but I have a feeling that if I tell him he will just try to actually work with them to make it happen.

Folks, I'm getting so beat. I haven't really had a vacation at all this summer and likely won't get time off until I am completely finished with school, retired from work, and finally taken home to see the L-rd. Unfortunately, life is ridiculously busy and it seems as though I'm letting life slip away. It also seems like I am growing farther and farther away from G-d. I'm going to try to find a church, for real this time, but it's so hard to find a new church. Especially when I don't really want to be going to church, I want to find a good Messianic congregation but I've visited those and have not liked what I've seen. Maybe I'm just too picky. My brother says I am too picky about food, boys, people, and everything else in my life, so I bet it's true.

You know, I made a list of what I want in a boyfriend/husband. Now, my lists aren't just random lists that I jot down, I make a lot of them. A lot of time and effort goes into thinking about them and praying about them. I made a list of what I wanted in my roommates for college, it was simple. I wanted all of them to at least be under the "Christian" umbrella and I wanted at least one of them to be "Messianic." Guess what happened? I got what I prayed for! One girl considered herself "Messianic" because she did some of the Jewish holidays (though I don't technically count her as such), and all of them were at least some type of Christian. It did not work out between us, but I think it could have been much worse if I had been rooming with people who drank, slept with boys, partied, etc. I thank the L-rd that He put me with the girls He did because I learned so much and He answered my prayers.

I also made a list/journal prayer about a dog. My parents had finally decided I could have a dog and I was so excited (and slightly worried because we had a dog before for 3 weeks but the dog wasn't a good fit, so I didn't want to have to give up another dog the same way). So, I prayed about it very specifically and wrote everything I wanted in the dog. Next day we went to the pound and G-d gave us the perfect dog. She is everything I asked for and more. The list was very specific but G-d provided us a dog that fit it to a T! We framed the prayer and we still have the dog 7 years later.

Funny thing is, I have prayed about boys before too. Sometimes I start to crave the attention of a boy (I'm just being honest here. It feels good to have a guy think your cute, smart, funny, and datable.) So, I have prayed that a boy start to like me who has certain qualities. Soon after, a boy starts to like me who just so happens to have those qualities. Up to now it's great for awhile, then I begin to see why it would not work out. Thank the L-rd that I have not dated anyone yet because my life could have been a totally different story if I had dated all the boys I thought I wanted to date. It seems as though He is showing me that I think I know what I want, but in reality I need to be patient and just let Him bring the right man into my life on G-d's own schedule. Let me tell you, it's not easy. I have the longest grocery list of what I want in a boyfriend/husband, but only G-d knows what I will be happy with and when/if I will meet this man. I hope I get married and I really hope that I meed my future husband soon because I am getting so antsy. However, it seems like when we try to speed G-d's schedule up to fit our own selfish plans, we just make the waiting worse than it has to be. For now, I will pray while I'm waiting. I will work on my relationship with the L-rd and allow Him to work on me being content single. When I try to find someone who is "my other half" or has a personality that fills for all of my personality flaws, I just get so badly crushed because I am relying on someone else to complete me. That is not how dating and marriage work! I have to be complete on my own so that I can share a life with someone else, L-rd willing that I will have a husband in the future.

I'm off to be complete on my own and work on my relationship with G-d before I cultivate a new relationship with anyone else.

Daily Thanksgiving: I am so very thankful that G-d listens to me when I pray. The Creator of the Universe listened to and answered my prayers about a dog. How incredible is that? He listens to us all and answers all prayers, but I am constantly amazed when He does, especially for the little things that are so trivial. I am thankful that my brother is home with me and that my summer class is beginning to wind down. I get to work the night shift tomorrow with my favorite CNA and possibly my favorite LPN. Hopefully they won't try to keep talking me into dating her (LPN) brother... G-d had protected my heart from so many bad relationships that could have happened but didn't. He has kept me ignorant when I needed to be, wise for other occasions, and always very stubborn when boys try to talk me into things that would be no good for me. I am a truly blessed girl.

Blessings and good night y'all! It's 1 a.m. and I'm very tired but still have to get up early tomorrow so I can cook pancakes for my brother, who is my best friend (here on earth, G-d holds the overall title).

Thoughtful Thursday! “Don’t Listen To Other People…”

Thoughtful Thursday! “Don’t Listen To Other People…” 

I want to be one of these nurses! So encouraging in the midst of so much discouragement from doctors, midwives, nurses, and other healthcare "professionals." I don't have anything against doctors, midwives, nurses, etc. I just believe that patients should be able to choose the healthcare experience they receive, as long as it is safe for them. Whatever happened to patient centered care?

Dating Promises

My friend recently went to a Christian youth conference where they made a list of promises about what they will/won't do while dating. I think this is an excellent idea! I would like to share mine with you. Feel free to add to it or cut things out. You can tell me if I am being completely irrational or if I am not being strict enough. I would like input, if you have any, because I haven't dated anyone, ever, so these are based on ideal circumstances and not totally on experience.

1. I promise to communicate. I want him to know my boundaries and I want to know his. I will work on telling him, and others, what I need, what I want, what I like/don't like, etc. 
2. I promise to not hang out alone. I have already broken this promise several times but no more!
3. I promise to not kiss anyone until my wedding day, and I will only ever kiss my husband.
4. I promise to hear him out when he needs/wants something, if he gets jealous, if he wants me to start/stop something. I may not comply with his requests, but we will talk it over and I will explain why I will/won't/can't do something. 
5. I promise to conduct myself in such a manner that I would not be ashamed of the conversation or activities taking place should my parents, family, friends, children (adopted and future) find out or walk in on us.
6. I promise to hold him accountable to promises, convictions, and problems I witness or hear about. I will not consider him guilty if a rumor should begin, but I will ask him about it and take his word.
7. I promise to do my best to maintain a holy relationship through dating, engagement, and marriage with him.
8. I promise to stay honest, even if the truth will hurt him. I will try my best to not intentionally hurt him or anyone who happens to be pursuing me. However, I do not want to string anyone along simply because I do not want to hurt them. Stringing them along will hurt them (and myself) more than it would if I am just honest in the beginning.
9.  I promise to love G-d more than I love my boyfriend/husband or anyone else. 
10. I promise to do my best to find a man that loves G-d more than he loves me or anyone else.

This is just a short list, but I think it gets down to the core of what I need from a relationship. G-d knows who He has chosen for me, if I will indeed date/marry, but these are rules that I feel are G-d inspired to protect me and potential suitors. (I know I use a lot of weird vocabulary like suitors, pursuing me, etc. I'm an old soul with very traditional views and an old-fashioned vocabulary.)

I encourage you to make your own list and keep adding to it as you think about dating/marriage. If I had been keeping all of these promises to myself and G-d my heart would not be so heavy right now and I would know that I had done everything possible to protect my heart for my husband. Life also would have been much easier for me... Unfortunately, I gave in and now I have a lot of regrets. From now on, however, I will be keeping these promises to the best of my ability in order to maintain my integrity, my innocence, and my pure heart.

Minor Shock

I just ordered textbooks for the nursing program and it came out to over $1100! I almost had a heart attack and I'm still in shock. Why is this so expensive? It would be nice if all of the nursing students got together and one class of students bought all the books then they passed them down to incoming students for a small fee. When the books are deemed "outdated" by the school then the students who actually own them can sell them on amazon or something because there is always someone using those books. Let's beat the system people! I am going to find someone in the incoming class to use my book next year and I will charge them maybe $50 to use the whole lot of them and then they will give them back at the end of the year so I can find another person to use them the next year. I will do this all 3 years and make just a tiny bit of money but it will save so much money for the other people! Co-op folks! We're all being forced into this ridiculous system of buying overpriced books anyway so let's work with each other and find a way around their ridiculous prices.

Sorry I'm getting so worked up, I don't like spending so much money on anything let alone silly books that would have been cheaper if I didn't have to buy from the bookstore just so that I can use my student account instead of my credit card (which is pretty much maxed out all the time now). Plus I am frustrated with other life circumstances right now that I cannot talk about right now. I called my mom last night to talk with her, but she had to go. She promised to call back but she must have fallen asleep.

In happier news, I bought some new music when I finally got my paycheck and I love it! Addison Road is one of my favorite bands and I just got both of their albums on amazon. Definitely check them out. Stories, This Could Be Our Day, and so many other songs have been on repeat for the past few days. I found them on Pandora and I couldn't be happier with the purchase to finally have their music for myself.

Daily Thanksgiving: My coffee date went well yesterday and my friend brought to my attention some interesting things about my country boy's situation. She is so honest and doesn't beat around the bush. It's hard to hear sometimes, but she is good for me, I think. She brings a new perspective to my struggles and isn't afraid to hurt my feelings or offend me. I got to talk to my mom. I was pretty productive yesterday and still had time to relax and watch my shows. I get to volunteer tonight and I found out how to volunteer to go hold babies!!!

Future Husband

Yesterday I worked a double at work (15 hours) and my favorite evening LPN and my favorite CNA's worked too! All of the residents were really tired too so they all went to bed early. This left me in a position I've never been in before... I was finished with my duties 2 hours early... AS THE FLOAT! That never happens, especially to me. But I put more people to bed than I am required to, I finished all of my work and then some. So, I got to chat with my pals. The LPN is the girl trying to set me up with her brother and she is in cahoots with one of my favorite CNA's that worked last night. They kept asking me silly questions then would freak out when I gave them my answers.

LPN: "Do you like cats?"
Me: "I'm allergic to cats, so not really." (Readers, I don't have anything against them, their are adorable but I can't do anything about allergies so please don't be offended by this answer.)
LPN: "*gasp* He doesn't like cats! What about dogs?"
Me: "I like dogs."
LPN: "What kind? Do you like dobermans?"
Me: "I love dobermans, I was planning on getting one anyway once I get a house with a yard."
LPN: *Goes nuts gasping, smiling, almost having a stroke with excitement*
Me: *Thinks to self: 'She is really getting way over-excited! Her brother will probably not even really "like" me, especially not enough to marry me'*

That conversation carried on for about an hour or so. Her and a couple other CNA's just kept asking questions about me, silly question, and they convinced themselves we would be perfect for each other. I'm not saying that G-d couldn't bring me my husband this way, but let's be honest, it's not necessarily realistic to be planning on marriage from this. Plus, she would want me to be a missionary dater (someone to date someone else in order to help the second person improve their life, find G-d, etc). I will not do that because it would all go away once we break up. Plus, if they changed their life for me instead of for G-d and for themselves, then it's not necessarily real. It would likely be an act that would cause strife, resentment, and a host of other ill-feelings towards the entire situation, G-d, me, and his sister.

This whole ordeal has gotten me to thinking about what I want in a husband and the absolute foremost thing I need is for him to love G-d more than anyone or anything, including more than me or our children or his family. G-d is most important because marriage is only for this life, it doesn't transfer into eternity. G-d created us for eternity, for Himself. If He chooses to bless us with a companion for our life here then so be it. If not, we are still His and our relationship is the only thing that will last for eternity. So, he has to love G-d more than anyone or anything and he has to have this love and connection with Him before I ever meet him. I don't want this passion for G-d to be on my account because I would have no way of knowing if it is all an act for me or not. Truly, I will never really know if it's real because I cannot know his heart for certain, but I trust that the L-rd will reveal the truth before we marry and likely before we start dating.

Daily Thanksgiving: I have friends at work! I keep having to think about dating but G-d is showing me that marriage may be a possibility in my future because I had really been struggling with thoughts that I am unmarryable (I think I just made that word up but you know what I mean). I have the next 3 days off to study, do homework, get caught up and ahead in micro. I have a coffee date with my nursing school mentor/G-d adviser today. I get to volunteer tomorrow night. Work went really well yesterday. I have an apartment! I don't have to drive 2 hours each way everyday. It's rainy today, which I absolutely love. G-d is reassuring me in this journey of life. He is correcting me and leading me.

Funny Quotes

Here are some things people have said to me lately that made me laugh just a bit:

"Coffee is better than sex!" (A new resident when asked if he wanted coffee with lunch)

"Don't call me mister. Call me lover, call me sexy, call me anything but mister." (Same resident when I was walking him to his room to get a jacket. I didn't call him mister, ever...)

"You are sexy!" (A lady resident to me because she heard t.v. infomercial say sexy. This one made me blush!)

"What does you future husband look like?" (A resident out of the clear blue sky when I asked if she wanted lunch. Ironically, it was after one of my pregnancy dreams and I was thinking about my country boy at the time. Very odd timing!)

"My goodness, she is so tall!" (A group of lady residents as I was walking away. I feel like a giant at work because the staff and residents are all shorter than me but I'm only 5'6"!)

"Are you pregnant?" (Female resident to a male CNA. It made no sense but I was sitting with 3-4 other CNA's and we were all in stitches from this one!)


There are some other gems but I can't think of them right now. I think this will be a new on-going post though because I am laughing all the time at funny things people are saying everywhere I go.

Job Hunt

I've been looking for another job, hopefully in a hospital, but I'm not getting any bites yet. I would really like to work somewhere that would pay me more and where I could get some experience in the hospital. Unfortunately, I went for an interview 2 weeks ago and they still haven't called me back. On the bright side, positions in the NICU opened up! The job would be a unit secretary of the unit and so I have applied for that position like 6 times, no joke! I just want to do something else besides working in a nursing home. I absolutely love my patients, but I'm burn out at this place. I don't make much but they require us to do so many extra little things since our residents have such severe behaviors. I want the residents to be safe and to be as comfortable and engaged as possible, but the administrators change so frequently that they don't necessarily know what is really going on with the residents.

I suppose I am largely to blame for getting burnt out. Trying to work 50+ hours a week on top of taking microbiology in a condensed, intense course was not a wise choice. Maybe when I get my two weeks of summer in between my week-long course and my actual fall nursing classes I can work a 3-4 doubles and then take the rest of the time off to go camping, swimming, fishing, muddin', etc. For some reason I keep thinking that this summer wouldn't have been so bad if I could have just worked and not had the stress of school, but I would have been burnt out still working so much. A major positive, however, is that I have made loads of friends at work and I am getting way faster at toileting, feeding, bathing, dressing, vitals, and everything else a CNA does! So, being so exhausted is not completely a terrible thing because I don't feel so lost anymore and work is now just work instead of being this awful beast that I dreaded with all of my being.

I got a 88% on my last test in micro too! I can't remember if I had already told you about that or not yet, so here it is. I cut down on my hours and actually studied for this last test and G-d gave me an amazing grade. Plus, I finally got a textbook so I can finally study for the course instead of guessing... I would have been making much better grades if I would have had the book the whole time, but you life and learn I suppose.

Daily Thanksgiving: I got to go swimming with my friend and we had a nice afternoon hanging out. I got a really good grade and I'm getting somewhere around a B in micro. G-d provided me with a great apartment that I am loving more and more each day. I got to see my brother yesterday and he got a job down here so he should be coming back down to stay here shortly! My boys (my guy friends from school) are moving in to the complex (the same apartment complex as me) at the end of this month. That means that I will have all of my boys to protect me and I can protect them, once I get my shotgun... Anywho, I have to go to work tomorrow, but then I have the rest of the week off until Thursday and I hope to get a lot accomplished on my days off but I also pray that the days I go to work will be nonstressful, good, calm, easy days. I have friends at work!

I GOT INTERNET!!!

So, it turns out that the modem was up at the front desk of my apartment complex since July 4th and it's now July 12... Now I know that when the front desk signs for a package, they don't notify you that it's come. That's really good to know.

Anyway, let's get down to the juicy news.

Haha, there is none. Come on folks, let's face it, I never really have anything "juicy" going on in my life.

Outline for today's post as promised:

1) My rant about boys... They have been driving me nuts, but I still love them. My country boy, when I had originally posted this, had not texted me for about a week and a half after I told him I wasn't going to date anyone right now. I guess it's not really the fault of boys though, for the most part, it just drives me insane that I find myself thinking about them so much. I beat myself up wondering what I had done to cause him to stop texting me for so long. Then I considered breaking my promise to G-d about not dating for awhile. By breaking the promise to G-d, I would have been breaking the promise to my future husband too. I almost considered kissing this boy! Why? I don't know. I think it's probably hormones which makes me mad because I should be able to control my thoughts, but I didn't feel in control during that whole ordeal. He finally texted me a few nights ago. Then I texted him the next night and we had a short little conversation both times, but he doesn't seem interested anymore. That is totally okay though because I don't think that 1) we were meant for each other, 2) that dating him would have been a good idea. I thought he was cute, interesting, fun, etc, but my friend (that had grown up with him) discouraged me from even going down that path. I figure she knows better than I do.

Also, boys keep using the same lines with me. It may be a different boy, but they all say the same words! I know that they are lying so why do they try it? "I think you are gorgeous and the most intelligent girl I have ever met, blah, blah, blah." Seriously? I own mirrors, first of all. Secondly, you've talked to me for a total of 15 seconds and you think I'm the most intelligent girl you've ever talked to? I am smart and I am made beautifully (as we all are) by G-d, but don't try to flatter me by stretching the truth so that we both know that you're lying. Come on!

2) My future blind-date... So, the girls at work started asking (completely randomly) if I had a boyfriend. I said no. They asked why. I told them that boys are silly (I did not even get into the whole situation mentioned above or the millions of other things that have happened to me that prove this statement). One of the girls just happens to have a brother who is 22 and he isn't dating anyone either. Naturally this means that the both of us need to get hitched and start breeding like rabbits, right? Now they are convinced that we belong together and that we really are going to get married. In this hypothetical life they have created, the only part that I agree with is the fact that our first date would be at a gun range. I don't agree with the person I would be going with or anything else besides that, but a date at the gun range would be fun!

3) A description of my new apartment... It's amazing! Everything I wanted, minus the price. It's a little bit more than I had originally wanted to spend each month, but I have a washer/dryer in my apartment! I have a fire place and my brother and I both have our own bathrooms! So no fighting over the mirror in the mornings.

4) I keep having dreams about being pregnant and about boys... This one was probably stemming from my country boy problems, but it has since subsided. It was driving me crazy though because I was trying to stop thinking about him, but then I started having dreams about being pregnant and married and dating/marrying him. Unfortunately, I now really want to get married really soon and I think I would love to be pregnant (after I'm married, of course). So, now I am struggling with these thoughts.

5) Random people keep asking me if I'm dating, including residents!... Why? It's like I had a sign on my forehead asking people to ask me if I am dating/marrying someone. Good grief! Even residents (not just one, several) asked me what my future husband looked like, where my boyfriend is, etc. Maybe G-d is trying to tell me something? I don't know. Whatever is happening though should definitely stop because I'm getting confused and antsy waiting for him. Trust me! I just found out cute boys sometimes think I'm cute too, so now I have a hope in my head that I will get married and I want to be married already!



Remind me to tell y'all about the funny things my residents have been saying lately though! My goodness, I've gotten some gems these past few days of work.

Daily Thanksgiving: G-d has provided an apartment, gotten my brother into college (right after we had already signed for the apartment even though we didn't know if he would come down with me or not), provided internet, and He got me an 86% on my latest micro test!!! Plus, He has shown me that the attraction I feel towards some boys is not entirely one-sided. In fact, more boys like me than just the ones I like and think are cute. This is dangerous for me because I'm starting to daydream about my future husband, but it's giving me hope that I will be a wife eventually, and maybe even a mom!

Waiting Game

Folks, I still have no internet so I think I will try to post something tonight from school. I don't like not having internet, it's quite inconvenient!

Anyway... Adults, and baby adults living on your own, how do you handle bad dreams? I just had an awful dream and normally I turn back into a child and go tell my mommy about it. Then, I usually watch a kids movie and relax... Now, I'm living completely alone and don't want to wake my mom up with a phone call. I am such a wuss! Maybe I wasn't ready to move out in the first place.

Still No Internet

Hey folks, I was hoping to have internet Friday, but that didn't happen so I am still using my phone to update this. I am so sorry and I have so much to tell you guys. So, let's hope it gets up and running Monday. It's been a long time since I have had internet and I am nearly dying without it.

Stay tuned for:

My rant about boys...

My future blinddate...

A description of my new apartment...

I keep having dreams about being pregnant and about boys...

Random people keep asking me if I'm dating, including residents!...

And anything else that may be on my mind once I get the silly internet modem and get it hooked up.




If you guys are curious about the HESI, nursing school admissions, my life, my views, etc., just email me or put your question as a comment to this post. I will answer to the best of my ability!

I apologize for any excessive mistakes, it's tough to blog on a phone!

Oh Summer, Where Did You Go?

Have you noticed that the older you get, the worse summer becomes? I love working, don't get me wrong, but I never get a break anymore. The past three or four summers have been crazy busy with work and now school. I have no time for myself let alone family or friends! At least this next semester will be a bit easier since I am doing school during the summer.

Just a quick update of my life today because I am on my phone due to a lack of internet because... I just moved into my aparyment a couple days ago! Yay! I no longer have to drive two hours each way everyday for school and work! That was so brutal and ridiculous, I do not know how people do that for years on end. So, I am living with my brother and it is going pretty great so far, even though the start up costs for apartments are crazy! Remind me to tell you about my country boy when I get on next, hopefully by Friday. It's not such a happy story, but I know it is for the best. Right now, though, it kinda hurts.

Daily Thanksgiving: G-d is providing in so many ways I am in awe and so relieved.